Well, this whole blogging thing makes you kind of vulnerable doesn’t it? Sometimes I remember people sometimes stop by Liz Marie Blog & that it’s not just my mom and I sitting here talking home decor & DIY. I all the sudden will be like “oh, so & so from high school might be reading this” and then all the sudden I feel naked and weird & quickly push the thought out of my head of how vulnerable that really makes me feel. I share about our miscarriages, our infertility, our DIY trial & errors, but today I’m going into it knowing this is me coming to you being extra vulnerable & I’m going to try to not be embarrassed because I know I’m not alone & that we have all been here, well sort of here, just in different places. You get the point.
Enough is enough. That’s what I said to myself today as I was walking out of the doctors office after a week of terrible pain that I kept shrugging off. That’s what I said after I was given the diagnosis I never thought I would get. That’s what I said when the doctor told me I had shingles brought on by my stress and anxiety. That’s what I said when I saw the scale say I gained 30 pounds in the past year. Enough is enough. With My PCOS diagnosis five years ago I am already gluten free, but I have completely let my health go in every other way. Very minimal excercising besides being super busy all of the time, eating out more than the average person, & just not caring what I put in or on my body. It doesn’t help that I was taking all of my vitamins and being diligent about certain other parts of my health because if it’s not all in a sequence together that stuff kind of just goes to the waste side. I was eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I had no control over my diet or my excersize. I mean, potentially I did, but I didn’t take those potential opportunities. I put it off, I indulged, I didn’t give one care when I noticed my pants were getting a little tighter & my health started declining. I guess depression will do that to you. I was the girl who didn’t weigh 100 pounds until after I was married & could eat anything I wanted & still have a six pack.. annoying I know. I’ve struggled with anxiety since I can remember my first memory. I didn’t know how to voice it & I probably thought everyone felt the way I did, but I wish I could tell that little girl that it will all be ok, that I need to start practicing ways to settle my anxiety, & that I need to voice how I feel to someone. That’s another story. But here I am. Just turned 30, 30 pounds heavier, & so unhealthy that in the past few months I’ve been diagnosed with two things caused by stress and anxiety. Two doctors have looked me in the eye and said “You need to cut the stress because you are hurting yourself” Easier said than done. I kept having a poor sleep schedule, kept my poor diet, & here I am with my poor health in pain from this new found outbreak on my body.
Getting diagnosed with the shingles was a huge wakeup call you guys. A huge one. I’m unhealthy & overstressed which caused this outbreak. If you’ve never had shingles, they are so painful, so this is a painful reminder every second that I need to take my health back. So where does that bring me with our fertility? A road block of sorts. Or is it a new beginning? Let’s be positive and say that it’s a new beginning. A new lease on life some would say. I will get into this part more later, but when people keep telling me “just take the leap” in one direction or the other… I can’t move. I’m stuck. I’m at a standstill. & I didn’t know why until this week. I’m stuck because I don’t want to take the leap until I’m healthy. I don’t want to take the leap in this condition. With all of my stress, anxiety, & unhealthiness. I want to take the leap when I can be that person I want to be for that little one. The number one thing in dealing with infertility is taking control of your health & being the best you you can possibly be. & I wasn’t doing that at all. I mean, we didn’t have a kitchen for 9 months so there is that little issue we had, I have PCOS which makes it a little easier to gain weight, but none of these things should be excuses.. I just need to work harder. Make better decisions, & take my fertility back in my control again… well, as much as I can. No excuses. I will be sharing more of this journey with you after some radio silence lately about our fertility journey. I guess I was blocking this out & thinking if I didn’t talk about it that there wasn’t a problem.. the scale & rash doesn’t lie my friends… I’m not healthy & I’m not being the best I can be for our future kids. Well, this feels like I’m standing naked in front of a crowd now after saying all of that. Just naked and baring it all telling you that I have gained that much weight & failed at this part of our fertility journey. But I hope in some way it inspires you to make some health changes or keep your good health up if you are there… I never thought the shingles or anything like that could happen to me, but it did. Take care of yourself my friends & just know that if you are struggling like I am right now… you are not alone. Thank you so much for stopping by the blog today and everyday to see what we are up to.. it means the world! xx
Hey! Take it easy on yourself!! Remember, our father, the Lord made you! He wants you to feel victorious not overwhelmed and stressed out. He showed us how to live when he walked on this earth. We need to be the same ..You poor thing, you are beating yourself up, love yourself and enjoy your life. You inspire so many people, and we all love you. You are in my prayers always ????
Lovely, beautiful you, firstly please don’t feel like you have failed and beat yourself up about that, it’s a little kink on your path you are walking on at this moment in your life, and you will come to the Crossways and take a different path it’s what happens – please remind yourself every day, every single day of the good you do for yourself and others, because you reach out to many. And finally BE KIND TO YOURSELF – we forget to do that – you are a beautiful soul Liz, it’s very apparent and you are going to be just fine with a little bit of time xxxx
I love you my friend. Keep your chin up, you’ve got bright days ahead! Thank you for opening your heart to us! xo
I’ve had shingles, and the rash and pain is ridiculous. You can’t take pain relievers because they don’t work. Just know, it goes away, and you’ll get your life back in order (as much as it can). Baby steps…..
Liz, thanks for the reminder to take care of ourselves. I’ve been heading to bed late then sleeping longer, rushing out the door with no breakfast, sometimes skipping lunch because work is more important ! . Duh .. I realized a pair of pants were way to big for me this week.. not good :/.
We all have unusual journeys and this is just a bump or two on your path.
Take care
Oh hun I understand your struggles. I to have gone through similar things and have felt pain and anxiety till I couldn’t bare it anymore. It took me time and I am still working on it but what helped me was starting to spend more time in the word and with the Lord. I listen to my bible mostly using the daily audio bible app. As well as do the first 5 daily devotions app. I have felt so much better since doing that. I also stopped doing a lot of things and made more of a effort to just be still which is very hard for me and I am sure it is for you to I can tell just based on how often you change your house and all the little animals you have to take care of. Your home is beautiful though! ? After a few months of this I was finally able to have enough energy and to have more of a desire to get healthy and fit. I pray things will get better for you. I’m so sorry your hurting so much!?
Yes. And yes. I get stress induced shingles on top of all my other health problems and it’s awful. The worst part is if you can get them again if you become stressed. Although now I’ve noticed a few hints that they’re coming…..when I see those I’ll rest for half a day and I don’t have a flare up. I hope you find peace in your new path to health friend.
Don’t be so hard on your self, you are beautiful on the inside and outside. Trying to live a healthy lifestyle isn’t always that easy for some people (I to am not where I wish to be too). If it was so easy everyone would have the perfect bill of health. Don’t let the scale bring you down, it is just a number. I to know how hard looking at the scale can be girl. Instead stay positive and take it day by day.
Liz, I know all too well what you’re going through. I’m 30, have an autoimmune disease, am battling infertility, and recently had shingles… and the worst part is that it was on my face! If that isn’t a sign from God telling me to chill out already, I don’t know what is! If you can, go find a good accupunturist immediately. I went to 3 sessions after being diagnosed (and took Chinese herbs) and it made a world of difference. I’m not a woo-woo kind of person, but I truly believe that that is what allowed me to heal so quickly! Also, get some manuka honey to put directly on the rash. Good luck, sweet girl!
So sorry you have shingles..I’ve heard they’re very painful. Never knew stress could cause this.
The world need mores people like you that are willing to be vulnerable!! Willing to share the parts of our lives that are not pretty! There is too much comparison out there to look like and be like the perfect person because “so-and-so” is doinging it, why can’t I? But that’s not true! They aren’t perfect, they don’t have it all figured out and we need more people showing us their “naked feelings”! So thank you!
On another note. I am sure you have received 1 million comments of advise from all of your well meaning followers, but can I please recommend something for you to look into?! Have you heard of the Trim Healthy Mama way of eating. They have 1,000s of success stories of people with PCOS infertility having babies! It’s not a quick easy fix diet but it works! It does take some time and planning to eat like it but it’s totally doable! Lots of resources and people to follow. Just go look up all the success stories! Many times we have to hit rock bottom to truely have the motivation to take whatever action we need to fix whatever is wrong, hoping this just fuels you to take action. I have loved following you on Instagram for a while now and appeciate your honesty! God Bless! – From a fellow infirtility (for different reasons) girl.
I can imagine how vulnerable you always feel sharing so much of your life, the beautiful and the hard! But that is the exact reason you are so brave, you share it in spite of the discomfort! I always appreciate your raw honesty. You have been through such a very long and hard journey, with all the infertility, I can relate to getting to a certain point where you just want to stop worrying about being your healthiest self, pursuing all the health things and just having a season of “screw it! I just want to live my life and enjoy it!” for a while. I have been in that season for a while. It is quite a heavy burden you have been carrying! So, I hope you go easy on yourself but I also admire you for trying to step it up and be your best self as well! I hope and pray you feel better soon and can find that balance you need in your life!
