Why I’m Open About Miscarriage & Infertility

I was inspired to share this with you guys from an encounter I had at our store yesterday. I was casually rearranging things when a woman asked if I was Liz Marie… I of course responded that I was & we started chatting. She told me that she had recently started following my blog for home decor inspiration, but quickly found our fertility and miscarriage story & was more connected to that part of my blog than the home decor. You see, she herself had just suffered a miscarriage recently & she felt alone. She felt like she wasn’t supposed to talk about it & that no one else was talking about it. The worst part? I have this same conversation with women weekly in our store, I get these emails weekly in my inbox, & I get these comments weekly here on the blog. Women coming to me and thanking me for being open about our fertility & miscarriage struggles because they feel like it’s taboo to talk about, that it’s weird to bring up in conversation, but I’m here to tell you that I won’t be silent about it. I won’t be scared to talk openly about it. I won’t stop wanting to reach out to others who have lost babies or who have struggled with fertility so that they don’t feel alone.

I don’t mean to sound like a crazy activist wanting to shove my beliefs down your throat. Or that I think I’m awesome for being open about our journey. It’s not that at all. It’s because I’ve felt pushed by God to share. It’s because I feel called to share our testimony. It’s that I want to be open & loud that miscarriage is real & that infertility is reality for many many many people. It’s because I want to be loud for those who choose graciously and honorably to be quiet about their journey. I myself have felt shamed for sharing our story so openly by people that were actually close to me & shamed by people calling me a mom since all of our babies were in heaven & not here on earth. I have been left out on purpose by groups of moms & even told that I shouldn’t be so open about our loss because it makes others uncomfortable. It hurts. It really does. But being open about our fertility struggles & our babies that we lost too soon far outweigh that hurt & their short lives inspired me to openly share their story & our story to hopefully reach one person. One person that feels lonely, that feels forgotten, that feels left out,  I really want to make that one person feel a little less alone in their journey.

All in all I pray for a day when a woman isn’t shamed or made to feel left out when she is struggling with fertility or when she loses a baby. I want men to feel like they can openly talk about these things without feeling weird. I want those who have struggled & those who have never struggled to all feel like they can have open and honest conversations about all subjects surrounding infertility & pregnancy loss. Until then I try to be open & I will try to be there to talk to for anyone struggling through these tough times. Though we have had six miscarriages & 6 years of struggling with fertility, I am no expert on what to say or how to comfort anyone, but the one thing I can do is listen to those that choose to share their journeys & to talk for those who choose to be quiet about their journey. I choose to share my passions here on the blog like DIY & home decor, but I really want to use this platform to spread joy & hope as well. My heart is filled with hope & filled with joy no matter what is on our journey, & I truly want to share that with you guys. Thank you guys for always supporting us through our fertility journey & I want you to know that all of your support inspires me to keep sharing. It can be so scary to be vulnerable and open, but the love & support encourages me so much. Thank You. xx

 

Click [HERE] to read more about our fertility & miscarriage journey.

11 thoughts on “Why I’m Open About Miscarriage & Infertility

  1. Kelly Hecita

    Thank you for sharing your journey! I too started following your blog and Instagram because of home decor but feel a connection because of your fertility journey. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years with no luck and for some reason cannot bring myself to share our struggle with anyone, not even our families. For some reason it’s easy to talk to a stranger about how difficult it has been for me rather than talk to my family and friends. Not talking to anyone about our struggle has left me feeling lonely and it is comforting to know there are other couples out there who are going through the same thing we are and we are not alone. So THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journey! xo

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  2. Lindsey

    Your openness is so encouraging and truly does let those of us know there is a community of supporters going through exactly what we are. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility and though it can be a lonely and sad place, reading your posts and reading others comments shines a little light in this journey. Thank you for sharing 💕💕

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  3. Dorothy

    I love this. I’m an ECU friend of Melissa G’s and have followed your blog for design ideas for some time now. My husband and I are currently pregnant with our first baby after our own infertility journey. We have MFI and by the grace of God were blessed to find this out early in our TTC, which has saved much heartache. IUI was not an option for us unfortunately, but IVF was. After our first transfer failed this past summer, we transferred our last embryo and got the news the day before Thanksgiving.

