Category Archives: Liz Marie

I Was Prayed Over On Top Of Magnolia Market

No words can really explain what happened when I visited Magnolia Market last week but I did say that I would blog my experience so I will try to share it with you today. Last week, as many of you know, I visited Magnolia Market with the Magnolia Home Paint team. It was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had and the best part about it was that I had no idea how awesome it was going to be. I mean I’ve always wanted to visit Magnolia market but I didn’t know when that would be or how it would happen and so when I finally got the opportunity I thought cool I finally get to see what it’s all about. Little did I know that it would be a life-changing experience. I didn’t go there with any expectations & I certainly didn’t go there looking for God.  The beauty of Magnolia Market is deeper than the surface. Of course every inch of Magnolia Market is dreamy & photoshoot worthy, but it’s also so much more than that. I was going to come on here today and give you my tour guide of waco and go on and on how amazing it was. It was. I about fainted 90 times from all the beauty every time I turned a new corner [I mean even the bathrooms were cute. Who does that?], but I couldn’t help but share about how God met me in Waco as well…

My Trip to Magnolia Market - Magnolia Market Silos Waco Texas

My Trip to Magnolia Market - Magnolia Market Silos Waco Texas

My Trip to Magnolia Market - Magnolia Market Silos Waco Texas

My Trip to Magnolia Market - Magnolia Market Silos Waco Texas

 

My Trip to Magnolia Market - Magnolia Market Silos Waco Texas

I know God is with me everywhere I go. He always has been & always will be. I feel His presence when I think of it, & I try to welcome Him in to every moment of my day, but sometimes, because I’m human, I will be going on with my busy life & He sends some big reminders that He is there. Like at Magnolia Market. The second I walked into the market on Wednesday night after I flew in I felt a calming presence. Like pulling up to my grams house for a visit. The energy level was half inspiring & half soothing. A perfect mix for my creative soul. & very much needed from my tireless weeks I’ve been having and the next day the God moments started. I won’t share them all with you because I know I share a lot on here, but some are a little private at the moment & some I just still can’t put into words. But right away I started meeting wonderful people. First was the Kilz team, I had no idea what to expect when I showed up all by myself & I ended up knowing two of the people on the team & they happened to have been my favorites from another project I was on & I had no idea they would be there. Also the rest of the team was amazing & all my fears of showing up alone quickly went away. During the silobration as I was walking around the market alone complete strangers were stopping to chat with me in the market including police officers who truly just wanted to chat about the weather & how I prefer my coffee. I met some random couples & we were talking like old friends in the first five minutes.  The people there were just nice. Then I started to meet some of my blog readers… & that was God moment after God moment. I first of all couldn’t believe how many wonderful people recognized this little girl from Michigan wearing her big floppy hat who happens to just share her little life online. Women who shared fertility struggles coming to chat with me & share their testimonies, women who have never had been to Magnolia who were not planning to come but came when they saw I was there so we could meet, men [yes, I guess there are a few of you!] who wanted to say thank me for inspiring them to start doing DIY projects, girls who felt like we were instant best friends, & so on. It was a dream to meet so many of you in such a creative space. But most of all I was humbled that anyone would ever want to meet me.. and I’m not just saying that, I truly don’t know why anyone would  want to come say hi or see me, but I am so grateful & will never take those moments for granted. Even when I’m in Target with  no makeup & a messy bun.. Love it. All day I had reassurance that Jose & I were being prayed for.. strangers coming up to us and telling us they pray for us & our 7 babies in heaven & our someday baby here on earth. It was such gift knowing that we are not alone on this journey & I’m so thankful for that strong reminder while at Magnolia Market. Lately I have been feeling very alone & struggling with our loss & infertility & this was such a gift knowing we have so many friends who faithfully pray for us.

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There were also so many God moments in meeting people in my creative field as well while I was there. One of them happened while visiting the Findery [you must visit while in Waco!] that was down the road from The Silos. I met all the owners & their sweet employees. We chatted about things that were weighing on me in this business & without even looking for answers a lot of my questions were now gone. & I never even had to ask. I honestly didn’t want to walk around Waco anymore than I had to in the heat, but I felt a push & I’m so thankful that I went. Through my short time wandering Waco it’s like God led me to meet all of these amazing people that all taught me and helped me in some way. I also met some amazing vendors at the Silobration that were so inspiring and encouraging. Every time I started a conversation with someone during this trip I left feeling more full of life, more inspired, & smiling from ear to ear. I’m telling you, it was weird. If I didn’t know better I would think that someone planned all of this. Actually now that I typed that out, I’m dumb, it was planned. & I’m so thankful. I won’t bore you with all of the business talk, but every corner I turned seemed to be filled with more opportunities & after a few months of really burning myself out, I felt refreshed in my business life & my creative brain. Much needed!

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Then there was the night I attended the Johnny Swim concert. Oh, that beautiful, life changing night. The Magnolia Home paint team & I were able to attend the concert on the rooftop of the Magnolia Market. It was a dream come true to see the beautiful place from such a high vantage point. The first memorable part of the night is being in Joanna’s presence for a few moments on the way to the rooftop in her office. Remember how I said Magnolia Market carried that peaceful vibe? Well, so does she. She is everything you see on TV & more. A beautiful down to earth woman who looks you in the eyes when you talk & treats everyone like they are someone. I gathered that from the 60 seconds I was in her presence. Her mom & sister are the same, they will make you feel like family after you meet them once. When Chip & Jo went onto stage & started talking it was like God was like “Hey Liz, you need to hear this.” Of course Chip & Joanna were hilarious as always, but they shared a deep message that really struck me. I think everyone could have gotten something different from it, but they spoke about not being able to do it all, slowing down, family & friends first, & to really take it all in. Oh my. I’m one of those who thinks she needs to do it all. I’m a people pleaser, a night owl, & work has always taken a priority. It took hearing that from two people I had never met to make me notice that. I need to slow down. I need to give myself a break & not put so much pressure on myself. I need to put my family & myself first. It’s all going to work out. There words were so raw & real. Of course Johnnyswim was dreamy and I’m a new fan of them as well & listening to their music really just made the night a complete dream.

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& then came a moment I never saw coming. The defining moment of the entire weekend at the silos that brought all of the God moments together. I went out of my comfort zone to say hi to a beautiful woman I had seen walking around the silobration that day. I had spotted her earlier in the day wearing a beautiful dress rocking a baby in a crowd of people & she had a glow around her that I couldn’t ignore. I didn’t meet her during the day & so when I saw her on the roof of the market that night I had to say hi. Best decision ever. She had the most calming energy I had ever experienced and as she sat swaying her baby as we talked I found myself starting to sway with her  as we got to know each other. She was wonderful. Her name is Jen & she is a singer, has amazing style, makes cute babies, & just oozed with the love of the Lord. Of course she is so much more, but this is about the moment that meeting her created. We were joined by Jamie from Three Twenty Co., & Christina Crenshaw. We talked about a lot of wonderful things & then the beautiful topic of babies came up & I somewhat froze. I am very open about our miscarriages & our fertility. It usually never bothers me to bring it up, but this night was so upbeat & I had just met these women. When it came to me, I just blurted it out, “We have 7 beautiful babies in heaven.” & there was a pause, but not for long & they all chimed in like I had just said that I had a beautiful baby at home. They were not phased by my rather alarming statement I had just made. They started sharing their journeys with fertility & gave me stories of hope. Then the moment I NEVER saw coming happened. Jamie asked if they could all pray over me. I was shocked. These women who I just met wanted to lay hands on me & pray. Of course I said yes. I can’t begin to explain the words they all spoke over me, but it was the most caring an loving thing that anyone has ever done for me that I just met. What an amazing gift. After they were done praying I felt a new spirit in me, I felt renewed in my faith, I felt changed. This might have been a small moment for them, but to me it was huge. It was something I will never forget. There I was at the top of Magnolia Market, surrounded by these Godly women, the breeze of the Texas air whipping around us, Johnnyswim playing in the background, & These wonderful women praying over me.

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& that’s how the week at Magnolia was. It was filled with small & big moments that I felt God in. I didn’t go there looking for God, but God met me there. He introduced me to some amazing people, He showed me a lot of things I needed to see, He taught me a lot about myself, & He certainly showed me that He is always there. I truly believe that the Gaines built that place upon The Lord & that He had His hand in all of it & it shows through everything that happened to me on that trip. I’m so thankful that they invited God into that place & I’m so thankful that they invite all of us to come there and experiece not only their creative talents, but the Holy Spirit. Thank you Chip & Jo!!!! xx

 

Ps. I will be blogging my fun experience with Magnolia Home Paint very soon as well because that’s a whole other amazing story. Thank you to Magnolia Home Paint & Kilz for bringing me on this amazing trip!

I’m a Mess.

Are you here looking for perfection? Something magazine worthy & without flaws? Well, I’m terribly sorry, you won’t find that here. I’m an absolute mess. I wash my hair maybe twice a week, I hardly dust my house, Most of the time I have yesterdays mascara on & zit cream on my face at noon still, our home has a few areas that are presentable & the rest is a jumbled mess, I’m always late, I’m terrible at returning phone calls, making plans gives me anxiety, & I’m the most sensitive little creature you could ever meet. Funny story… Jose calls me his little creature sometimes haha. It sounds mean, but he’s always commenting at how cute & little I am & it is just a funny thing. Anyways, back to me being a mess. I feel like sometimes I give the wrong impression like I have it all together. 5 nights out of 7 I don’t even take time to make dinner because I feel so behind or my anxiety creeps up on me & I feel paralyzed by the pressures of the world. Am I writing this for therapy? Maybe. Am I writing this for you to feel bad for me? Heck no. I’m writing this so maybe you feel normal. Maybe you see all my photos on Instagram or my blog posts & you think I have it all together, that my life is all beautiful barns & pretty rooms, & that I am always smiling & laughing. Nope. I struggle. A lot. I don’t share my anxiety with everyone because frankly I feel like it’s quite the downer, but man do I struggle. Some mornings Jose holds me in bed because my heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest simply from the daily tasks ahead. There are days I think about our 8 babies in heaven and I can’t find the light in the world thinking about the darkness of losing them. There are moments when I feel so alone when I am surrounded by people. I mean I could go on, but you guys I’m saying this to let you know that I don’t have it all together….

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I don’t share this a whole lot because I think I’m good at hiding it, but I have really bad social anxiety. I get anxious to leave my house, I struggle meeting new people, & I’m quite intimidated by just about everyone. When I’m at the store & a group of people come up & want to meet me.. I get so nervous! I end up saying really awkward things & that’s really me.. an awkward mess. But I’m realizing that it’s ok. It’s ok to be messy. Life is messy & sometimes it’s nice to not pretend that everything is peachy when it’s not.  It’s nice to not put on a front & to be dare I say, real? Now, don’t get me wrong…  There is a lot of beauty in my life. All of the photos & blog posts I share are real.. there is a lot of real beauty in my life, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. I love my life. I know I’ve highlighted the negatives in the beginning of this post, but honestly I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I know we all are in different seasons of life & the season I am in now is quite amazing, but I also know there will be harder & easier seasons as well. God has given me struggles like he gives to everyone else, but I’m thankful for mine because each struggle has made me a better person & turned into a million more blessings. I’m sharing this because when I get comments of “I’m so jealous of your life” or something similar to that on social media it doesn’t make me happy, it makes me sad & I want to blurt out to that person that maybe there are parts of my life that they love, but we all have our struggles. You are not alone. That’s what it is.. my main point, you are not alone. We will never measure up to everyones expectations. You will let people down, you will fail, you will hurt, but what matters is that you keep moving, you forgive yourself, you learn something from the situation, & those that matter will forgive you & love you no matter what. Your struggles may look different from my struggles, but what bonds us is our perseverance & how we deal with those downfalls in our life.

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I honestly started writing this post tonight because I was feeling like I was falling short. I felt like the emails were piling up, the to-do list was too long, my hair is dirty, the house is torn apart, I haven’t opened up my Bible Study in forever, & I couldn’t write about the pretty in my life in fear that you might think that’s all there is in my life…. pretty. Some of it is ugly & some of it is pretty & I try to find balance in it all out everyday. I love finding the beauty in every second of everyday. I love finding the lesson in hard times, I love finding the joy in a bad day, I love embracing my flaws, & I love accepting everyone despite their flaws as well. I will continue to seeing the beauty in every moment & sharing it with you because that’s what I do & that’s what makes me happy. I like updating my Instagram, blog, pinterest, & facebook daily with beautiful random moments of my day, the good & bad of projects we are working on, the farmhouse renovation, our unfolding fertility story, & the journey through all of it. But don’t ever think that our life is perfect because it’s not… it’s a beautiful mess just like me. xx

 

My view in our backyard tonight as I wrote this…

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& it’s moments like this that I’m thankful for the struggle, thankful for God’s reminders of his plans for us, thankful that I am not in control, & thankful for this beautiful life we live. There is beauty in every moment, you just have to look for it.

New Beginnings For Liz Marie Blog

This day has been a long time coming. Blogging is a serious passion of mine. It’s something I love doing & I love sharing our journey with you guys. Blogging makes me happy & I hope in some small way my blog makes you happy too. I hope you guys see how much I love blogging & see that this is my happy place. I don’t try to be perfect here on the blog & it’s not always “magazine worthy”, but it’s real life. It’s our life. I have had this same blog design now that is currently up for years & it has been wonderful, but lately some things have not been functioning properly & a lot of  you have been writing me to tell me & I’m so thankful for that. The comments section has been broken for a while & not allowing me or my readers to post comments [thanks to those who are able to comment.. I appreciate them!] & that is just one of the things that is broken & not functioning properly. I am so thankful for all of you who stop by the blog daily & I’m working really hard with Bliss & Tell Branding Company at creating a more user friendly website for you to visit daily & with a whole new fresh look that is very Liz Marie that hopefully you feel inspired by as well.

Liz Marie Blog - Fresh new branding

Liz Marie Blog - Fresh new branding
I think in this new season of our new farmhouse & all of our new beginnings that this is the perfect time to do a complete blog refresh. It’s been wonderful working with Bliss & Tell on this blog overhaul & I’m so excited for the reveal. Give us a couple weeks as we get everything all set, but know that I’m so excited to launch the new website design & share with you guys the new fresh look. I hope it makes visiting my blog, finding past projects, & interacting with me a little easier. & of course I hope you guys like the new look too.

Liz Marie Blog - Fresh new branding
Liz Marie Blog - Fresh new branding
My business cards just showed up in the mail so I thought it was a great time to let you guys know about the new and exciting look in this little sneak peek. If you are local you can pick my new business cards up at the store, The Found Cottage, & of course I would love to see you as well.  I hope you guys are as excited as I am & I’m so excited for the launch. Stay tuned! Thank you guys so much for being here on the blog & for sharing in this journey with me. It means the world to me. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, & Pinterest for more updates from me! xx

You Are A Mom.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

I read an article recently that kind of got my blood boiling. It really takes a lot for me to get upset by an article online. I’m really good at just scrolling past things I don’t agree with & going along my merry way. BUT this one made me stop & really think. I’m not going to name names or give away this particular article because she is allowed to have her opinions, & today I’m going to give mine here in my happy place. Basically the premise of the article that I was was reading said you are not a mom until you change diapers or wake up multiple times a night to feed a baby. That makes you a mom. Not the fact that you have a living human in you with a tiny heart beat. Nope, this article said that you shouldn’t call yourself a mother & be thankful for that 9 months when you still are not a mom because we are all in for a “rude awakening” for when the baby is born & you are “actually a mother.” Whoa. I wasn’t going to talk about this, but it’s Mother’s Day this weekend so I thought it might be a good time for me to just voice my little opinion & then enjoy my weekend celebrating my 6 babies in Heaven, because guess what? I am proud to call myself a Mom to those angel babies & I hope that any of you reading this with babies that left us too soon realize you are a mom to those precious souls too.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

My first issue with this is my Biblical belief. I know we all have different religious views & ways we interpret them, but the Bible I read says that The Lord formed us in our Mothers womb & that we are all fearfully & wonderfully made. Our life starts in the womb. This all starts when we are in our mothers womb. This all starts at conception. What a beautiful thing to go into our first ultrasound & see that beautiful heartbeat & see our child for the first time. Because that is your child right? That you are looking at on the screen. Then doesn’t that make you that child’s mother? Your child is safely snuggled inside of you safe from the outside world & you have already started caring for your baby right when you got that positive pregnancy test. You quit the caffeine, you quit lifting heavy objects, you started taking those pesky prenatal vitamins, you started reading those baby books, & you already love that baby of yours. You are a mom.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

My second issue is the measurement of when you are a mom. Who determines this? The article specifically said you are not a mom until these three things: You change diapers, you feed your baby on the outside, & you wake up multiple times a night. Ok, so her opinion is that if you do not do these three things you are not a mom. I respect her opinion, but I’m going to have to disagree. I believe that’s just another stage of being a mom. Being a mom has many stages. You get pregnant & this is an exciting time of being a mom where you start caring for your little babe when it’s inside of you & the excitement builds to their birthday. Then you give birth you are in a whole new stage of being a mom where you actually get to meet this amazing being that has been making you so sick for 9 months. Then the baby is a toddler & you are in a whole new phase of being a mom where the nugget starts running around & touching everything and asking questions. Can you imagine if someone told you that you were not a mom until your kid was two and they started walking, or if you were not a mom until your kid was 5 & in kindergarten, or until your kid was 16 & could drive? That’s ridiculous, so why are you not a mom to that little baby inside of you, just because it’s not needing it’s diaper changed yet? This whole you are not a “real mom” until this [insert phase of life] is kind of hurtful to the mom & the child. Why does size or formation of your child count as a measurement to determine if you are a mom yet? Your body was able to conceive life & your baby has started developing like it will the rest of it’s life when it’s outside of you. You are a mom.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

My final thought tonight, I could go on for hours, is kind of a hard one, but something that has run through my mind. If you take a pregnancy test & realize you are pregnant & celebrate & a week later you start to bleed & find out you miscarried, or if you have gone through your whole pregnancy & lose your child during birth, or if you go to two ultrasounds & at your third you realize your child has gone to heaven. This is called a miscarriage or still birth & one of the worst things that could ever happen to a mother. You are filled with grief, your world crumbles around you, you lose hope, you are depressed, & you question everything. Why? Because you lost your child & you are a mom. A grieving mom who didn’t get the chance to live a long happy life with your child. You had moments stolen from you & replaced with heartache & pain. Your child is in a better place, but you were left here to grieve such a deep loss that no one around you understands because you are a mom who has lost her child. You didn’t get to meet that precious baby outside your womb & see them smile or laugh for the first time, you missed their first cry, you missed out on their whole childhood & adulthood. You had their life planned out on the outside because you are a mom who had high hopes for your child. You thanked God for blessing you with a baby & the love you had for your baby was so deep already that you wanted to protect your child & you were. Just likes it’s unimaginable to lose a child when they are outside our womb, it is unimaginable to lose them when they are inside the womb as well. & that’s because as a mom, losing a child is never easy & one of the hardest things we can bare. & if you have pain over losing a child & joy of finding out you are with child, you are a mom.

You are a mom - Happy Mothers day to all moms in all stages of Motherhood.

I could go on, I could say more, but I’ll stop here for today. I respect everyones opinion on this subject, but I feel for my six babies in heaven & for everyone reading my blog today who has lost a child that I needed to use my blog to state my opinion. I don’t want to start a debate here, but if you have a different opinion & feel compelled to share it I suggest you use your platform to do so like I did today, but please choose to be kind. Conception of a child is a down right miracle. If you have never googled the odds of getting pregnant or researched just how miraculous pregnancy is, I suggest you do it. As a woman & a mom who has carried 6 babies in me, even though I have sadly lost all six before seeing their beautiful faces on the outside, I am thankful for each and every one of them & I am so thankful for the months that I carried them & was their mom here on earth. & I’m thankful for the gift of being a mom to them while they are now with God. I want to wish a very happy Mother’s Day to all moms out there with babies here on earth from your womb or another womb, babies in heaven, & babies in your womb who you are excited to meet, & to those of you with all the above! I hope you feel honored & special to be a mom ever single day of the year no matter what phase of being a mom you are in. You are awesome. You are a Mom. xx Liz Marie

 

Mother’s Day cards: [here] 
Mother’s Day mug: [here]

Start with reading about our fertility & loss story below…

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Our 6th miscarriage [here]

Psalm 139:13-16

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Our 6th Baby

I honestly can’t believe I’m writing this post. It doesn’t seem real. & never in my life would I have thought that I would have 6 beautiful babies in heaven…

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A week ago today I went to the doctors to hear my beautiful babies heartbeat for the third time after hearing it twice & when the doctor turned on the ultrasound we didn’t hear the beautiful noise that we had heard in the weeks past. It’s little heart had stopped beating & we saw our babies tiny body on the ultrasound screen, but knew the Lord had called our tiny babies soul to heaven.

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We had gone through a lot for our 6th baby. We were at the fertility doctor two times a week for 10 weeks, Jose had to give me shots nightly which killed him to do because he couldn’t stand to see me in pain, I took countless pills a day, I was hormonal, I was tired, I was sick, I was scatterbrained, I was exhausted. Fertility treatments are no joke, honestly I felt worse doing them then I actually did when I got pregnant. I felt like no one around us understood or knew what I was going through, but looking back I would do it all over again because even these shorts days with my babies are worth it. And every child God has given me is a gift. Even though they have all been taken away from us so soon. They are a gift from God. I loved our babies for every second of their life, and I will love them for every second of my life. The day we found our we were pregnant we were excited, scared, nervous, & just knew that it was all in God’s hands. Our first ultrasound was amazing & we saw a tiny baby, a tiny heartbeat, & were even told it could be twins. We were just thankful in the moment for this beautiful gift of life.

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At 8 weeks pregnant I had a tiny little bump that showed me my body was already changing & carrying our precious 6th baby. That baby was totally worth the tears during the shots, the upset stomach, the anxiety, the exhaustion, the doctor appointments, the pills, & all of the emotions of being pregnant for the 6th time after 5 losses. That little life was worth all that and more. Our baby was the size of a raspberry & was just a precious brief moment in our lives that I will cherish along with those brief moments of our 5 others babies. We are thankful that our babies are with the Lord, their father in heaven.

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Those 8 weeks of knowing I had a child of God inside of me were scary to be honest. I will not pretend that I am a perfect person and didn’t have crippling fear that made me want to lie in bed all day or that I didn’t have thoughts of losing another baby. I think so many try to hide that because they feel terrible for feeling like that, but I think it’s normal. After 5 losses I think it’s natural to have fear, but prayer got me through it. I prayed God would forgive me for my fear & that he would take it away from me & I prayed until it was gone. When it returned I started all over again. Fear is the lack of faith that God is in control. No, my pregnancy did not go how I would have planned. But my Father in heaven was in control & His plan is much greater than mine & for that I am thankful. He is in control. I repeat that when anxiety strikes until my faith returns. And to be honest during our miscarriages I struggle with staying on top of things, being myself, and frankly being social in general. It’s not because I am depressed, but more because my focus shifts on healing emotionally and physically & everything else takes a backseat. I am not perfect, and I hope that you never think that. I am not ashamed that I don’t stay on top of everything during loss, because I am human. Loss is hard no matter what it is & we all deal with it differently & in our own way. There is no perfect way to handle miscarriage, but calling on the Lord through those times of doubt is the perfect answer to the imperfect situation.

So What now? This may be too much information for some, but in my heart I feel like I need to share because someone out there is struggling and if this helps just one person then my baby went to heaven to help someone. Maybe to change someone else’s life besides mine. I am technically still pregnant with our 6th baby & that just makes me feel like I still haven’t said goodbye or fully mourned the loss of our child. We have had all 5 of our other babies naturally at home and without surgery. We feel like that is what’s best for me & so do our doctors. Our current doctor has not wanted to induce me quite yet like all the other times because he feels it’s the best route, and God has not allowed me to have the baby yet. This has never happened. I’ve never been forced to carry our child after we found out it had gone to be with the Lord. It’s a whole new level of healing and just not knowing what’s next. I’m sitting here typing this knowing that our child is lifeless inside of me & it’s a reminder of the short life of our baby. I’m From here on out we were referred to a high risk pregnancy specialist in the area that will hopefully be able to help us more. Over the past 3 years we have taken countless tests including getting our chromosomes tested & everything has come back normal. The only thing that has been determined is that I have PCOS [read more about my journey with that here] So from here on out we continue our fertility and miscarriage journey with our heads high, our hearts full of love, and our mind and bodies filled with faith & hope. We pray that we may get answers as to why we keep miscarrying, we pray that the Lord leads us to do His will here on earth, we pray that we stay positive like we are, & we pray that we can grow our little family when the timing is right.

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We live such a beautiful life & I don’t want to take any of it for granted. We truly have more than we could have ever asked for & God has truly given us more than we ever deserve & we are fully aware of that. I hope this post doesn’t upset you or make you feel like we are not happy with our lives, grateful for our daily gifts and our abundant blessings, or depressed that we do not have a child here on earth. I feel like when I tell people we miscarried they feel worse than we do, and it makes me not want to share because I don’t want anyone to feel bad for us or to feel like we are broken. Through all of our losses we grow closer to God, closer together, and gain more perspective and joy for life. I feel like if I had never gone through this journey I would be blind to true joy, true happiness, & the deep love for life because I know how fragile it really is. We pray someday God gives us a child here on earth, but until then we are content & live each day to the fullest. We know that a child will change our lives dramatically so until then we enjoy each other fully each day, enjoy our happy busy life, & take full advantage of our time together because we don’t want to ever regret waisting these years being sad or only thinking about having children because we know that isn’t a quality way to live. Know we are sad about our loss & wish that we could have held our baby, but have peace in our hearts that our babies are in a place far greater than this earth & that we will see them someday and they will all come running in my arms. I will have one full lap of children one day & that makes my heart smile. I can’t make this stuff up, I didn’t tell Jose what I was writing about tonight because I just started typing my heart out and didn’t really think much of it. He just leaned over, kissed me, & said “we have the greatest life ever.” How can I be sad or not look at all my blessings? How can I not trust that God is in control? It’s not my will, but His. My joy comes from the Lord, my heart is full, and I am fully aware of Gods presence in our lives & that He is blessing us beyond belief daily. Daily beautiful reminders like that are just one of the simple gifts from God I am thankful for. I don’t doubt that for a second. I am thankful for God’s gifts, God’s plans, & God’s promises because they are far better than I could ever imagine. I could go on.. But my point is this.. If you are experiencing loss of any kind not just miscarriage or going through something hard because we all do,  focus on God’s rich blessings in your life, ask him for peace, pray for him to take away your anxiety, & lastly thank Him for every moment, even the struggles because those struggles are part of this beautiful journey here on earth.

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Funny little God moment: The day we left the doctor after we found out our 6th baby had gone to Heaven, Mr. LMB wanted to make our day awesome so he took me to all my favorite places, we shopped until we dropped, got massages, ate our favorite food, & just laughed and forgot about the loss for a day. Well, when we left the doctors we found this wall & were just struck with how God speaks to us in mysterious ways. We both just smiled & agreed. There are always setbacks, but God always provides. I stood in front of the wall 8 weeks pregnant & strong because I knew in my heart that God was by my side & so was my amazing husband. I will be back later when I have all my thoughts together & I’m not just typing everything on my mind. I will share more of our journey, more about what we have been through, more about our doctors, and if you have any questions or any posts you want me to do ask your questions below. We will be glad to answer any of them. It’s a hard thing to talk about, but if our babies can help people, we feel like their purpose here on earth was far greater than we could have imagined. Thank you for all of your love and support on our journey.. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts & your prayers mean so much to us. & remember to be kind to everyone because you do not know what kind of battles they are fighting. xx

Read more about our journey below:

DSC_59402Our first baby.

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Our second & third babies. 

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Our fourth baby. 

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Our fifth baby.

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Having PCOS

10 Things To Not Say to a person struggling with infertility

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This post is not a bitter post by any means. Sometimes when I read posts about fertility I sense this harshness that turns me off right away. This post has been requested so many times for me to do & I have now lost 5 babies so I feel like all 10 of these things have been said to me. You know, when people are trying to comfort me or when they chat with me on a normal daily basis. I never really take offense to any of it because honestly I personally struggle with talking to people who have miscarried or that struggle with fertility as well even though I have experienced it. I don’t know what to say most of the time. I never get angry when they say these things, but they do catch me off guard every time. But who knows there could be someone out there struggling with infertility that is more sensitive & these things could really hurt them. So, this isn’t a post about how I know everything you should say to someone on their fertility journey or about how perfect I am at comforting someone through the loss of a baby.. because I’m far from it. But it’s things that maybe we should avoid saying all the time to people that struggle with infertility or that have miscarried. Now, these might not be true for everyone, but these are things I have had friends share with me that they have heard & some that I have experienced myself. I hope this helps some of you who do not know what it feels like to go through any of this as you talk to people that are going through it. Or if you are like me & you have been through these things, but maybe just need a reminder of what not to say to someone who struggles with infertility…

 1. “Just wait until you are a mom” – For me this one is a kicker. I’m sitting here having been pregnant 5 times, have carried these babies for a few months, have loved these babies, prayed for these babies, connected with these babies, & promised these babies the world. I am a mom. I carried a life inside of me five times, so let’s not say that one. & to the women who can’t get pregnant…That’s what they are waiting for.. that’s what they pray for.. let’s not rub that in that there is this wait. I don’t think there is another thing to say in place of this, but let’s avoid this one all together.

 2. “Just stop trying & it will happen” – Nope. Nope. Nope. Not how it works. You have to keep trying. The trying is the most important part for us that struggle with fertility. Sure, maybe eventually it would just happen, but for most of us we need full medical assistance or at least a lot of planning, eating right, praying, & LOTS OF TRYING to get pregnant. Those words can be hurtful too for those that work so hard to gain control of their fertility, you are basically saying that because they are trying & because of all their work that’s why it’s not happening. Let’s maybe say… “You are doing so good & being so strong, keep your head up & keep trying.”

3. “You don’t need a doctor! My friend tried eating ______ & it worked”–  Another big nope. A lot of us get poked & prodded with needles weekly. We have so many doctor visits that we can’t count them. We have legit conditions that no potato would ever cure. We wish! Potatoes would be a whole lot cheaper than fertility treatments, but for most of us it’s just not the case. Suggesting something isn’t mean though, & don’t get me wrong, but maybe just saying it worked for someone & not stating that it’s what’s going to cure who you are talking to. Because trust me, we’ve probably already tried it.

4. “It’s all in God’s Time.” – We know. We learn this lesson every month when it doesn’t happen. We know this for a fact. We don’t need to be reminded of it or get it thrown in our face over & over again. Everyone struggles with something. If you lose your job, or someone dies, or a child gets sick it’s not comforting to hear “It’s in God’s time”, but maybe we need to hear “We are praying for you” or “I love you & I’m here for you”. & this one I know is controversial because I know in my heart that God is in control of my life & everything that happens in it, & He reminds me of that. I’m just not comforted when someone else reminds me of that.

5. “Why don’t you just adopt.” – Ummmm this one I will never get. First of all it’s not “just adopting” Adoption is the most beautiful thing you could do for another human being & it’s not a thing you just do over night or on your lunch break. It’s a life changing long process that many I know are going through. Many people I know who have conceived children & many who are choosing adoption over trying to conceive children. It’s not the solution for everyone who struggles with infertility. Personally we have talked about adoption long before we ever knew we would deal with infertility. We would love that opportunity to have a child through adoption, but you have to know that you don’t offer up this as the solution like this person has never thought of this before. It’s not for everyone. It takes a strong courageous person to make the decision to adopt. & to me it kind of sounds like you are telling the person to just give up with their fertility journey & that’s not very supportive either. Though, supporting someone on an adoption journey is the best thing you could do, it doesn’t need to be offered up as the solution to their infertility or their miscarriages. Adoption is amazing & anyone who says things like “Oh it’s not their baby, they adopted” or “They didn’t have any babies of their own, they just adopted” I will never understand. Adoption is a struggle that far exceeds 9 months. There is waiting, heartbreak, more waiting, fear, pain & so much more that goes into adopting. It should not be looked at in any other way besides completely respected because those babies are their own babies. They carried them in their hearts, & forever they will be there.

6. “I hate being pregnant.” – Though this is true for many many women, it doesn’t need to be said in front of someone you KNOW who would love to carry a child. Now, once in a while complaining about pregnancy is fine, I mean you are carrying a 4 pound child in there that is kicking your ribs & making you nauseous, I get it! But the constant complaining in front of someone who struggles with fertility is a big no. It’s very inconsiderate & if you are close to the person it can be very hurtful. This is one I have really learned a lot from, I know when I carry to term [praying that God allows this to happen] I am really going to have to watch what I say in front of people & maybe save the complaints for my boo thang while he rubs my feet haha. Use your own transgressions on this one & maybe put yourself in their shoes?

7. “You will understand when you are a mom” – This one I can kind of get. I mean I don’t understand waking up in the middle of the night to change a poopy diaper quite yet or getting no sleep because of a baby. I mean I just get no sleep because of work, school, & other things at the moment. But I also don’t get it for the other 98% of the time. I had this one conversation the other day & everything that was said to the “you will understand when you are a mom” response were things that a normal functioning adult would understand being a mom or not. I am a human.. I am a responsible adult with feelings… 98% of the time that phrase is used I think it’s just being said, but I think a man or woman without a child would “understand” what  you are talking about because we have normal feelings & we are normal people. I am also not going to tell you that I understand what it’s like to wake up for five feedings a night, I have learned that lesson through all of this. I know this phrase isn’t mean to hurt, but when you are waiting to become a mom or if you are not being recognized as a mom of angel babies.. it hurts. I think what you meant to say is “You will understand when you have a toddler poop all over you while the baby is crying in the bouncer.” but you know what, let’s not even say that… it’s kind of a put down & should also be avoided.

8. “Oh we didn’t invite you because you don’t have kids…” – I mean I love going to the zoo or the park, didn’t you before you had kids? I like sitting on park benches & sipping lattes or checking out the monkey exhibit. I mean, yes I don’t always make time to do these things because I’m busy with my own schedule, but an invite says a 1,000 words. It says.. “Hey, we want to hang out with you & we don’t think you need a kid with you to be fun.” among other things. & I also love being around kids too, it teaches me a lot for when I have kids here on earth & I think that by inviting someone that maybe doesn’t have kids it shows that there can still be a friendship. To be left our for struggling with fertility is hurtful & it truly makes that person feel that you are not supporting them on this journey they are on. It’s kind of like a scene form Mean Girls if there was a remake of it with them as adults. I’m getting flashbacks of the “You can’t sit with us!” scene. Let’s all play nice. Oh, & don’t be offended if your friend that struggles with infertility declines she might have something else to do that day, she might have to work, she might be busy, she might be having a bad day, she might be on fertility drugs that make her nauseous every second of the day, but PLEASE know that your gesture of inviting maybe made her day & that she is thankful.

9. “I hate my kids.” – Believe it or not this happened to me. This really happened. Now, they didn’t know what I was struggling with or what I had been through in their defense [if there is a defense to that]. But just in case you say this about your children in front of someone who struggles with fertility. Just don’t. Maybe you don’t mean it & your kids are giving you a hard time that day, but maybe choose some better words. Now, trust me, I know that kids aren’t always perfect & that they are the naughtiest little cutest things ever, but to really choose what you complain about in front of that person can make a world of difference. Most of them would give anything to have a naughty little rascal around so it just takes the joy & the life out of trying for that naughty little rascal to arrive when you constantly complain about your children.

10. “I know what you are going through, it took us 3 months” – Well, since it’s considered “normal” to take a year to get pregnant & most people who struggle with fertility have been trying for a 1+ years this isn’t something that needs to be said. Everyone takes their fertility journey differently. I have to say that I think I take our 3 year/5 loss fertility journey very well & don’t let it control my days or my feelings like I have known some people who have tried for 5 months to do. It’s not a bad thing either way, everyone handles things differently. This example just proves that any kind of comparison isn’t valid, & maybe that person struggling for 3 months is depressed, sad & struggling more than the person that has been trying for 2 years, but since it’s a comparison with so many variables, it’s just not necessary. To say you understand the hurt of loss & the struggle of trying is ok, but leave the time comparisons & all of that out. This is one I need to work on.. telling someone with one loss that I know the pain because I have lost 5 isn’t helping them more than just telling them I understand the pain of miscarriage & letting them talk about their feelings. Infertility isn’t the time or the place to one-up someone. I think this one goes both ways, maybe not always bringing up how long it took you & maybe not always bringing up the number of losses or failed attempts, & not always sharing how long you have been trying. Of course this information should be shared sometimes, but there is a time & a place.

Whew! That was a long post. I truly from the bottom of my heart hope this helps someone in some way. I know writing it all down made me think of things I could change as well. No negative feelings towards anyone who has ever said one of these things because we do not always know how to comfort someone going through such a hard thing, but we all could use the reminder. Hug someone that you know is on a fertility journey because they need to know that people are there for them, they are not alone, & that there are people out there  that truly care. I hope you guys liked this post & that you can share it with someone in your life who you think would enjoy it. Praying for all of my readers on their fertility journey & who have experienced loss. Know that I care about you even though I don’t always know what to say. Leave me a comment below, find me on Facebook, & chat with me on Instagram. xx

Read more about our fertility journey…

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I have PCOS, I am not PCOS [here]

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Thankful for loss [here].

All photos in the post by @RachLovesTroy

Fall Porch Preview & Some Fall Shoes

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I know some of you are still holding on to summer, but me, I’m looking forward to fall. My decor & my wardrobe have already been steadily changing into the fall transition. Even though it’s still warm here in eastern NC, I have been finding ways to add fall pieces daily. Whether it’s jeans, a cardigan, & even some fall shoes. I’ve also been lighting fall candles everyday, doing some fall DIY’s, & also pinning fall things daily too. Ok, maybe I’ve gone overboard, but I can’t help it! Here is some fall porch & fall look inspiration to start your week off. The full fall porch reveal is coming really soon so stay tuned for that. Be sure to share the fall things you have been up to in the comments below. Hopefully you make me feel a little more normal. 