Sending love. You’re brave for sharing. I’ve beeen there. I struggle with health and taking care of myself all the time. I struggle with anxiety as well. Gaining weight can be a cover up and avoidance of emotions and that sounds exactly what an happening with you. Dealing with the emotions head on will make it easier to take care of yourself and your health in the long run.
My dear Liz Marie! Always be kind to yourself. There are no failures in this life, it’s about growing and learning. You are beautifully made, beautifully perfect. Remember who you are within this journey and love Liz Marie first and foremost. Love and prayers!
You are so brave for sharing Your story. You are a beautiful soul. Deep breaths and trust God has your back, and you are not alone. Prayers your way.
Love your brutal honesty and openness! For the shingles, try Olive Oil Extract. Works very well for shingles and it is rarely heard of. Such a shame since it is a really great herb!
I’m so sorry Liz. I know that stress. I know what that constant anxiety feels like. I know what PCOS feels like. I know what delayed periods and crawling skin and feeling like someone put rootbeer in my veins feels like. I also know what that hard wake up feels like. That hard reality that no one but myself is going to be the catalyst for change and how hard it was to become that person. But, I also know what healing feels like. Your “that’s enough” attitude is exactly where I was at at 28. It’s now 11 years later and the road to 39 was not an easy one but with every mile I am healthier and I am happier. I have faith that there is hope for your struggles because I’ve been there. I wish you all the love and support for your change and your journey and the grace to overcome the pitfalls on your way. ❤️
Oh Liz I Shingles are the worst! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please just keep your faith and I know the Lord will bless you with the family you long for. For now take care of that adorable fur baby Winnie and the rest of your furry family. You’re in my prayers.
Hi Liz, so sorry for all that you’re dealing with. I am a highly anxious person as well, and take on the stress of my kids and their problems. I have had shingles and I took olive leaf extract internally and put absorbine jr. on to help dry it up. I also got some moleskin and put it on over the rash so my clothes wouldn’t rub against it. It was the most painful thing I have ever had in my life! Prayers for you!
Thank You so much for your honesty, Its quite brave of you to allow yourself to be so vulnerable. I’ve followed you for awhile now and am always amazed at your views for such a young woman. I have a daughter your age who was in an auto accident years ago. While recovering she would get down and focus on the pain or defeats. I reminded her that this was a very short time in her life that would pass. She told me years later how those words helped so much. I hope they will help you also. Try not to beat yourself up so much. The Lord is your strength and shield and he is already walking this path with you. I’ve also learned the hardest times in life sometimes brought me the biggest blessings.
I’m sorry for what you are going through. ?
We are all in your corner rooting for you. You go girl! God bless.
You are a beautiful child of God…don’t let the scale tell you otherwise! You look gorgeous in the photos you post. I hope you feel better soon..inside and out. Take care of you! ((((( hugs))))))
Here is to new beginnings! Your public journey will inspire so many. You will have ups and downs, but the Lord is walking with you through them all. Praying for you because the Lord can go where we can’t. May you feel encouraged today.
You are not alone Liz! It’s hitting all of us in different ways. My friends and I are approaching 30 and are all having our own health crises and issues. I had a health wake up call on my honeymoon when it got so bad I couldn’t even enjoy myself on my honeymoon. I can only imagine the stress and pressure you feel and offer what I did to help myself in my own ways. I’ve been eating the whole30 diet and exercising a few days a week. I have my health back. I also cut the coffee. I know that’s the last thing you want to hear as a fellow coffee lover but it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made for not only my physical but my mental health. Coffee was the secret evil thing all of these years for me! Coffee used to give me stress blackouts but I never even considered cutting it before now! I’ve switched to matcha and tea and I’ll probably never go back .. only once in a while. Your energy evens out and it’s do able .. the first day is rough but you adjust. The funny part is when life gets crazy we forget ourselves and our well being and then eventually ourselves and our well being stop us in our tracks! You have so much going on you deserve a break. Best of luck girl you can do this. Out of everything you matter most of all! Xx
Hi pretty lady! I am sorry for what you are going through but I know there is light at the end of he tunnel!! My sister in law has very similar health issues and she really started taking care of her her health. I’m not saying it will work for you..because everyone has to find their fitness and health routines that they love, because if you don’t love it then it won’t work..she used CrossFit & the Paleo Diet., got rid of some stresses in her life..And I’m proud to announce I will be an Aunt! Blessings & well wishes to you! You got this ?
Liz, I’m so sorry about the shingles. My dad had that several years ago, and he didn’t get it treated promptly, so he really suffered with it. I have to tell you, that even though you haven’t talked about stress, anxiety and not taking good care of yourself much recently, your readers already knew most or all of the things that you shared today. I’m glad you felt like you could talk about it today, and I’m glad you’re ready to take charge of your health. Just know that we’ve been here all along, supporting you, praying for you, and not judging you for being just as human as the rest of us. And for heaven’s sake, whatever you do, don’t work harder! 😉
I to suffer from anxiety / depression. I have had panic attacks so bad that they have sent me to the ER more than once….they’re awful! I’m on medication for it as well…because i can’t afford an ER bill every time I have a panic attack… which is frowned upon a lot…..but you gotta do what you have to do…..I exercise, eat right 80% of the time and indulge 20% – it works….. but anxiety & depression are nothing to joke about…..it is REAL and, being honest, it just sux!
I will be praying for you, though…… <3
Wow, I have recently started following you, I live in Cincinnati and have a house in Holland, and I think you’re beautiful as you are, inside and out! I never would have thought you needed to lose 30 lbs, maybe you don’t. I also am so sorry you have shingles, my husband got them and if you catch it early his Dr gave him some med to lessen the symptoms. The painful period was shortened although it took quite a lot of time for his rash to completely go away. Hope yours is short too. One last thing, have you tried a keto diet, I think if you eat gluten free you’re almost there. It’s low carb, medium protein high fat, think Bacon haha. But I have heard helps PCOS and fertility issues as well as weight loss and energy issues. Wishing only the best for you! Put it all in God’s hands and find peace through him ?
I am so sorry about you getting shingles. Try the 131 method by Chalene Johnson (formally from Michigan) and her team. It all about gut health. It has helped many people with anxiety, depression, infertility and many health issues. She has videos and a lot of information followed up by experts in this field. She has dietitians that answer questions 24/7. A long with many recipes. It has become a life changer for so many people. I too have suffered with many health issues and I was glad this information was given to me. I hate to see you suffer. Praying for you! God Bless you, Jose and all your animals.
So sorry that you are dealing with this. I have anxiety and have also had shingles twice before. Once when both my grandpa and mom were in the hospital at the same time and again when I had our second child. She was four weeks old and my husband was out of the Marine Corps and we were finally able to move home from Hawaii. Such a happy time right? So stressful! Packing our apartment, flying home from Hawaii with a 14 month old and a 4 month old with as much as we could bring. Oh did I mention there was a huge snow storm in the Midwest so all flights from California were canceled. So we had to drive the rest of the way from California to Missouri with the two babies. Needless to say I got shingles. And I was out of shape from having two babies. But I just took a couple pain pills and pushed through. It wasn’t until a year later I realized I needed to get myself in shape. I bring a lot of stress on myself just from things like an idea. Too many things going on in my head. I had tried to lose weight before but never gave it a full commitment. So I did, I got the Extreme Fat Smash Book because I needed a diet that told me what to eat, when to eat it and what exercise to do and if you follow you will lose weight. I worked full time with two kids at this point. I lost the weight I wanted to. And I learned how to manage my weight if I gain some now I know what I need to do to lose it. But most of all I learned how to be a healthy person. In order to be healthy you have to set time aside to exercise. And I’m not talking walk the dog. I can’t exercise with my dogs. They diatract me. Plus the alone time you will get will help clear your mind and release some of that stress you have trapped inside. I used to laugh when I heard take a walk if your stressed. Like I’d think who has time for that when I’m this stressed. But once you get in the habit, man it helps. I walk, jog for exercise. I don’t go to a gym with other people. I crave the personal time with myself. I guarantee once you get in the habit you will feel better. Also, having a healthy exercise routine will hopefully help your fertility journey. My girlfriend had been trying for years and they couldn’t afford a fertility Dr. She tried different herbal teas, vitamins, etc… But once she cut all Pop (coke, soda, whatever you call it) and started a healthy diet she got pregnant! She swears to this day it was the pop that was preventing her from getting pregnant. And I know it’s a long shot but regardless she was unhealthy before and once she got healthy it worked. Anyway, I hope you can find a way to take time for yourself to exercise and release that built up stress we carry around. I will say a prayer or three for you on this journey.
There will always (always!) be stressful things in life. Some so terrible you can’t imagine being in that moment; some just the daily grind. The whole spectrum is normal, though. Anxiety is just another name for thoughts controlling our feelings. Sadness is normal, as well as elation. No one is happy all the time and no one needs to be sad all the time. We put pressure on ourselves to experience “the perfect” with everything. A balance is what gives us that larger lens to view life. Prayers for your health and wellness path going forward!
