I know. If you guys don’t follow me on Instagram or Facebook, this might shock you. Like a lot. A few weeks ago I was done. I realized my anxiety and depression had really seeped into every facet of my life. I don’t talk about it a lot on here, but I’ve always been an anxious person… I didn’t realize this until a few years ago, but it’s always been there. Social situations, everyday activities, every day. Anxious thoughts, scared, and most of the time it makes it harder for me to do things, but I dealt with it & my creativity blossomed I believe because of it. Throughout our fertility journey that’s when my anxiety allowed depression to sneak in & I didn’t notice until I hit a really big low. After 7 years of infertility & 7 babies lost it was bound to happen. I will talk more about that later in a fuller fertility update and where we are at, but for now… it’s weird and hard to admit it, but I suffer some pretty big lows & I’ve noticed that it snuck into many areas of my life, even our decor, & I was done with it.
One day Jose and I went into Pottery Barn & I spotted this peachy velvet pillow with a floral pattern on it & it lit something inside of me that I hadn’t felt in a while… inspiration. I was feeling inspired & it made me full of joy. So I went crazy gathering up velvet pillows, vases, candles, & finally I picked up the curtains I had been eyeing for a very long time. It was all to bring life to our front living room. I was so excited to get home and put it all in the space that we got home at 9 at night & sat ripping open packages & tearing the room apart to put all the new items in the space… it was the BEST therapy that I’ve ever had. It’s the thing that I love & the thing that I wasn’t feeling inspired to do for so long because of the low I had been in. If you have ever experienced a low often times you don’t see the low that you were in until you are coming out of it.
It’s hard to explain, but I think in my depression & anxiety I had stripped away everything in my life & the color out of our house. I’m not saying that white decor isn’t something that I love or want to keep in our house because let’s face it I’m sure white decor will always be a first love, but with pops of life like blues, greens, & other lovely colors that I love. When I was depressed there was no desire to experiment or to add in anything new or fresh. It’s hard to find motivation or inspiration when you are in in a low, but I highly suggest finding things that spark inspiration so that you can do that at your lowest moments to lift your spirits. It’s easier said than done, but totally possible. I don’t always go into Pottery Barn and spend money to feel inspired, but this time that one pillow got me in a lot of trouble, but made our front living room a happy place to be.
Now, for a weird twist of events. We are working on our back guest bedroom in our home & I’m debating on putting these curtains & pillows in that room in the back of the house. Or maybe I’ll keep them here. Or maybe I’ll move them to the guest bedroom & then move them back here. Who knows. I know, I know, I’m always changing things… but one thing I don’t change is always changing something.. so that counts for something right? no? Ok. Well, it’s all up here for now and I love it. I’ll update you all later if we decide to switch anything. I can’t help when I’m hit by the inspiration bug & I feel inspired to do all of this [including more from this room] in the guest bedroom. I hope you guys like these new pops of color in our front living room & I hope you understand some of my jumbled thoughts on all of my feelings and inspiration lately. Thank you guys so much for stopping by the blog today & for supporting me in my highs and my lows. xx
Shop this post with my affiliate links below: