I wanted to quick pop in today to share some real & raw feelings I’m having lately. This isn’t anything deep about our fertility journey, while it may have something to do with that. Who knows. I’m here to tell you I’m feeling a little burned out & I think it’s driving me to feel uninspired and unsure where to go in our home & other parts of our life. It has me questioning every decision I’m making in our renovation process & quite frankly it’s making me angry. As an interior designer & someone who is so passionate about design & decor, it makes me feel stuck & I need to get out of this slump. In turn I feel like everything I’m doing at our house & shop isn’t my best work which really has me down. You see, between the shop [The Found Cottage], the farm, family, friends, work, and living in a fixer upper that doesn’t even have a kitchen… I’m spread a little thin. This doesn’t even include how my health is going, feeling horrible for people around me going through awful things, & some things just going all wrong… but I think that’s just the life of a sensitive person like myself… always carrying the burdens of others who cries while watching the news. I’m the creative messy type that doesn’t plan ahead & is always running a little late & with all that I’m anxious & deal a lot with depression. Sometimes all of that is a recipe for disaster that leaves me burned out if I don’t rest. As I get older I know when I need a break. A moment to breathe. & a moment to recharge before I really hit rock bottom, but sometimes in life you can’t take a moment & that’s what I wanted to share with you guys today.
I talked a little bit about how we stained our floors this week & then on Instagram I kind of went into detail about how I was unsure of them. You see, I don’t do well with change. I’m learning that as I get older that I struggle with change & maybe that has something to do with constantly being on social media & having too much thrown in our faces everyday? But I think change is worse when you are in a burnout & you have so many tabs open in your mind that you can’t process the change properly. I promise I’m making a point. I wanted to come on here today & share with you guys a house update that’s pretty big & has also been adding a lot of stress to me, but I wanted to first come on here and get real with you because it’s important. I’ll blog the big change tomorrow for you. I wanted to get real first because I have people come in our shop daily & tell me that they can’t believe I can manage it all & live in a fixer upper & that we are always so busy… the truth is.. I can’t. We all need a break, we all need a time out.. & by golly we all need a kitchen! I never want you guys to think that we have our lives together over here more than anyone else or that we are experts & can somehow magically live a perfectly organized & clean life while every room is unfinished in our home, we co-own a shop, blog daily, run a small farm, & travel on this fertility journey that we are on. Well, basically I came here to say that I’m feeling uninspired but we have something very big coming up that we have to make some progress on the house for. So even though I’m feeling burned out I have to keep on going.. at least until this exciting thing [that I can hopefully share soon] is over & then I would love to do something fun like paint furniture for a week straight, go picking, make pretty things, & most importantly take time to make decisions in our home renovation that aren’t rushed.
The point of this blog post? To say thank you first for always cheering us on & for helping us on this fixer upper journey by sharing your wisdom, nights, & opinions with us along the way. Like this week when I have been questioning our flooring color choice on Instagram.. thank you! I’m so lucky to have you guys & I will never ever take that for granted. The second thing is to ask your opinions and insights on sealing our floors. We want a matte [toned down] look to the pine flooring [we welcome dents, traffic patterns, & ware over time. That is one of the reasons we chose a soft wood like pine]. A tinted oil? Dark wax? Wax? Matte Poly? Something else.. let me know in the comments below! The third thing is to remind you that no one has it together. I hear it a lot that we make this process look easy… just a heads up, I NEVER like to ask anyone to help us, but here is a secret: My mom had to come clean my closet this week because it had gotten so bad. I don’t have it all together, I get burned out, I’m indecisive, I doubt my decisions, I’m sensitive, I’m a procrastinator, I’m messy, I’m all the things… you are not alone. Ok, I had to get that off my chest. I hope this post made some sense & kind of made you feel like you aren’t alone. We all go through “the burn out” & we can all get out of it. The good news? We should have a kitchen by Thanksgiving, we have something exciting that I will share with you next week hopefully, the shop is doing amazing, the farm is good, & as always.. God is good. Life is good guys even in the burn outs! Thank you so much for stopping by the blog today & I love you mucho! xx