Fall shoes, fall porch, pumpkins, mums, coffee, all things fall!
Fall shoes, fall porch, pumpkins, mums, coffee, all things fall!
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Fall shoes, fall porch, pumpkins, mums, coffee, all things fall! Fall shoes, fall porch, pumpkins, mums, coffee, all things fall!
Fall shoes, fall porch, pumpkins, mums, coffee, all things fall!
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Look one details: Flannel shirt- Marshalls Michael Kors Boots – Marshalls, Watch- Daniel Wellington, Gray shirt- Target. Photos by Heather Elizabeth Photography – a very lovely friend of mine who I love sharing creative afternoons with. If you are in the eastern North Carolina area you should check her out! Check her out on Facebook too! 

Fall shoes, fall porch, pumpkins, mums, coffee, all things fall!
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Look two details: Loafers- Marshalls, Pants- Target, Cardigan- H&M, Belt – H&M, Necklace- JaqJill {local boutique}. Thanks to my wonderful hubs for these photos during our porch hang out session today. & thank you to our amazing God for fall temperatures here in NC finally today.

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I’m loving this transition into fall & all the cozy goodness that comes with it. This might be weird, but dressing for fall really got me in the mood to decorate for fall & vice versa. I guess when I commit to fall I go all the way. Even Mr. LMB is starting to transition his wardrobe into fall & he’s been asking me to light the pumpkin scented candles too. Let me know what you think of my fall inspiration in the comments below & be sure to find me on Facebook & Instagram as well! xx

 

Check out more of my fall posts:

2014 Word Of The Year: Adapt

Before the end of 2013 I sat down & wrote out my new year goals {which you can read here}. Writing out my goals really made me focus on what I wanted to work on & better in 2014 for myself & my little family. I know some people do not like the idea of goals or putting so much pressure on yourself for the new year, but I love the time to reflect, asses, & make decisions on what to make better for the new year. I soak up this time & I love the feeling of a fresh start. While I was writing down my new year goals I also came up with a word to live by in 2014. As many of you know 2014 is going to be quite a crazy year for us & could go so many different ways. We are selling our current house, either renting or I am moving back to Michigan early with out Mr. LMB {depending on the time frame of the house selling}, he gets out of the military around November, & we make the big move back to Michigan & leave our life behind in North Carolina. & that’s not all. There are also medical things, family things, & more that I will be sharing too. So many changes that I need to learn to adapt. My 2014 word of the year is…

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Adapt
to big life changes, adapt to the small things, & adapt to everything in between. I struggle with always having a routine & not liking anything to mess with it. I like having my own space, making my own plans, & being in control of my surroundings. This year I need to let go & roll with the punches. I need to adapt. I need to trust Him & remodel my life as we roll with the changes. So not only will we be remodeling our Michigan home this year, but our lives too. That’s pretty fun huh? Stay tuned 😉 What’s your word of the year? Leave it in the comments below, & also if you blogged about it, leave the link below I would love to see it. Be sure to find me on Facebook & Instagram for more updates. xx

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Ps. I’m running a little sale on advertising this month to start the year off right & to support all of you who have a blog or business. I want to spread the word for you! Email me at lizmariegalvan@gmail.com to save your spot!

Happy New Year! New Year Goals 2014

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Well, if you haven’t heard it enough yet, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’m feeling very content tonight as I write this. Content in my heart, content in my mind, content with my body, & content with my life. But as the new year approaches I always get to thinking about my goals for the new year. & this years goals mean a little more to me. This year will change our lives forever. We will be getting out of the Marine Corps, moving to Michigan, & their are many important details missing like when we will move, how we will move, if our house will sell here in North Carolina fast or slow or ever, if we will rent here in NC, if we will get pregnant, if our house in Michigan will be livable before we move home,  so many “ifs” that if I start to panic it might get ugly. So I’m choosing to not say “what if” & I’m choosing to say “let’s do this”.  Let’s not worry, let’s be strong, let’s remain calm, & let’s leave it in the Lord’s hands. & tonight my heart feels so content knowing that He is in charge of my 2014. Even though I am content, I still have goals for myself & I wanted to share just a few of those with you.

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2014 New Year Goals:

>> be more organized. keep my calendar clean & up to date & stop procrastinating so much.

>> eat less gluten.

>> go to yoga at least once a week.

>> call my relatives & friends back home more.

>> cook more. eat out less.

>> paint more often.

>> read a few books & take more time off from the computer.

>> share more of my personal life on the blog.

>> keep a devotional journal.

>> take more walks.

>> blog more.

>> stress less & let things go.

>> paint one wall another color other than white.

>> swear less.

>> stay on top of emails.

>> drink more water daily.

>> make our Michigan house our new home.

>> sketch more often.

>> stop being afraid to learn new things.

>> start offering design services of some kind.

>> stop being so hard on myself.

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Wow. I could keep going. It’s so fun to write out my goals & really think about each one to see how I can accomplish all of them in the next year. I actually wrote all of my goals in my calendar so that I would see them throughout the year & not forget them. Do you set goals for the new year? What is your biggest one you want to accomplish? Leave me a comment below, find me on facebook, or chat with me on Instagram! Happy New Years Friends! xx

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Ps. THANK you for following my little blog in 2013 & for all your love you always show me. To see my Thank-you post to you & to see the highlights from 2013 click {here}.

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Our Love Story In 20 Bullet Points

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Recently I realized that I had never shared our photos that we had done last fall by Rach Lea Photography. I still wanted to share them. Better late than never right? I also thought it would be fun to sum up our love story in 20 bullet points, not sure if that’s possible, but let’s try this…

1. We met in high school. He was 17, I was 16. He was a senior & I was a junior.

2. We went to different schools. He went to the public school & I went to the private school.

3. We met in a mutual friends basement. That mutual friend takes all the credit for us meeting. & we are so happy & thankful he had both of us over that day! One of the first things he said to me was that my socks didn’t match. It was fate. & my socks rarely match still to this day. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

4. Our first real date was to a coffee shop & we talked for hours. He told me on the way home from that date that he could see me in his future. I didn’t know why he liked me, but I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

5. We dated all through high school. He was the baseball player & I was the cheerleader.

6. Jose went off to the military when I was a senior in high school. That was a lot for an emotional teenager to handle. I would doodle love song lyrics during class & send them in the mail to him.

6. The night before he left he gave me a blanket off his bed because it smelled like him. I still have that blanket. & while he was gone he wrote me a letter every Sunday & I wrote him everyday. I still have those letters.

7. When he got home from bootcamp he gave me a promise ring while we were going through a carwash. Going through a carwash has never been the same since.

8. He was only home for a few weeks before he had to leave again & go live in Florida A school. Michigan & Florida have never seemed so far apart.

9. While he was in Florida I worked 2 jobs to put myself through college & to keep myself busy & my mind off missing him.

10. To “hang out” with each other we used to watch tv shows together over skype. Our favorite was Lost. We would fall asleep on skype together often & it kinda sorta made it feel like he wasn’t so far away.

11. Fast forward to when he moved to North Carolina & was stationed there when I was 19 years old. He came home on leave in July & on July 4th 2007 he asked me to be Mrs. Galvan under the fireworks on Lake Michigan. I have never been more happy to say Yes in my life.

12. 3 months later on September 28th, 2007 on my mom’s birthday, we were under a gazeebo on a beautiful golf course saying our vows in front of close family & friends, our pastor, & the Lord. He was in his dress blues & I was in a pretty white dress.

13. The day after we got married I packed up all my belongings & we traveled from Michigan to North Carolina. Our honeymoon was traveling to our new home & we couldn’t have been more content and happy.

14. Our first home was a brand new town home & we loved that little house & had some great memories in that home like getting our baby shitzu, Bella, who is now 6 years old.

