This isn’t the post I intended to write today, but I had to get this out. I couldn’t keep this to myself & I felt in my heart that I wanted to include you guys in on all of this even if it was a little soon. Here it is… Last week Monday I gave birth to our eighth baby at 10 weeks. I can’t even begin to describe my feelings because I don’t think I have even fully processed this loss yet. I usually wait a while to talk about it on the blog when we miscarry so I can have my thoughts gathered, but this one feels different. This one was such a blow that I felt like my feelings were spilling into every aspect of my life and I didn’t want to make you guys wonder & I thought just maybe by getting this out while it was still so raw it could help me start to heal. I feel so empty since our baby left this earth last week & I have thought about that baby entering heavens gates every night as I fall asleep since then & I have prayed that someone is taking care of that sweet baby like I would have here on earth. We said goodbye to our baby at 12:23am on Monday morning & Monday night we had a photoshoot scheduled with some local creatives here on the farm. I didn’t want to cancel even though I was in so much pain physically & mentally. I felt gross, bloated, exhausted, mentally drained, but I knew doing this shoot would be a wonderful gift to document this day and the love between Jose & I so we did the shoot & I’m so thankful for everyone who made me feel pretty & documented this for us. I was in a daze the whole time, but it kept my mind busy & gave me a purpose on this day where I could have just spent it grieving. Thankful for creative friends & a loving husband who can make me smile while in the trenches…
This was our eighth baby that we had to say goodbye to too soon. This was our eighth child that we fell in love with from the moment we had a positive pregnancy test & had such high hopes for. This is the eighth time that we started planning the babies entire life before their little life even started outside my womb… this was the eighth time that I had to endure the pain of dealing with miscarriage & losing a baby. I can’t begin to describe the pain of it all. I couldn’t even tell you how my brain is trying to fathom this entire loss from baby one to baby eight right now, but this is the eighth time I’ve had to lose a baby & this is the eighth time that I’ve had to wonder if I would ever be a mom here on earth all while I had to say goodbye after painfully laboring knowing I would be giving birth to a baby who had already left this earth. It sounds so graphic now that I’m typing it out… but this is miscarriage. There is nothing pretty about it. It’s real life. It’s painful. It’s ugly. & it’s nothing that you will ever fully heal from. This one hit harder than any of them before for a few reasons. This baby was a complete surprise. We had taken a break for a few years & we weren’t trying for this baby with assistance from our normal fertility treatments. This baby was a surprise gift that we were so ready to welcome into our lives. We just had a feeling that this was the one. Everything felt right, I was growing at a rapid rate, I felt the nausea & the sleepiness among other symptoms, & just as suddenly as the baby came into our lives, the baby left us just before we were in the “safe zone” as they say. To top it all off the day after this photoshoot we had a doctor visit to make sure everything was ok & it was the worst experience with a doctor of this entire 6 year fertility journey we have been on. It was my first time at this office & it will hopefully be my last. I will share more of that later, but while trying to heal I have also had to try not to harbor anger or hopelessness after that horrible appointment I had. It’s just a lot & I can’t wait to be able to process the whole thing so I can share more with you guys and have a more clear outlook on this mess we are in. But for now I just couldn’t hold it in any longer because my heart is hurting & it didn’t feel authentic to try to go on with sharing with you guys without talking about this.
The due date was quite similar to all of our other babies, which is March 25th… my birthday. Not sure what any of this means, what God is leading us to do, why we keep losing our babies, when God will bless our family with children, & where we go from here. But what I do know is that God is with us, we will make it through this, & that God is good all the time. I also know that I’m so thankful to be able to share this journey with you guys in the highs and the lows & I’m thankful that you are here through it all. I hope this explains any questions you guys have noticed through my posts lately, my absences during all my pregnancy naps, my sadness through the loss, & anything else… You guys sometimes know me better than I know myself so I know a lot of you were wondering. So, our 8th baby is in heaven… where do we go from here? Stay tuned…
Something that has got me through this past week of mourning is sitting in our garden & listening to this song below on repeat out there. Sometimes dancing, sometimes crying, but always thinking of our babies in heaven…
Dancing In The Sky
Tell me, what does it look like in heaven?
Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever?
Have your fears and your pain gone away?
‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
So tell me, what do you do up in heaven?
Are your days filled with love and light?
Is there music? Is there art and invention?
Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?
‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
Since you arrived
Photos by Anna Marie Vandenberg
I pray that God will protect your womb and that He will restore to you joy.
So so sorry Liz…peace be with you.
Oh honey girl. I truly have no words. I weep for you and Jose. It’s inconceivable. May you be granted a peace that surpasses all human understanding.
My heart just breaks for you… so sorry about your loss of this little one.
I am so sorry that you have to journey through this pain. I pray for your peace and for your dreams to come true. You are so brave and strong for sharing such raw emotions and grief. Sending you all my love and light.
Oh my this is heartbreaking and yet through it all your looking to the Lord and his plan and purposes for your family. May God bless you with incredible joy and with many children. My heart hurts for you both and will be praying for you. Your pictures are stunning your so beautiful inside and out!
Emily F says
I am so so sorry!!! Sending you love! And praying for peace and understanding and strength.
You, and these pictures, are absolutely stunning.
No words. Just prayers. God is > than tbe ⬆️&⬇️.
Words cannot express how devastating this loss is — again. I pray God soon will reveal his plans for you.
I’m so sorry to hear. All I can think of is hugs for you and Jose’. A million, billion hugs. And more hugs.
Thinking of you both. Prayers on your rainbow. Thinking of those 8 blessed children dancing around floral filled fields in Heaven.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.
I also went through infertility and just one loss. I cant imagine the pain you are feeling. The only thought that helped me was knowing that we are only here on earth a short time but we are in heaven for an eternity. You are a mother and one day you will be with your children. God has given you a great husband to lean on I pray for you each day and hope that your sorrows are one day healed.
My heart breaks for you both… if any two people are so deserving of a child.. it’s you two! I’ll keep you in my prayers! Stay strong!
So sorry for your loss. May God lead you where you will find your blessing. He did me.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Lots of love and prayers for you Liz. ???
I am so sorry. I have to admit, I envy your strong faith. As a true Believer, I would hope that I. too, would remain steadfast in my faith and hope, but I also am afraid I would cower to hopelessness and anger. For your strength and courage, I admire you and know that God recognizes it as well and will bless you accordingly.
Love and prayers to you both.
I am so sorry to read this and it sucks. I hate hearing these things, having gone through fertility treatments and an early miscarriage myself. I know no words I say will truly help heal, but please know I’m sending love and prayers.
All the hugs to you and Jose. I can’t imagine how broken your heart must feel. There are no words, but know you have a whole community praying you on.
My heart is truly breaking for you. I am praying for healing and hope for you and Jose.
I pray that you know that you will get to raise your eight babies in Heaven when this life is over. They are yours and the day will come that you will be with them, loving them, kissing them and being the mom and dad to them you dream of being!! It’s so hard now, but please know it’s not forever!! You will be with them, not in this earthly life, but in Heaven!!! ?
My heart truly hurts for you. I only suffered one miscarriage and can’t imagine 8. Please don’t lose your faith and amazing love of life. God does have a plan for you and Jose. ❤️
Robin Miller says
He has a plan for you. There will be a joyful reunion one day but for now, you must wait and remain blessed by Jose. God cover her in peace and bring her comfort. She is strong but still human. Hugs sweet girl.
Liz, I am so sorry. Now I know how it feels. I just had a very early miscarriage. I found out a was pregnant last week and a couple of days later it was all gone. The doctor said it was a chemical pregnancy or very early miscarriage and baby didn’t stick. I have been researching and found that a lot of pregnant women with a history of recurrent miscarriages take progesterone supplements (not sure if you take them). I am praying for you and for all of us in thus fertility journey. It is hard breaking. I also starting a new eating habit doing Keto. I read that Keto makes you more fertil and helps with PCOS. Maybe you would like to read more about it. love and prayers!
Laurie Fisher says
Oh my!! After reading this, my heart is breaking for you both! Words aren’t enough to surround you and Jose with the healing love that you need! I pray for your speedy recovery Liz, and that there is an amazing light at the end of this horrible time for you. Love and hugs to y’all!
I don’t know what to say other than I pray for a healthy recovery in body and spirit, and that I wish I could give you all of the hugs you needed.
Linda F says
There are no words that can help with the hurt and loss you feel when you lose a precious baby, no matter how old they are. Allow yourself to go through the process and take time to heal your body and mind. Rely on each other and your Faith to help get you through the hard days. Loving thoughts and prayers to you and Jose. From someone who’s been there too. ?