You are such a beautiful soul. Sending prayers for peace and direction. You’ve got this and He will be there every step of the way. “Fear not for I am with you”
I’m so sorry to hear about this. You got this, though! With prayers, some de-stressing, and a little bit of hard work, you can overcome it!
It makes me sad to hear you say you failed. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are working through something that is causing you an incredible amount of stress. Be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t be so hard on another about their weight gain or struggles. I know we all have those inner voices. I get it…it’s really hard to turn those off…really hard! When I’m feeling low or stressed (I’m a worrier like no other) I stop what I’m thinking and out loud I say to myself “right here, right now…I’m okay” It brings me into the present and forces me to stop worrying about the future or the past. Right here, right now…I’m okay. I hope you find peace and please know you bring so much joy and happiness by sharing your beautiful farm and home and all your honesty of the struggles that go along with life and we thank you ❤️
I know your struggle and am praying for you. Infertility was the hardest thing I ever went through. I never did get to have the family I so badly wanted naturally, however I have the most wonderful son that I could ever ask for and he has given me a grandson that I love with my whole heart. Adoption is an option and believe me you will love that child like you gave birth to them. When we got word that a 3 month was waiting for us we were on top of the world and fell in love with him the moment we saw him. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen or held. I hope that someday you can have that feeling.
Joan
I appreciate you sharing this. Stress and anxiety just plain suck (unfortunately I know from experience) my physical anf mental health has been terrible just because of stress. You can take care of yourself physically well, but if your mind isn’t in the same state it doesn’t matter anyway. Good luck on your journey to health . Wish you all the best in right there with you.
Liz, I am twice your age yet your social media presence has captivated me. Outwardly, it would seem we have little in common and even less I could give to you. Yet as I follow your life through your words and pictures I am drawn to you and find strength and promise for both of us. After 5 years of stage 4 breast cancer which travelled unchecked to my brain; after7 brain surgeries,a mastectomy, 2 round of chemo, radiation, frequent long stints in hospitals, multiple medications and doctor visits and tests too numerous to count, I find joy in today and the promise of tomorrow. I see in you a fellow “thriver”. I find inspiration and hope in you which oddly translates to my dreams and visions. I know how much a loving husband and amazing friends have helped me to climb out of darkness in those times when it seemed easier to give in and lose myself in isolation. I admire and cherish your bravery in showing your vulnerabity and in reaching outward. In your sometimes lonely struggles, masked by your glorious talents and social face, may you find strength and a sense of well-being in all that you give to others!
Liz, remember that you are SO beautiful no matter what! Be the best version of yourself and get yourself healthy again! Keep your head held high and remember to take a breath and look at how beautiful your life is with Jose and all your amazing adorable animals! And just remember, whatever you decide to do, make sure that it makes you happy. Sending all my love!
Hi Liz-
Thanks for being so brave and sharing your story. Things have a deceiving way of looking perfect on a blog or Instagram, and your realness is refreshing. I’ve been suffering w/ generalized anxiety disorder for awhile now too. Diagnosed when I was 20, but I think it started long before then. Unless one knows how depression feels, or a panic attack can take complete control of your body and mind, one can not know fully what it is like. Friend, I understand completely. I also share in your journey to become a mom someday. I pray God helps us both stay strong and positive. His plan is far greater and more beautiful than we could ever have dreamed for ourselves. Take care of yourself and find peace in the process.
What an amazing story of courage and strength! Thanks for sharing, Cheryl. You are a warrior! So so so inspiring.
Your vulnerability is so beautiful and I hope you know just how much your voice is helping so many women who are in the deep, dark pits of infertility and the depression that coincides. While I will not pretend I know exactly how you feel, I know the parts of your story that you have so graciously shared and have my own story of suffering through infertility and pcos as well; I see so much of myself in your thoughts and these posts are exactly the reassurance to your readers (and hopefully to you as well) that we are not alone when it starts to feel as if we are. I wish you all of the best luck on your journey to better health and a brighter mental ground during this time and sincerely hope that you are feeling better soon. As always, thank you so much for your candor and genuineness ?
I’ve been there… in college I got shingles. One quote that has helped me get though tough days is “people are as happy as they make their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln. Put yourself first and give yourself the love it needs. Sending prays and strangth your way! ❤️
Take some time to love on yourself beautiful soul 🙂 Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability! You are not alone with the depression and anxiety and figuring out how to love a body that seems so separate from who you are that it starts to feel like an enemy rather than you. Take care of yourself and know that there is lots of love and prayers coming your way.
Sweet gal – you are not alone either. We all have those times where things could certainly be better. I would encourage you to take that quiet time you need and maybe try some positive affirmations? I am healthy, I am healed, I am whole. Sending lots of love and light your way:)
Liz, are you reading these posts?? Because You my friend are a inspiration to sooo many people that you don’t even know. And I gotta tell ya, if you are 30 lbs over weight then you WERE tooo skinny. Stop beating your self up and Slow down.. God has a way of showing up and telling us to stop. So, now you have some work to do and it’s ok! You don’t have to be super woman!! I sound like a Mamma Bear don’t I??? You have a village out here to lean on and You have a lot of prayers and love coming your way.
Joanne
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life but lately it’s out of control. I’ve gained a ton of weight and have no energy to put myself together. You truly are a inspiration and have given me a way to deal with depression. I always tell my kids and husband that Liz has this cute picture or Liz put a light over a picture and used a pick light lol. I know it’s not much but just know you are helping others out especially me. Take one step at a time and everything will be ok. It might take a while but you’ll get there. Trust me. Thanks for sharing your life. Oh and if I ever win the lottery I need you to come decorate my home. Cause girl you are the bomb.
I would like to disagree a little bit with those doctors… yes stress ect..but shingles is a virus..and when chicken pox is currently making the rounds..many are getting shingles. .. buy some L-Lysine at walmart or your local drugstore.. take as prescribed and the shingles will be gone in a few days.. a dr will want to prescribe some meds that your body doesn’t need and that won’t work nearly as fast or well… if you don’t want to take my word for it.. do a bit of research..please do it for yourself… you’ll feel better in just a few days.. we love you and want the best for you and your sweet hubby.. always praying for you… in our family..we have gone thru the same as you two have been going thru..so hano in there!!!
Love you affirmation idea!
Hi Liz, Thanks for sharing your personal battles!! I also suffer from anxiety and stress and I am 43 years young and I get worry about it affecting my health. Your blog today has opened my eyes more to take a stand and do something to help my self!!
Thanks,
Evelyn C.
Prayers sent Liz. And hope you start feeling bettering soon. And I know that God is working in your favor . Praying for your family that the desire of your heart will completed . I can already see all those children running around the farmhouse. It will be in a Percy timing for your family ???
Sending prayers! I hope you can have a little less stress, easier said than done ? but you can do it! Prayers!
*perfect timing
Ok I am 57! I love your blog and Instagram. You make me happy everyday. I love all of your animals and how much they are a part of your family. You have an amazing life. You have taken on a huge project with your farm. You and Jose have a very healthy relationship and appear to be on the same page. If you wait until everything is perfect to do something you may never get to it. You are being way to hard on yourself. I know because I do the same thing to myself. You are 30 pounds over weight. It happens. If you take one step out the door and start walking you may immediately feel better. Or making healthy food choices will do the same thing. It puts you back in control. (I should listen to my own advice.) Please realizes that yes you have had some very dark days, but 30 pounds does not diminish who you are and how much joy you bring to many people. Keep your head up. You are an amazing mom to all of your adorable pets. And will be the same to children you and Jose have. Whatever path you go down to make that a reality. Keep being you!
I so understand the not having a kitchen for 9 months. We were there and I gained a ton of weight. I am now walk8ng and calorie diet and it is working. Take one step at a time and it will happen – even though I want it gone NOW! You are amazing and I love reading your blog. Take care of yourself.
A 1200 calorie diet.
You are amazing, and such an inspiration to so many, in so many different ways. Don’t be too hard on yourself.. I know it’s easier said than done! Life just gets in the way sometimes. I’ve struggled with my weight, depression, etc, after my sister died a couple years ago. Still doing the best that I can but it’s a struggle putting myself first. I cried with my trainer when I joined the gym.. only because he reminded me to put myself first, and how I never do. Really?!, who cries at the gym? Me. It’s hard for us women because we are caretakers. I see how you take care of Jose, Grace, Winnie, Bear, and Bella?, and all the rest of your crew, your shop, your farm… It’s no wonder you are stressed… it’s alot to be sure. I know for certain that God has a plan for you, plans for good, and for a future and hope. We love you & are praying for you.
Liz, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s easy for us to sit behind our digital screens and forget how much stress you have from so many directions. I’ll step up my prayers for you! I have been able to overcome a serious health issue this year through a whole foods plant based diet. I would be happy to answer any questions if you’re interested.
Hugs to Winnie!
Lisa @mylittlecraftyhome
Hi Liz, my name is Nicole Nobel. I’m not sure if you read all your comments or honestly if my comment will even be worth reading. I just read your latest blog post. A lot of what you wrote is what I have felt for years. Infertility is such a lonely journey/ trial. So I thought I would share our story. My husband and I were married almost 13 years ago. I was 23 when I got married. My husband is the oldest of 10 kids and he wanted 12 of his own. I wanted 6. I am the oldest of 5….all girls. We weren’t waiting to have kids so when our first anniversary came and we weren’t pregnant. I was ok with that. But then my younger sister got married a year after me and was pregnant within three months, I started to get concerned “I wonder why it’s taking so long” ? Two years passed and still nothing I put on weight with all the stress ,drinking pop and eating out a lot. Family started to say maybe if you just lost a little bit of weight or you should stop drinking pop. Or maybe stop eating bread. So I did for a time . I lost weight and went down my original weight which was 125 I lost maybe 20lbs. But then I turned 25 and still no baby and that was hard. I was depressed and stressed out. I felt like I was broke and things in my body just do not work like they are supposed to. My sister announced they were pregnant with their second , this time it stung. Like salt being poured into a wound that I didn’t know was open. By the time my sister had their second baby another sister got married and shortly after announced they were expecting . That one took the wind out of my sails. I kept putting weight on trying to dull the pain with something that made me happy and that was food and pop. It was a vicious cycle because I ate to dull the pain but then I was so depressed with how I looked and how much weight I put on. The comments of try this or try that kept coming .I kept getting older and that stressed me out. People would say Abraham and Sarah were old too. But I did t find that comforting. I didn’t want to wait till I was 90. I knew they were just trying to help or be encouraging, but it didn’t encourage me. My husband started to say what about adoption. I did t want to .I felt like I was telling God I’m ok if you never give a child of my own, one that I carried myself. And I wasn’t going to do that. I wasn’t trusting God at all. I was trying to do it on my own, and doing a horrible job. Pregnancy test after pregnancy test felt like a slap across my face. As if they were laughing at me. I would have This thought of how much of an idiot I was to think I was pregnant. Only to have started my period the day after or sometimes just hours after. Time went by ,more babies came into the family, I loved being an aunt. I would have times where I would be ok with it just being Justin and me. We could leave when ever. But then another announcement would come and each time some how there would be a spotlight on us. People watching us to see how we would handle it. Each time it felt like the air was knocked out us. That wound I was doing ok with was ripped open again and more salt poured into it. Justin and I suffered separate at times and times of suffering together. I think we tried to show each other we were ok. We tried clomid and got pregnant the first round. When I found out I was pregnant I was like wow! I can’t believe this. I went to work that day with my sister and didn’t say anything. The next day I was bleeding. And I knew what was happening. I felt like my body was killing my baby. Why is my body so vicious and broken. I was broken hearted. Trying to get over it. But I didn’t feel like I could talk to anybody about it because I felt like I was a drippy faucet to everybody. Nobody asked how I was so tried not to cry about it. I stuffed it deep down inside. I thought I was pregnant for a day it’s not worth crying about apparently since nobody seems concerned. Then the comments of at least you know you can get pregnant. I know they were trying to be positive but I was breaking inside. A year later we got our foster license . We knew we couldn’t afford an adoption so we went the route of foster to adopt. A few months later we were placed with a sibling group or three .ages 2,1 and 4 months. Needless to say it was chaotic. I struggled bonding with them. But then I did bond with them and I realized I could love a child that I didn’t carry myself. And that yes it’s different but still so good. I had some kind of relationship with their mom. So there was a war inside of me wanting to make them mine and then wanting her just be able to get her kids back. Time went by and things with these little ones was good. I got to see all of the youngest firsts. First step , first tooth , first time he called me Mom. We thought we were going to adopt them it had been a year. They had started to have weekends with their mom. Which was hard. During this time I was seeing a naturopath in Grand Rapids. His name was Micah and he asked me if you can’t have a baby will it be the end of the world? I was like dude are you dumb? Haha , of course it would be. But I answered no I guess not. I realized it wouldn’t be ,but the idea of wrapping my mind around that ,I was not ok with that. I was taking all of the supplements and my adrenals were doing much better. But I didn’t t make the necessary diet changes and my husband said there is no point t in goi g there any more if you are not going to listen. So I stopped seeing him. During all this my grandma passed away and the family farm sold and my parents moved to Montana . With God carrying me I managed to make the necessary diet changes and lost 50lbs. I was still over weight but felt better and looked better . September of 2013 I needed to confirm I was not pregnant so I could take some natural drops which is what I used in the diet . They are natural but shouldn’t be taken while pregnant. Thus the test. That test showed up positive and I was like am I Seeing things….right? I had to ask my husband if he saw what I saw. Indeed we were expecting. We were so excited and blown away by this news. I kept saying how did it happen. December of 2013 we said goodbye to our three children and sent them back to their mom. The hardest thing ever. I went thru another time of a mild depression at the same time excited in May we were going to meet our baby. We had a baby girl may of 2014 our miracle baby. Little Liana. And were so happy. Struggling with being a first time Mom of a newborn but so happy and thanking God for his goodness to us. We waited 8 yrs for her.The following November we were placed with a little boy 20 months old our daughter was 5 Months old. And things got chaotic. His parents right have already been terminated so we were going to adopt him. July of 2015 we adopted our son Liam. God was growing our family the way he saw fit. It happened so fast in some ways. That year was crazy an adoption ,God was calling my husband to the ministry so we were moving to the Grand Rapids area so he could go to seminary and that December of 2015. We found out that God was blessing g our family with another member. Eden was born September of 2016. And today I sit writing to you 23 weeks pregnant with our fourth child. I just turned 36 three days ago. All this rambling ( for which I am truly sorry) to say that I believe God puts us in these trials, trials he has specifically and lovingly planned for us for very specific reasons. They don’t happen for no reason. They happen to bring us closer to our Heavenly Father. And to bring forth the picture he has painted for us , that perfect picture. His will. God over the span of six years brought me to finally see he was calling us to foster care. If we would have been able to have kids right away we would never have become foster parents and never would have met Lisa and her Three kids and been there for her. We never would have met and adopted our son Liam. And honestly my husband would not be in seminary either. God truly opens the womb and Closes the womb. These are things I have learned. I pray God blesses you in this day and gives you encouragement and peace and calm. So I guess I just want you to know what you are feeling today many of us have done and are doing the same thing and wanting to make changes. But as each day goes by I am seeing more clearly I can’t do anything separate from God. He is the one who carries me. And each day I find myself like a kid trying to do it by myself when I can’t. Much love to you and your husband
I got Shingles a year ago. Yes it is painful,probably the worst I have ever felt. I still have pain now on the side it was on. I hear it is normal. So sorry you got at such a young age. You have been thru a lot. Snuggle with your animals an distress.
Sweet Liz Marie.
I don’t know what you looked like before but you are beautiful right this minute. I am weight coo and so is my daughter so I get it. That can all work out with healthy changes.
I have had many friends and my husband who have had shingles. They are miserable but it’s nothing you did if didn’t do.
Giving yourself a break and not taking on the idea that you caused it will help you greatly.
There is a bumper sticker for years ago that I just totally understand now ” shit happens”. I never truly got the phrase but it’s so true.
We can be one with the lord, do kind deeds, be super healthy mind and body but stuff just happens. Bit because we are bad or take life for granted.
It just happens.
So yes eat right, sleep at night,
Love one another but please
Give your self the license to not take it all on.
Baby steps to the grocery store, baby steps to exercise… etc is my motto to not be over whelmed.
I wish I could give you a huge hug and tell you this is just a bump in the road. You are so strong, creative, loving and you are empowered! Do what’s good for you which will be good all around.
Hugs and have only sunny days ahead. ❤️
Just be mindful and slow down. I think we all try to get it all done, and punish ourselves if we don’t. We can’t accomplish everything but it doesn’t stop us from trying does it?! Ugh! Life is what you make it, slowing down and being conscious of your entire day and checking off what you have done – nevermind what you didn’t get done because there’s always tomorrow.
Prayers to you Liz! I too thought shingles came only from the chicken pox virus.
I suffered years and years from stress and anxiety and came to find out my Vitamin D level was very low and was never checked. It should be above 50 although many Doctors say low normal is fine but it’s not. Also magnesium is great also to take for the anxiety. Just not magnesium oxide because it is not absorbed. Hoping you have a speedy recovery.
Ann
Hey Gal, I’m there 33, 15 lbs overweight never struggled with weight always petite but always anxious even as a child. I just got off antidepressants to try and loose the weight but not sure it’s totally worth it. I would highly encourage them for a time. I’ve used them two times in my life and the weights were lifted. It’s hard to succumb to the idea that you might need them it took me two years but it really was such a God send. Praying for you! It’s in these moments He speaks to us so clearly. We also have a mutual friend McKenzie Howard, Harper Collins I’m in some early talks with her but regardless rooting for you and I feel like our spirits are so similar. Hoping to meet you at the Haven Conference praying for your healing.
What a beautiful story, Nicole. God absolutely has a plan far greater than we have for ourselves. Congrats on baby #4!!
Thank you so much
You are so right in saying we all are struggling issues that affect or health that we must choose to make the right choices. And I would like you to know that every morning the first thing I do is read your blog and Instagram. You always give a positive thoughts to start my day. Thanks for sharing your story I know that can’t be easy. You are a kind and caring person and I hope you are feeling better soon. I hope
You know make a difference in many people’s life. It makes us all feel a little more human when we realize we’re not the only one struggling. Thanks again for your sunny personality. I will continue to pray for your and your family. I know your dreams will come true.
Please do not take being over stressed lightly. Almost a year ago I suffered a stress related heart attack. I ate healthy, had normal cholesterol and blood pressure, exercised daily but still had a heart attack. (no blockages). It wasn’t caused by one large stress but an overloaded plate of many stresses – many out of my control. and like you I have dealt with anxiety since childhood. As women it is so natural for us to give all to everyone but unfortunately we often leave nothing for ourselves. Counselling has helped me tremendously to learn how to manage and deal with anxiety and stress. Instead of going to bed and thinking of everything on my to-do list, I reflect on all the things that I accomplished today. It seems so simple but it actually helps. I am also learning to see myself through God’s eyes instead of man’s. Unfortunately, we often allow what we believe are the opinions of others to control our decisions. We have a difficult time saying “no” and taking on more than we should because we are worried about what others will think if we refuse. I enjoy reading your Blog so much but we can see that you are a very busy woman with a lot of her plate. The cardiologist told me my heart attack was God’s way and telling me to slow down and unload some stress. It ended up being a blessing for me. As bad as shingles are, perhaps this will be a blessing and you can take time to reflect and make changes that will improve your health all around. Best wishes with your fertility efforts and I hope you have a speedy recovery from shingles.
This tugs at my heart strings. I am about to turn 30 as well. I’ve looked up to you and told my husband, look at her, she’s my age and has so much great going for her, envious. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m in the same boat, gained 20 lbs in the last year partially from BC and partially just not caring about myself. I recently started working out 30 minutes and day and caring what I eat. It’s helping…my anxiety, my bloat, my happiness. I pray the same for you. You’re not alone in this. All my love
I’ve been reading your stories for awhile now, and I appreciate your openness to be real. I don’t think we have enough of that. I have a dear friend who had shingles (age 44), but until reading your story, I guess I didn’t know that much about it. I feel guilty as a friend, for not doing more for her. I hope you feel better soon.
After losing my dad, my ex husband, and my grandfather all in the course of 4 years, I felt I was getting sucked in a dark hole. For me it was finding peace with nature, getting outside, depression had to be my individual journey, something I had to process with God and God alone. Just recently I’ve noticed with Instagram stories, I was being sucked into the commercialism of all the marketing. It’s hard not too, everything seems so perfect, and so you want your life to be perfect too. Well it’s not. I’ve had to take a step back and say, “you need to be yourself, true to you.” To remember why I love Instagram- for the “real stories” and for photographs. Thanks for being “real” Liz. God already has everything planned out, so try not to worry (easier said than done.) Keep your faith first. With kindness and love- Stacy (Washington state)
Stress. Depression. Anxiety.
Weight gain, & ongoing Illness. Been there, Done that, but refused to buy the t-shirt!
You have your Husband and Family who support you, and loyal followers, like myself, who don’t want to see you burn completely out.
Maybe this is a time where you take a step back, and take care of YOU.
Set up a simpler blogging schedule. Instagram a little less. Give yourself some time to breath.
Yes we love to follow along on your adventures on Instagram, and check out how you’ve rearranged a room on this blog,
but the challenge to keep up with constant, all new content must be both mentally & physically exhausting.
So why not try to enjoy your beautiful house for awhile, love on your fur babies, cook good meals and take long walks with your husband. SelfCare <3 It can be a beautiful thing.
Do these things just for yourself, not for us. Cause sweetheart, I for one will be right here waiting, if you choose to step back for a bit and get things settled within. Hugs and well wishes from a long time follower xx
i was in your spot. I too developed shingles from stress in growing and keeping up with the growth of my business at 35 yrs old and the beginning of this year. Now that I have a handle on that from trusting others with some of the workload, I walk. Walk walk walk… I love listening to podcasts and getting away from it all. People dog on walking but it really is great exercise, I lose weight when I do it and feel energized. I pray abundant blessings for you!
Love your vulnerability. We have all been guilty of the same things! Give yourself grace and first just heal from Shingles .. those suck! Then you can take back ???? Your health and everything you are ready to tackle. ❤️?
Hi Sweetie ! What an amazing group of people on your blog who are so supportive and helpful ! So much love and true caring people who are joining me in praying for you and Jose ! I don’t have to say anything more…you know that we love you, God loves you, Jose loves you and now Liz needs to show herself some love too! Call me if I can help lighten your load. I am here if you need me ! Romans 8:28 XOXOXOX Aunt Kim
I once was very overwhelmed with circumstances beyond my control. I went to a therapist who helped me tremendously. One thing she had me do…pick a favorite photo of you as a child and frame it and put it in a place where you will see it often. Practice looking at the picture and visualize hugging yourself and telling this little girl that you are going to take care of her. It helped me, and it is worth a try.
Bless you.
Sweet Liz…Well…it just plain and simple sounds like the pits for you right now! I’m so sorry you have to go through this! And having shingles…ugh that sounds horrible! But don’t beat yourself up for it. We are on this earth to learn and grow and it sounds like you are taking back your health…so to hears to new beginnings ?…don’t give up on yourself…you CAN get your health back and with that so much more? good luck my friend ?
Oh, so much of what you share resonates with me! I love following you because we have so much in common and your words always seem to come at the right time. Seeing one of your last fertility posts helped my husband and I decide to take a step and start back on the road to making a plan to start our family after a 1.5 year break! I was absolutely stuck after battling infertility and pregnancy losses following IVF cycles. I was not in a good place mentally or physically and I didn’t realize it until I was confronted with yet another issue. My husband and I took back our health last year and lost a combined 145 pounds and have never felt better! I had a phenomenal support system and now I get to pay the gift forward and help others striving for a healthier life too. It’s not always easy, but so worth it. While we haven’t officially declared our next step for building our family, we are keeping all possibilities open and we are finally able to rejoice in the fact that it’s a journey that God is in control of and we will get through it! Wishing you all the best in your health and fertility journey and I’d love to connect with you!
Hi Liz,
I appreciate this blog post more then you will ever know. This week I had something similar happen where I had to make a decision about taking care of my health or IVF treatment. Well long story short we decided that my health came first and that I needed to take care of three issues, my endometriosis, chronic migraines and anxiety. We felt that maybe we needed to take a step back. I realized that part of my anxiety was coming from the pressure of trying to concieve which I put upon myself. My partner said to me “you should be the healthiest version of yourself before we can bring a child into this world.” He reminded me that without my health I can’t do all the things that I want to do and although it was hard to hear it I needed that. So with that said we are taking the pressure off ourselves in trying to concieve and trying to focus an all the positive things in our lives. We are going to laugh more, travel more and just live life a little more. Happy just the two of us and of course our fur baby and if one day god feels the time is right well I have good faith that it will happen. Hang in there you are not alone. Taking care of youself is the most important thing. Thank you for bringing hope and inspiration to so many of us around the world. Best of luck with your new beginning. A new page has turned.
Oh my, I am so sorry to hear this. My brother has had shingles, its usually in older people at least from what I have seen with my friends and family, in fact I dont think they give you the shingles vac until you are over 60. There have been bad things coming out about that vac lately so I guess it doesn’t work anyway. I JUST TURNED 60, TALK ABOUT GAINING WEIGHT ugh. I have had diabetes since 16 years old, I wear an insulin pump and now use a blood glucose sensor in conjunction, so that being said, I am doing the best I can,but there is always room for improvement.
We are a work in progress our whole lives, don’t beat yourself up. I know you really want a baby, but that doesn’t make you who you are. You are a beautiful person and give so much to all of us who follow your blog. Stay positive and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ?
Hi Liz Marie,
I can’t even tell you how much your story resembles mine. Six unsuccessful fertility procedure tons of weight gain from meds and depression and I guess giving up on myself and being disappointed with myself and my body failing me. Boy oh boy did I hit rock bottom. But there came a time when I had to say I can’t keep being so hard on myself. I need to trust in God’s plan whatever that may be. Little by little I started taking back control of my life and Sweet friend you will too! I am praying for you stay strong! Xoxoxo
I completely understand what you are going through. I tried to get pregnant for almost 10 years and then I decided to stop trying and do something for myself. I quit my job and went back to school….I started eating healthy and working out. I was finally happy again! Guess what?! I got pregnant out of nowhere! I honestly believe that letting go of what I couldn’t control and taking care of myself for once is what allowed me to become pregnant. My beautiful little miracle is now 20 months, and although I still struggle with ovulation issues, I have faith that if it is meant to be…..I will have one more.