15. Right when we moved to NC I quickly became accustomed to being a marine wife. He was deploying, working long hours, flying across country, & him being home with me was such a treat. We cherished every second. & I’m thankful for those days because have made me love every second with him & never take it for granted.

16. While on his second deployment over seas we decided that I would move out of our town-home & go home to Michigan for a few months while we had a house built in NC for us. While I was home I got a job to keep myself busy & I got to spend lots of time with family and friends. We only got to talk on the phone once in a while & all of our communication was through email.

17. In June of that year {3 years ago} Jose returned from his deployment {watch the video here} to a newly built home which we still live in today. This house has been so good to us & we have so many great memories in it. Like all the times we have had family & friends come stay with us, Bella giving birth to 6 puppies {one of those was Bear}, & just all the time we got together in this home. There have been some very big lows as well. Losing his dad to cancer, losing two babies before we got to meet them {read about our first loss here}, & saying goodbye to friends who have moved away, but these things have thankfully only made us stronger than I ever thought we could be, closer than we ever dreamed possible, & happier with our many blessings in life.

18. Shortly after Jose returned from his second deployment he got a teaching job on base. It was a life changer. No more long hours, no more leaving. We were so relieved & happy. He is still at that job & I feel so blessed how relaxed our lives are with an amazing schedule & no stress. To this day I am so thankful for the time we get with each other everyday.

19. Currently we are both in school,we are DIY’ing something daily, We are getting our house ready to put on the market, currently getting ready to start our countdown to getting out of the military in a year & moving back to Michigan, & currently enjoying all our time together. Road trips, coffee shop dates, movie nights, & learning more & more about each other everyday. We love  our life.

20. 10 years together {a whole DECADE!} & 6 years of marriage. We couldn’t do any of it with out having God number one in our marriage. I know our happiness, joy, & pure love for each other is a gift from God. Blessed & thankful. To God be the Glory! God is good!!

That was our love story in 20 bullet points. Didn’t think that was possible, but in short that is the past 10 years with the amazing man I get to call my husband. Of course I left out some important moments & other exciting things. But that can come in another post right? I won’t bore you with all the photos because again, ain’t nobody got time for that. So, here are a few favorites…

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Life Through Instagram- Updates on me, Liz Marie

I realized today that not all of my followers have Instagram & not everyone who has it follows me. Instagram is one of my favorite ways of updating social media on my life, projects, thrifty finds, and of course the occasional puppy photos. Who doesn’t love cute pictures of fluffy puppies to brighten their day? Anyways, I had the idea to share my life through Instagram here on the blog once in a while to keep everyone up to date. & of course I won’t bore you by showing you every Instagram photo so if you want to see everything you can follow me over on Instagram @lizmariegalvan.

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The hubs and I finished our back patio makeover & we are so thrilled! It was a lot of hard work in this humid hot weather here in North Carolina {wait until you see the “before” photo.. it’s embarrassing to say the least} & the reveal will be coming soon. Can’t wait to show you.

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Jose had a little helper while taking some photos of our back patio 😉


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We bought a church pew! We did not realize it was over 11 feet long until we went to pick it up, so yes, that is Jose laying on top of it in the jeep while I was driving. Funniest furniture pick up EVER. Right now it’s on our front porch. No plans for it yet, so there it sits!

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My Ebay deer head purchase ended up on the wall in our front guest bedroom. He looks a little different since this photo was taken, but I’m kind of in love with him. I named him Buck. I know, very original.

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I thrifted a wicker chair for our living room, she needs a little work, but I’m kind of loving her in that new spot! Blog post on her coming soon. & yes, she’s a girl.

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 went home to Michigan a few weeks ago & met my nephew for the first time. He has stolen a piece of my heart & I love him so much it hurts. Being away from him stinks. But being an aunty is amazing!!

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I’ve been having some pretty good times with friends the past few weeks & I have been crafting as usual. I made some canvas covers for some ugly flower pots out of scraps and twine. More on that her on the blog later.

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Bella & Bear got groomed. They are looking & feeling fresh for the hot NC summer. I have yet to get a picture of Bears new doo, but let’s just say he has a mowhawk. A shitzu with a mow-hawk? does it get any cooler? Nope.

 

So there you have it, a sum of my life the past few weeks in Instagram photos. Be sure to head on over to Instagram & follow along. I hope you guys are having a great weekend so far & I have a fun new series all about Etsy tips & tricks starting on Monday, so stay tuned for that. I have an Etsy shop owner who will be spilling her inside info on how to run an amazing shop on Etsy. Talk to you then!

Michigan House Updates – June 2013

As many of you know I took a trip home to Michigan a few weeks ago to meet my new nephew. You can see the glider that I painted for him {here}. While I was home I stopped in our house {You can see the full post on our home in Michigan here} to see the progress that has been done since we were home during Christmas time. I was sad that I didn’t have time to do any work while I was home or really spend a lot of time there for that matter, but thankfully we have amazing people in our lives that have been working on the house & doing lots of dirty work like drywall, fixing ceilings, & painting just to name a few things. Things are still being ripped out and torn up, but it’s still exciting to us to see it all unfold before our eyes & I have a vision as to what it will look like when we move home next year & I’m getting so excited!

The kitchen before:

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Progress:

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Yup, that’s the kitchen. Or what used to be.

What has been done:

-cabinets ripped out

-flooring ripped out

-ceiling repaired

-all walls primed for paint

-wired for a light fixture over sink

What needs to be done? The list is too long for that post… more updates on that coming soon!

 

The dining room before:

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Progress:

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What has been done:

– light fixture removed

– ceiling damaged fixed

-cut out in wall looking onto the lower level drywalled. Bye Bye jail!

-flooring ripped out

-walls all primed

-All trim removed.. bye dark wood trim!

 

View to the upstairs before:

 

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Progress:

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W
hat has been done:

-door trim and floor trim removed

-railings removed

-walls primed

-drywall repaired

 

Upstairs bathroom before:

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Progress:

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What has been done:

-cabinets ripped out

-toilet ripped out

-flooring gone.

-trim gone

-primed for paint

Stairs down to the bottom level {Not the basement}:

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Progress:
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W
hat has been done:

-flooring ripped out

-primed

That wasn’t the whole house, but the other 3 bedrooms, the basement, & the upstairs living room still kind of look the same minus some new primer on the walls &  I failed to get great pictures of all those spaces. So maybe that wasn’t the most exciting post about the house, but it’s so fun to see progress & see our visions coming to life. Next step is all new windows and doors in the house. New windows and doors are going to make a huge difference not only on the look of the home, but also the energy efficiency of the house as well. After that new flooring, a whole new kitchen, new ceiling on the bottom level, and finishing the basement are the main things we want to have done by the time we move home next year. After that, it will be our home & you know there will be a million DIY projects in that house until we move on 😉 I hope you are all having a great week & to all of my American readers, Happy 4th of July!!!

Our First Child

One hot summer day in 2012  I woke up from a dream about wasps chasing me. Scariest dream ever. I never dream. I decided that it was strange that I had this nightmare so I went into the bathroom & took a pregnancy test. I set it on the counter & jumped in the shower. When I came out I looked on the counter & my jaw fell to the floor. There were two pink lines. The joy that filled my heart, the smile that wouldn’t leave my face, I will never forget that moment. That feeling. I was a momma. Jose was gone at work & I couldn’t tell him that he was a dad over the phone. So I sat on the couch in my towel. With my hair soaking wet. Holding the pregnancy test & just smiling. I couldn’t possibly function because I was in shock. He came home at lunch time and I immediately started crying while pointing at the test, he instantly had tears & just held me. We were parents.

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I already loved that baby more than I could ever tell someone. I never knew the connection I would feel with a life that was only 5 weeks old inside of me. I instantly wanted to be a better person, the best mom in the world, & I started imagining my life with this blessing that God had placed inside of me. For a few weeks I was in a strange disbelief & things that used to matter didn’t matter anymore because I was carrying a tiny human inside of me & my heart was full joy.