    I am hesitant to share our story publically because I honestly don’t know how our friends and family will react. So many people push for adoption and I know there are also some conservative views on IVF in general. This was something my husband and I prayed long and hard about and felt it was what God planned for us. I am trying to build up the courage to share our story in April when it’s National Infertility Awareness Week, but I really just don’t know if I’m ready for some of the comments we might get. I’ve read the words of others on public news stories involving IVF and it absolutely scares me.

    I’m so glad there’s someone brave like you who is willing to speak up and share their story. For now, I am just documenting everything in my blog. If you ever happen to go the IVF route, feel free to check out my blog. I have documented everything from transvaginal U/S to injections to transfers. Keeping your journey in my prayers!

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  4. Melissa Dale

    Keep on telling your story! I remember when I was going through infertility, God placed several women in my path who were in the same place with me and being able to talk and share with them was my only saving grace! I remember at the time, I wrote in to the Today Show because it seemed that all they talked about was pregnancy and having babies and I wanted the world to know that it wasn’t all sunshine and roses for some people and there is another side to the joys and happiness of pregnancy, which is the loss and heartache of not being able to conceive or keep a pregnancy!

    Keep following God’s voice because His is the only one we should be listening to and consulting with first. I’m so sorry for your losses and trouble in conceiving a healthy pregnancy. Don’t lose hope and continue to share your heart’s desire with our Lord. Remember, too, that God doesn’t always answer our prayers on OUR time or in OUR way. That was my personal take away from my experience and it certainly grew my faith exponentially! Much love and peace to you on this journey ❤

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  5. Dina

    Thank you for sharing your personal story. God is in control and it’s his plan. I related to this story because i had lost our first child in 1993. It has been a long time but i still remember every moment of it. You are truly inspiring ❤️

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  6. Ashley

    Hi Liz!
    I felt the same way at one point! I would always whisper when I spoke of my miscarriages. I don’t anymore! I’m now almost 36 weeks pregnant after 3 miscarriages. Your time will come just as mine did!

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  7. Nelly

    Liz Marie-
    Thank you so much for sharing all you and your husband have been through. My husband and I have also dealt with fertility struggles, it is so painful and heartbreaking! Six procedure all unsuccessful! Heartache after heartache. I hit rock bottom, we both did. I can’t even imagine losing six babies. You are such an inspiration in sharing your story with all of us who have secretly struggled and those of us who have been shamed including by those who are supposed to love us. Thank you so much for sharing your journey!! Over the last year I have been finally able to get to the point where I too can have an open conversation about it. I leave it in God’s hands now. As I know whatever happens it is his plan for us. God bless you and your husband! Xoxo

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  8. Lisa

    Thank you for sharing, back when I went through the struggles of infertility I knew of no one else that had gone through it. I felt completely alone on a up and rollercoaster, going through infertility. My husband and I eventually adopted two beautiful girls and I will tell my story to anyone that will listen. I believe in sharing this, it’s not something to be ashamed of, but it’s s part of me and has help make the person I am today.

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  9. Melissa

    I started following you on IG for home decor inspiration and came across your infertility journey. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story, and please don’t ever let anyone stop you from telling it! God has a beautiful Plan for you! I struggled with infertility for 7 years, I was only 21 when my journey started. At that age I had no one I could relate to and everyone including doctors would brush me off because “I was too young to worry about it”. I was finally blessed with my 2 beautiful babies but all I can tell you is that I never stopped praying and I never doubted Gods plan for me! To this day I don’t talk about my journey much because I got used to people not caring but in my heart I know my story, God knows my story. Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story and being an inspiration to others. Today after reading your story, I shared my infertility journey for the first time in years! Never stop praying!

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  10. Carli Heringer

    Its hard to imagine people saying such horrible things to a person who has been through so much pain. I’m so sorry that that has happened to you. I hanger not personally suffered a miscarriage, but your openess gives me a peak into the hurt of my friends and family who have. Those who have never experienced a miscarriage can never know what it is like, but you help us understand, at least a little, and hopefully help people be more compassionate. ♡

    Reply

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