Give yourself some grace. You were without a kitchen for most of the year! Prayers for healing!
Oh, my, dear Liz! I have been reading your blog for awhile, and it has been on my heart for some time that I should mention to you the natural supplements I’m taking. It’s been about a year, but they have changed my health and life drastically: I have Fibromyalgia, plus terrible back pain from degenerative disc disease (involving nine inoperable discs), for which I have an implanted battery/wires unit for pain relief (this “distracts” my attention) … And, I am presently in the midst of withdrawing from the negative neurological effects of an anti-depressant (given to me for pain only), and advised it may take two years to do this. The side effects of this taper are quite terrible and far-reaching, but have been milder for me personally.
One of our daughters has recovered from Lyme Disease as a result of these supplements, and her treating physician writes prescriptions for the various products she takes.
I am told that they have helped women with PCOS, as well as with infertility issues, so I feel called share with you. I am much older, so if these can change my health, I really feel they would bring you some relief and positive improvement.
I’ll not mention their name here, because this is certainly not meant to advertise, but I would love to have you contact me so you can look into this yourself. My pain management doctor has information about the supplements to pass on to other patients because he sees how very much I have been helped health-wise. I hope that you will prayerfully consider this, and my own prayers are with you still, as well.
My mother suffered terribly with them so I know the effect they can have … bless you in this new struggle …
Hi, I think we all can relate, and I wish you well on your road to health. Your little dog family and loving husband are there for you; so, please rest and take care of yourself.
Check out PrettyNeatLiving and JeanWang posts. They both had problems with infertility, and PrettyNeatLiving, Jen Ross cured her problems holistically and with acupuncture and diet. I myself am doing the holistic approach, and there are many woman getting pregnant and curing their stress, back pain and other issues through the chiropractor, acupuncture, etc.; which, I can testify to helping me.
You seem to have many people who are caring and offering advice; so, God bless and I wish you the best. I think when everyone as a community shares, it is God speaking and helping one another.
L-Lysine is great. I agree totally with you, and great for people who suffer with cold sores and fever blisters. Since I have taken this I do not get them when I get a really bad cold, etc. There is a form for cats and animals which helps with their little congestion problems too, and much better than drugs.
As I read all the sweet messages saying to take it easy on yourself, and I agree, there also is a time for facing the music and putting on big girl panties. And you and you alone will know when that time has come. I lost my 19 yr old daughter 4 years ago and long story short in 2017 I had 7 surgeries and I now have a feeding tube. I thought I was doing ok. I didn’t turn to drugs or alcohol and I pushed through and kept myself crazy busy so it was easy to tell myself I was handling everything ok. Our bodies can only “absorb and hide” the effects of stress and anxiety for so long. So, do what you need to do to get healthy. I’ll be praying for you ❤
Girl, I admire you and your willingness to be vulnerable and honest. I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve been experiencing. I too struggle with anxiety and depression and sometimes it’s so hard to move forward and let go of the bad stuff and the bad mindsets… you do you girl and know you are so admired and loved!!!
Liz, I’ve been dealing with health issues and that in itself causes stress, making it a vicious circle! Thank you for anyways sharing your vulnerability, I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know I’m not alone!
You are deserving of wonderful things and I’m putting that out in the universe for you! XO
Sending many Blessings and Positive Energy. Just something to think about. In some ways many years ago I had many of the same struggles. I was fortunate to find a wonderful Massage Therapist/Reiki Master who I saw regularly. It made such a difference in my Life that I too became a Energy Worker. 25 yrs later I am still doing God’s work. So many wonderful experiences and life changing healings. Please consider finding a wonderful spiritual based Bodyworker. Miracle happen every day and they can for you also. ??
Honey, I’m 72 yrs young, and have been around the block a time or two, walked many miles, and I’m throwing my two cents in here.
You have the love of a good man, pets/animals that love you and depend on you for their very existence, family and friends (face-to-face & virtual). You have a nice home, food on the table, and clothes on your back. Sure, you’ve got a few things amiss in life right now, according to you, in your world… some minor physical and mental health issues, confidence issues, disappointments.
There are folks dealing with life-threatening health and medical issues every danged day. There are worse things than shingles… shingles will fade away. There are worse things than not having babies when you desperately want babies… having a baby, nurturing it, loving it, and then losing it to death is one heck of a lot worse. I know… losing a child never leaves your soul and heart the same.
What this old woman is trying to say is this… take it one day at a time, be truly grateful for that which you have. Be gentle with yourself and others. When you’re in a dark place, trust in God and listen closely… you just might hear him talking to you and pointing you towards his path for you. Cry and have a pity party for about 5 minutes, and then get yourself up and focus on the GOOD in your life and life around you. If you want to be healthier, work toward being healthier. That 30 pounds you gained didn’t happen overnight, and you can’t get rid of it overnight. Ask yourself what’s stressing you these days? Something within your control or outside your control? Make a plan to get the things you can control under control. If it’s outside your control, accept it no matter how hard that may be.
Life will throw real drama your way without you going looking for it. You’re blessed with so much, loved by many, but no one can make any of your trials easier right now. Folks can love and support you, and that’s a blessing. How you deal with your trials, and how much you allow God to deal with them and help you deal with them, is up to you.
Sharing can be so therapeutic. When we allow dark pieces to gain that little bit of exposure, it’s scary because it makes us so vulnerable, but often it’s the very thing that let’s in the light. Praying for you and your journey. Lord, grant your daughter wisdom in when, where and how to say no, or when where and how to rest in Your perfect peace. Wash that over her on the name of Jesus! Amen! Total side note but there is a gal I follow on Instagram called @healthylittlepeach. She is fabulous and encouraging and a whole30 coach. She struggled with pcos as well as other health issues and gives so much credit to the whole 30 for changing her health. I did it in January and felt amazing, plus it’s only a month and helps you rule out stuff your body doesn’t like. I found corn and rice are doing me no favors in the health department and bonus, I lost ten pounds. It’s one month that might make a huge difference for you :). Blessings on your way to health, may God bless your path!
Easy does it Liz! Breathe and go slow. There is no hurry. You have an awful lot on your plate with a store, blog, farm, renovations etc. etc. First things first. Get to a place of peace. Easier said than done. When I finally found peace years ago with my fertility issues my life got better and my stress level went down. I’ve strugggled with depression and anxiety for years. I used to alway put so much pressure on myself and I had time tables in my head. We’re all here with you to share your journey. Have you tried yoga? Oh my goodness if feel so good and like I’m giving myself a big huge hug. It’s teaches me to breathe and slow down. I’ve heard that shingles are super painful! I hope you will take some time just to be and take care of yourself.
Liz! I’m on day 4 of taking my health back. I’m 25 lbs overweight, tired, and out of shape. It’s scary to start. I was actually sitting here thinking of excuses why it’s ok if I don’t go workout. Nope. Not gonna do it. You inspired me to get up! Thanks for being so raw and honest. That’s why people love you! You can do this. So can I. Sometimes we just need an extra kick in the butt to remember!
Hi,
Thank you so much for sharing❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m wondering if you have come across the Medical Medium on instagram. It’s very inspiring and I’m thinking his books might be helpful for you. I’ve just got mine in the mail and im beyond excited to get started. I’m soon to be 48 and Its me time❤️
Since I only know you through Instagram, I will offer little advice but pledge my prayers and say no one is without struggles, be kind to yourself.
Stress is very real and seasons of life bring different stresses and I need my “little bit of advice” I just shared myself! Hugs to you! Oops…. I do have a bit more “advice”! Throw the scales out and just concentrate on healthy!
I’m kind of at the same spot, you look around and think how did I get here? And then you wish you could magically jump back to that moment right before it slipped away. But I think once we own it and say it out loud, we can finally start taking back our health and our lives. Thank you for being open and willing to share. You help so many people feel not so alone. I pray for you and Jose on your journey to parenthood. And I pray for you to be happy and healthy. You are so amazing, you are talented and beautiful and kind. Sometimes its hard for a person to see those qualities in themselves. But trust me you are all of that and more. Take care of your sweet self! We need you!
I’m literally in the exact same boat! Good to know we aren’t alone!
I feel for you my dear. It is amazing what we can do to ourselves. I lost my precious 29 years old son 6 years ago. He was a college football player; had been an athlete all of his life. Out of college, he was coaching high school football. He had married in college and had 2 beautiful young daughters; 10 and 5. He died of a heart attack. When he died I lost all hope in any and every thing. I gained 40 pounds and ate to try to fill this hole in me. A year later at an insurance wellness check I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. On the day of the examination my blood pressure was 295. I really didn’t care because if I killed over I would be with my son. And I was more than ok with that. Sometimes we just hurt ourselves for reasons no one else can understand or see. And we aren’t doing drugs or drinking or hurting ourselves in ways others can notice but inside we feel ourselves slipping away into this secret place where we just don’t care and we slowly turn into someone we don’t even know anymore. Please fight for your health, for your husband, for your life. You are a beautiful, young woman and you deserve a beautiful, healthy life.
So sorry to hear about this Liz. Get well soon. ?
I have struggled with chronic shingles I wouldn’t survive without Peaceful Mountain Shingles Rescue. Look it up but it and slather it on! It’s all natural- helps tremendously with the pain and makes them go away so much faster. I keep it on hand constantly and if I start feeling that pinprickily pain I start rubbing it on. I was diagnosed with a blood/bone marrow cancer (myelofibrosis)and my meds for that can give you shingles as well, and I already battled chronic shingles- let me just say I HEAR you, I’ve felt it and I know this has helped me tremendously!! Get you some you will not regret it!!
Jen
So much stuff as already been said. I’ll just say that I think you’re such a special person and I’m giving you a big virtual hug.
Finding your own personal definition of balance and maintaining it can be so tough. One person’s idea of balance might be going to the gym every morning to start the day (my mother-in-law), while some people’s balance involves spending more time with friends or in social situations in order to feel that internal clarity.
Personally, I absolutely need alone time in order to recharge, slow down and reflect on my priorities. As an introvert, if I’m drained from too much travel or too many forced social situations, I am at my worst. I’ll stay up WAY too late in order to gain a few hours of peace and quiet while my husband and dogs sleep lol, then I wake up tired and foggy, and that leads to poor/convenient food choices, and the cycle spirals from there. Sometimes I convince myself that this Michigan weather plays a hand in controlling these out-of-balance funks that I get in (following you over here in Kalamazoo, hey hey!), but who really knows lol.
Amazon Prime Pantry and Shipt are two ways that I ensure our house is always stocked with healthy goodies, I avoid crowded grocery aisles that give me anxiety, I’m not tempted by take-out and I gain that time at home where I recharge best. Don’t be too hard on yourself, girl! You got this!!
Thank you for sharing this very personal part of you and I hope it helps in someway to let it out. I’m sorry about your diagnosis I’ve heard that shingles is very painful and I hope you have a fast recovery. I completely understand where you are coming from when it come to stress, I’m also a bigger stresser and would love to hear some tips if you find some that work for you. I know you’re a strong person and will take control and turn this around. I’m sure Jose and Winnie will help you through this.
Girl, this just really pulled on my heartstrings! Let this old broad and longtime sufferer of debilitating depression, anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia tell you that you are too young to be feeling this way!
Please slow down! Take one day a week, besides the weekend, and make it a Liz-day, YOUR day! NO PHONE!
Lay on the porch, or in the barn or go play with Grace and Winnie all day, run around the farm and just scream like you’re crazy, lay outside on a blanket and stare into the heavens and just BE! Don’t be afraid to just BE!
It’s ok, everone else will just be fine. You need to do you! Please you!
Do things for YOU! Not for your future babies, your husband or anyone else, but YOU for a change. And I promise you when you are ok, when you are healed and relaxed, truly relaxed and at peace, miracles will happen.
All my love, Karin
@karinmm1
I appreciate you and your honesty. You probably won’t read this. There are so many words of encouragement and love. I am a 53 year old mother of 10 and grandmother of 20. I have had health challenges and confidence issues all my married life. You are being to hard on yourself. You don’t need to try harder. You need to love yourself more. Enjoy the sunshine. Don’t push yourself to be more healthy through guilt but a place of peace. Still holding gratitude for all that you have and are. Prayer and meditation can help to calm your mind and bring the tension down. Give yourself time to day dream and just be. Take a nap or sleep in. This life is full of challenges for all of us. All we can do is make the most of each day. But, that does not mean rushing around checking off a list. It’s seeing the beauty of the moments. You are beauty. Your husband. Your pets. You are all the gift. Let yourself feel it.
I so relate to you in many ways, I too live in a fixer upper(so I get that stress), have infertility, anxiety and have been in a stand still. I was frozen in my fear. Trying so hard to give my energy to things I COULD control since I couldn’t control my fertility or remodel. But it wasn’t healthy, my doctor said my stress has put me in adrenal failure and I will continue to have hormone imbalance until I balance my stress. I gave up hope convincing myself I was accepting that maybe my dreams aren’t Gods will for me. But really I gave up faith and became depressed. I was putting my identity in my health issues, short comings and imperfections. Trying so hard to convince everyone and myself that I am ok, I can handle it. Till I realized I am NOT ok, I CANT handle it I need strength from God. My imperfections are what I need to be vulnerable about, because God has a purpose in my story. How can He use me when I refuse to be honest and vulnerable? So keep sharing, ESPECIALLY when it’s scary, God has a purpose for us and uses our imperfections for His glory.
Too. Sorry.
I always wish rhat I could put my healing thoughts into words. I do know what prayers I have in my heart for you. Sending a warm hug and adding you to my prayers ❤️
Girl….. so many of us are right there with you!! All of my three PCOS pregnancies finally happened for me when I started exercising an hour a day and eating paleo. I never kept it up after, but it was such a testament of healthy eating and how much more our bodies need it. It sucks that it’s harder for us, but it is and it’s just life. You’ve got so many of us cheering for you! (and now i’m inspired to start back eating healthy!)
Prayers for you and the season you are passing though. Just wondering…have you ever heard of the Trim Healthy Mama way of eating? I know that people who have changed their eating lifestyle have had some success beating PCOS.
I am so sorry,but, no need to beat yourself up, just use this wise advice from your doctor to get yourself turned around while you are still so young. It is easy when your busy to stop and go out to eat or eat wrong, been there. Also, I have had shingles too, in came out on the lower quadrant of my face, the doctor said I was lucky I didn’t get it in my eye, might have gone blind. Your a beautiful young lady with a caring wonderful, supportive husband. I know so many woman, who longed for children, and when they finally gave up trying, or adopted, that is when they got pregnant. I think when they mentally put the block down, it happened…….you never know…..God Bless
I have enjoyed your blog & Instagram account so much! You truly have an amazing gift & talent! You are beautiful & gentle & kind! I am so sorry stress has had its effects on you, I know that’s tough! Your vulnerability is strong & brave! There are so many people & women who struggle with stress, anxiety, depression & infertility all too often & it doesn’t seem fair! I will be thinking & praying for you during this time! I know you are concerned about your health as you should be! Not sure if you have ever heard of Plexus….they are plant based supplements to help the body achieve health from the inside out! Me & my family have been using Plexus for a while & couldn’t be happier with the way we feel! There have been so many lives changed because of these gut health products! May be worth looking into! Again I will be praying for you!!!! Love & hugs!
Girl, you are such a beautiful soul and I just want to reach out and give you a big hug! ? Take care of yourself….and lot’s of puppy snuggles are helpful!
I was about to say exactly the same thing, Marian! Be kind to yourself, sweet girl. Lots of love going your way from Iowa.
Yes, Liz … these are the natural supplements I referred to yesterday. And since Jess has mentioned Plexus by name, I’m glad to see someone else testify to the personal benefits they have received. Their products have truly changed the lives of many in our family. Improved gut health is far-reaching, and it would be so wonderful if you could experience similar life-changing results. Love and Blessings, Liz
Ooops! That should be “Kathleen!”
Sweet, friend, I also feel your pain. I got shingles after having radiation treatments for breast cancer. I really had no idea that my stress level was so high. ( I had been advised years before by my doctor that the shingles vaccine really didn’t work, so because it was so expensive, I didn’t get it.) My outbreak is on my scalp, ear and jaw. I say is because after 3 years it has never gone away. Like you I have always lived under a lot of stress, some from things I could control and most from things I could not. I am praying for you and your husband, that you will be able to rest in the Lord and allow him to be in control each day.
Sending blessing and hugs,
Janet
I can never remember the quote from Oprah, but it’s something about God whispering, and if you don’t listen, eventually he throws bricks. Guess you got bricks. ?
I have spent the last 3+ years taking care of everyone but myself. My bricks were delivered a few months ago.
Please stop everything in order to take care of you. It’s so important and you will be so glad you did. I know I feel so much better in every way – physically, mentally, and emotionally – and my husband appreciates that I am doing this.
You can do it! Just begin. Blessings.
Make an extra effort to do things that calm you – shingles lives on the edge of your nerves and makes that anxiety worse!
It will get better, have faith, until then stay calm, eat nourishing food, gentle exercise, rest well and try Headspace’s anxiety meditation series (you might have to subscribe) but it’s awesome.
I’m so sorry you are Go I,g through a difficult time in your life. For right now take care of yourself !! First thing is to handle those shingles!? One step at a time sweety!!! As far as your weight , I gained a lot myself this year and finally decided to get off my butt and go for a walk every morning! No matter what!! Take your beautiful puppy!
Have you gone to an endocrinologist to have all your hormones checked? Check your 17 ohp (congenital hyperplasia) which could be related to the PCOS. Some people can have and not know it. I have it (since birth) and taking a small dose of steroids can help you get pregnant if tests indicate an issue. You could also ask naturopath to run the tests. So sorry you r now struggling with shingles.