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8 weeks

I never knew that at 9 weeks I would encounter another nightmare. The life that was growing healthy inside of me died. And so did a piece of me. I can never describe that feeling of waking up in the morning after losing my baby the night before. For a split second I wanted to believe it wasn’t real, that it was like the wasp dream that I had & our child was okay inside of me. The days following my miscarriage were nothing short of traumatic. The world was a blur. Sounds, smells, sites, and feelings were not the same & there was never a moment that at a drop of a hat I wouldn’t start uncontrollably crying. I felt like I would never feel the same, and in some ways things never went back to the way they were before our first child. A part of me left, a part of me died, but as a whole I grew stronger. Through losing our first baby I have never been closer to God or my husband. & for that I am grateful.

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There is not a week that goes by that I don’t think of our baby & what milestone that we would be at. Today our sweet baby would be 2 months old. I am forever grateful for all of the amazing support we receive from family & friends, the change in me, the relationship I now have with God, & oddly enough for those few weeks of pure joy & that closeness I felt with our child. Knowing I will someday be reunited with that sweet innocent baby in Heaven brings tears to my eyes even as I type this. Since August I have not gone public with our miscarriage, & have remained silent & only discussed my feelings with God & family, not wanting to be vulnerable or put my feelings in writing. Lately I have felt this overwhelming wave of peace that I couldn’t keep to myself. Peace in knowing that this is all part of my plan. Peace in knowing that there are beautiful moments to come. Peace in knowing that we are blessed. Peace in knowing that God is in control. Peace I can’t keep to myself. Every day I get better and better. Stronger & stronger. I am so thankful that my heart has been healing and that the Lord has given me peace & understanding. I will forever remember that day in August when we had to say goodbye & my birthday in March that was the due date of our sweet angel, but among those hard days are many more good days. & of course on this Mothers day where I would have been celebrating with my little bundle of joy I am blessed that my husband made this day extra special for me,  that church eased my heart, & family & friends sent there love. Just little reminders that everything is going to be okay.

Dear sweet baby, I love you so much. My heart hurts because I never got to hold you or be your mommy very long here on earth, but one day your daddy & I will see you again & until then I will be strong knowing that you are happy & healthy where you are. I love you baby more than I can ever say. Love always, your mommy. 

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Bracelet: All My Heart Shop

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Source.

A Visit From My Kentucky Love

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You may have missed it last week on my Facebook page or my Instagram, but one of my best friends {You can read more about her HERE} came to visit us from Kentucky here in NC with her beautiful daughter. Rachael moved away from NC in December to Kentucky when her husband got out of the Marine Corps & ever since I feel like a piece of went with her. It was so nice to have her back in town if only just for a few days. It honestly felt like she had never left. We went to the beach a few times, & just hung out being normal drinking coffee, going to Target, sitting on the couch talking, it was just nice. I know that she is one of those friends that will forever be in my life no matter what & no matter where we both live we will always have these visits, & like always thank goodness for Skype & phones!!

A New Look… Again?

Just like my ever evolving home decor in my house, my blog has been changing a lot lately too. I am a very creative soul who is constantly trying to find myself with a million ideas running through my mind. This can be good & bad. It’s great when I can get my thoughts in a row and execute what my ideas are, it’s bad when my mind keeps changing. I can’t say this enough, I think I say this at least once a day to others: “It’s hard to design your own space.” It’s easy to tell others how their spaces should look, but when it comes to your own space it’s hard to make decisions & even harder to not keep changing your mind. That’s true for my blog as well. My blog is my creative outlet where I show a glimpse of my creative side. I want it to reflect me, but also not be overpowering so that it overpowers my posts. Not too much to ask right?  My wonderful friend Nina of Nina Randone Graphic Design helped me out so much by designing this wonderful new blog look for me.

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The process was quick and painless. She is very experienced in branding for both large & small companies & I felt at ease giving her this huge responsibility in making my blog something I loved. That’s my number one tip for finding a designer for your blog: Find someone you are comfortable with & that you believe fully grasps or has your style that you are looking for. My first step with Nina was creating a Pinterest board where we both pinned ideas that inspired the design for my blog. She then created a mood board for me with the pins in mind to truly get the direction that we were going to take in the blog design. I think it’s a genius idea that she looked into some of my favorite designs, fashion trends, home decor favorites, & more to see the direction we should take with the blog.

LizMarieBlog_Identity2013After we had pinned for a few days and discussed ideas over email, she sent me a few proofs for the blog. I WAS IN LOVE. It was almost like she had read my mind. She created a design that was warm and inviting, & also showed a part of my creative mind. I’m so thankful for the new blog design {& the new Facebook design, head on over & take a look!} What do you guys think about the new look? I would love to hear from you. & be sure to head on over to Nina’s facebook page  & tell her what you think of the new look. Talk to you soon!

25 On The 25th For 25

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It’s March 25th, 2013 & I turn 25 today.  I thought I would share 25 things
that you may not know about me. 25 seems like a big milestone. I can remember being
told for the first time what a “Golden Birthday” was when I was younger & imagining what
I would be doing on my golden birthday when I turned 25. I pictured a sparkly grown up
party where everyone was wearing ball gowns & my prince charming was loading all
of my gifts into our shiny new car. All while my friends & I danced the night
away in our fancy dresses. Now that I’m 25 I can top that. Of course my Golden
Birthday falls on a monday {Who does that?} so, no shiny grown up party or ball gowns.
I have class & some work things, but after that I get to spend my birthday with my
handsome marine. I couldn’t think of anything better. Next week we are taking a week
long trip to South Carolina to see my brother in law, visit some friends, & Mr. LMB has a
few baseball games there as well. So that will be my birthday trip & I’m getting really excited to
get away for a week of fun, antiquing, shopping, relaxing & hanging out with my best friend.
Twenty five is already off to a great start so far & I’m looking forward to seeing what this year has to
offer me as a girl with big dreams, hopes & who is now a quarter of a century old.
{That sounds really bad when you put it that way, so let’s never do that again. mkay}

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1. >> I am from Michigan, but I live in North Carolina
2. >> Jesus is my Lord & Savior.
3. >> I am a mother to one baby in heaven & two fur babies on earth.
4. >> I’m obsessed with my shitzus Bear & Bella. Bella is Bears mom.
5. >> Cherry coke is my weakness. From Target preferably.
6. >>We are moving home in a year to MI to live in a house my husband grew up in.
7.>> I went to a private school my whole life.
8.>> I was a cheerleader & ran cross country & track.
9.>> I am scared of heights. Like, really scared.
10.>> I used to make beauty videos on Youtube about makeup & pretty things.
11.>> I love road trips, cuddling, & shopping.
12.>> I love every genre of music & I play it all way too loud in my car.
13.>> I am passionate about interior design & blogging
14.>> I am 5’2″ & wear size 5 1/2 shoes. I love being short & having small feet.
15.>> I’m addicted to Instagram , facebook, & Pinterest.
16.>> My husband is my best friend. We met 10 years ago & have been married going on 6.
17.>> I was going to school for business management before Interior design.
18.>> I collect mason jars, anything deer antlers, quilts, & moments
19.>> My favorite season is fall. I’m not a fan of being hot.
20.>> I can’t function in the morning with out coffee.
21.>> I get my hair cut only twice a year.
22.>> I find painting furniture to be really peaceful & relaxing.
23.>> I don’t go a day with out wearing perfume.
24.>> I talk on the phone with my mom everyday {usually my dad too 🙂 }
25.>> My goal everyday is to create beautiful things & to make others smile.

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Thank you to all of you who have already wished me a happy birthday here
on the blog, via email, Instagram, facebook, texts, & phone calls.
I feel loved today & I hope all of you do too!