You’re beautiful, in every way!! You’re way too hard on yourself!! Sending prayers for healing quickly!
Such a lovely soul you are. It’s been my experience that those are the ones that carry the empathy of the world on their shoulders and leave little room for empathy toward themselves. You are worthy. Remember that and know that the world would be a darker place without your gifts, your nakedness of courage and that forever sweet smile. Rest now and breathe deeply until you are well. We are rooting for you Liz. You’ve got this and I am praying for you sweet lady.
Wow. I. Am. Impressed. By your courage and strength. It takes people so many years before they are even able to utter the good going on in their life with others and here you are baring it ALL so genuinely, openly and honestly. You my friend are refreshing. You are so strong, Liz!!!! Take this setback for what it is…a setback and press forward, SLOWLY. Take each day as it comes and look to your loving husband, family and US, your IG framily! We love you. Your strength and courage toward everything that has been thrown at you in this life is encouraging to me. I wish i was there to give you big hugs but Im in NJ so here is a hashtagged one. #BIGHUGS
Hello Liz Marie,
My name is Sue, I’m 63 & I live in FL. I truly enjoy following you on Instagram & you’re Blog. “Stress” – has been with me too,
most my life. Which led to weight gain & other things too. I just wanted to share, I started a Keto way of eating. I found a Dr. Eric Berg on YouTube…he talks about “stress” & “eating” & “sleeping” . He is a Nutritionist & his short videos have been such a help to me. Just want to share that, if you want to check him out. #1, I know God is with you every step of the way and He will help you have the strength to make the choices that need to be made. May God’s LOVE for YOU fill … you to the Tip Top !!!
Oh sweet Liz, snugle up with your fur babies and take time for yourself. I myself have also had the shingles. They are miserable. Your body is telling you whoa slow down honey. Time for some rest and relaxation. I have fyibromyglia and there are days that when I dont listen to my body and the next day I will pay for it. So please listen to yours hon. All your readers are praying for you anz pulling for you. ❤
Hi. This is Agata from Poland. I recommend you to start eating only raw food for all yours health problems. Nothing cooked, boiled, fried. You need slow juicer. Juices and salads all day. Please visit YT channel ODMLADZANIE NA SUROWO. (Polish channel) Mariusz speaks English very well. All information you get from him. Send him a message. He helped many people. Greetings from Poland. Take care.
Sweet Liz, I pray that our Heavenly Father lay his hands upon you and heal you from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. Father God, I ask you to bless Liz and Juan with a beautiful family and we know it’s all in your time Lord. Give Liz peace in her heart, and allow her the rest she needs to be able to breathe in & out without an anxiety stricken breath Father God. By your stripes I ask you to heal Liz and I thank you precious mighty God! In your holy name i pray, Amen-
I am racked with panic & anxiety always, and I pray you and I continue to find the grace to help us through our days. I’m right here beside you honey, and I am praying fervently for you beautiful friend!
Blessings, Ann
Wow. I’m so sorry to hear of you having the shingles. I know it’s very painful. I hope you can find relief ASAP. I am twice your age & have had many of the conditions you’ve described. Not fun, but with your determination & supporters you will succeed! You have inspired me to healthier with better food choices & exercise. Thank you & God bless, Liz.
Liz, it could not have been easy to post. So many beautiful and encouraging comments. You are a beautiful soul. An, amazing person to share about yourself. You are truly an inspiration to us all. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I ask the Lord to give you comfort, give you strength, give you peace and heal your body.
Sending hugs to you and will continue to lift you in prayer.
I fully understand your stress and will be praying for you. In the last 10 years stress has caused a heart attack and shingles on my face. It’s hard to let go and be kind to ourselves but so necessary.
I couldn’t agree more with you, Danielle, about the coffee. I never realized how much it contributed to my stress and anxiety until I stopped drinking it. What a difference! Coffee gave me so much energy, but it was artificial (caffiene) energy. I was always running at 100 miles an hour and could get a lot done, but it was taking a toll on my body. Big Time! Nervous energy, not sleeping, anxiety attacks, etc. Just giving up coffee helped me to feel so much better, mentally and physically.
I’m sure you have heard this before but look into the Keto diet! It is extremely good if you have PCOS. You will stay in my prayers ??
Liz,
I am so glad I found your blog this past year. You would never know that you are dealing with depression from all of the beautiful things you post and from sharing your beautiful life. I had shingles when I was 15 Years old, which has lead to an 11-year stent of antidepressants and anxiety medication. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are beautiful, and you’ll get there. And so will I. Now go hug that handsome hubby and precious puppy and know that God put you here for a reason, even if it’s only to help people like me ❤️
Good for you Liz to be aware of how you feel and where you need to be to feel better. Weight loss, reducing stress are all hard to do. I know you are motivated so I say you go girl!!! You can do this. My hubby and I came into Michigan and had 4 days near your shop to relax and refresh. We both said sitting under the stars of our cute cottage we rented in the hot tub that we need to have these “mental health” mini vacations more often. It was fun to come to The Found Cottage. I had a great time in the shop and bought some great treasures. I also enjoyed the shop hop and going to all the other great shops in the area. Sometimes you need to leave the stress and everyday life and just have some me time. Wishing you lots of well wishes as your new journey of feeling better starts. Shingles is horrible and I hope you begin to feel better.
xoxo
Kris
I’m sending you hugs and prayers, sweetheart. My son and his wife have been struggling with infertility and my daughter suffers from anxiety. Just know that you are loved by so any of us out here, and that we love you and support you.
Luci,
I love everything about this. Growing up, my father always said, “Happiness is a state of mind. And it is up to you to sustain it.” Nothing has ever been more true for me. Gratitude and prayer will always carry you. When it gets too tough to stand, kneel.
XO,
Margaret
You do need to take control of those areas in your life. You’ve taken the first step by recognizing that. Take baby steps. You don’t have to solve everything in one action or right away. You are relearning new habits. Remember that it takes about 27 days to establish new habits. If you fall off the wagon, don’t waste your time berating yourself, just get back on the road to better health. Be sure to take time to get outside. Nature can help our mental attitudes so much. Take time to breathe. You can do this. Wishing you well and good health!
We all have been there, seasons where even in the midst we recognize something needs to change but don’t yet have the strength to make the choices necessary. I wrote about my own “return to health” journey just recently. Two things that really helped me keep my mind on track (because isn’t that where health truly starts?) is listening to The Brendon Show podcast (motivational speaker on disciplines and high performance habits) and reading Rachel Hollis’ Girl Wash Your Face book and listening to her Dais podcast. Both of these mentors truly changed my life, but I made myself listen to them every single day so my thoughts did not dictate my feelings. My heart goes out to you and your health. If you can find a way to transform your thoughts, I believe that may be a key for you. I love every thing you do and have been an avid follower for a long time. Prayers for you today.
Your “confession” of sorts has been so encouraging to me! I’m struggling right now to lose the weight I’ve put on in the last year and man, it’s tough! Knowing someone else shares that struggle makes it a little easier.
I am about to turn 59 this year and my health has suffered for over years now from three decades of a stressful career that led to a complete breakdown ending in me walking away forever because I felt I was going to die if I stayed. I was 20 lbs overweight and drinking on weekends to wash away my stess. Long story short I developed diabetes 6 months ago, have completely given up alcohol and workout 30 minutes a day doing something at home I really enjoy. My body is coming around but the diabetes has wrecked me and the anxiety remains. I visited Mayo Clinic they told me my illness was genetic but stress definitely played a role. I worry a lot about people’s judgement and criticism also have some super Type A tendencies. I too am very self critical which I think is something I do to myself before someone else can. I’m striving to let go of people and situations that bring stress into my life, I hope you can find a way to let some of your triggers go so you don’t end up where I am now. Focus on what really matters: yourself, your loved ones and furry friends and shut off the negative self talk and the pressure you put on yourself….life is truly short I wish I knew then what I know now because I would have done things that concern my health much differently. I wish you all the best.
thanks for sharing. I would encourage you to see an integrative Doctor and be tested for MTHFR especially due to fertility issues. (mthfr.net) You may also have low vitamin B levels as well and don’t forget to take organic magnesium at night, the great relaxer to help you sleep. I wish you good health. When we get that right in our bodies….the sky can seem bluer.
No advice from this out-of-shape grandma. Just know I’ll be praying for you. Maybe one piece of advice: Never give up.
Ran across your feed today and felt drawn to read your post. Just wanted you to know I’ll be putting you on my prayer list. Having gone through some serious health issues I can truly relate. Going through all these things I had one constant.. and that was GOD. So faithful. Ps.34:5 .Be blessed?
Liz, First off I am so very sorry. My heart truly aches for you. Have you been tested for MTHFR? I have been having lots of health issues and my dr suggested this test and turns out I do have this gene mutation and in my research I am seeing it has a huge correlation with miscarriages and still births. Many prayers to you and that one day your arms will be full of your own babes!