Michelle Geissler says
I am so very sorry for your loss. Praying you feel peace as you seek out God’s path for your lives. If you ever have any interest in infant adoption; please contact me. I would be happy to talk to you about the process. We were blessed to adopt a little boy 3 years ago after 7 years of longing to be parents. God has a plan. Hold on to that hope.
joanne Kingsbury says
Omgosh Liz I’m soo very sorry to hear this. Prayers to you and Jose. Keep the faith as I know you will and you will be blessed in God’s time.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I have been there, too, with three of my own and am also dealing with the loss of our two girls who came back chromosomally abnormal after our first round of IVF last month. My reproductive endocrinologist speaks very highly of Dr. Braverman out of NYC. It is my understanding that he is the go-to doctor for recurrent miscarriages and you don’t have to be in New York to meet with him. He does phone appointments and works hand in hand with your doctor in an attempt to identify the issues. I know now is not the time, but I hope this info may help you and your family in the future to get some of the answers you are looking for. May God bless you through this harrowing journey of infertility. By the way, your photos are beautiful! XO, Lisa
froot loop says
Prayers for God’s comfort, peace and strength for you both!
I am so sorry. Praying for you, your health, Jose, and your babies ❤️
Dear Liz and Jose,
I truly am sorry for your pain. I have prayed for you guys also for so long. I know God has a plan for you both. Keep your faith close in these hardest of times. But just believe it your heart that God will free you from your pain. Do you ever speak to our Lady? She is there for you also. Pray to her for strength and guidance. Love, Maggie
My prayers are with you angel
Sue-Lane Perry says
Liz and Jose….what can anyone say that will bring you comfort while you heal? I hope you feel the arms of all of us around both of you in a loving supportive hug. Praying this will be the last loss you will feel….?
Remember God is good all the time, all the time God is good, yes indeed. Prayers being sent up for you. God bless.
Jenni T says
Your faith is so inspiring. I am so sorry for your most recent loss (and all of the others). I pray that this will all make sense someday and that you’ll have the baby(ies) on Earth that you want-no matter how that happens. ❤️
Debble McR says
I have nothing but prayers and hugs for you and Jose. God bless your little number 8. I am sure there is a perfect plan from God and I hope that is revealed without another heartbreak like this one. I mourned and will always mourn the loss of my two babies. I was blessed with a daughter who just blessed me with a two week old son. She is having her struggles since birth.
Truly heartfelt prayers to you and Jose. Bless you both.
The second time we lost a baby my hubby was working very long hours. I found myself very alone. I tried to be happy and positive, but I was alone. I knew that I needed my Savior and I needed to be healed. I was broken, heart and soul. I honestly totally believe that Christ can and will take away all of our pain and heartache. The atonement is deeper than just covering our sins.
The problem was I wasn’t entirely sure HOW to give this pain to my Savior. But mostly – I wasn’t ready to give it up either. Perhaps I felt I deserved it -or needed to have the pain – because getting over it seemed so shallow and uncaring for the little tiny life I just lost. I think I was punishing myself with the hurt.
I tried talking with my friends, even my own mother – but it didn’t ease my pain.
One night I simply poured out my heart to my husband. I said much the same things that I did to my girlfriends and mother. . . But this time is was different. I looked at my husband, and as I told him all my heart ache, the reasons it wasn’t fair, the reasons I felt like I was being punished, the reasons why I felt abandoned by God, why I felt alone, like a bad person and so, so much more. . . as i told my husband all of these things, I saw his countenance change. I saw his eyes fill up with sorrow, as he felt my pain. Almost immediately I felt a huge relief in my hurt. We were in this together, and it was his pain too. As I let it all out I could see my husband literally bear my burden, and take it from me. We yolked this trial and burden and together we would get through it.
I learned some great lessons from that night. #1. My husband is not only my best friend, but a partner. I realized how strong our bond truly is and connected we are. I realized that I needed HIM, more than i needed my girlfriends or mother. This was OUR trial. HE could only empathize with me. WE could do it together better than apart. HE understood what I was going through better than anyone else.
The second lesson that I learned was HOW to GIVE that burden to my Savior. Much like I did with my husband, I needed to sit at the feet of my Savior and pour out my soul to Him. All my heartaches, pains, frustrations and feelings of inadequacy. I needed to leave my burdens at His feet so He could pick them up, and pick me up too. He already bought those pains, for me and for you. He has paid the price, He wants to help us.
And much like my husband helped to yolk this trial with me, my Savior will do the same. Just as I could see the hurt transfer to my husband, my Savior can take that hurt from me – because only HE can truly empathize. Just as I realized the strength of the relationship of my husband and I, I am grateful for my “other” Best Friend. I know that my understanding of the atonement is limited, but I learned a HUGE lesson of HOW to ALLOW the Savior to heal you from more than just sin, but from heart ache and pain as well.
“Mine eyes have yet to behold His glory, but I know that He lives, for my heart has felt His presence.”
This is one of my favorite quotes. I know Jesus Christ lives, I know that He can heal all pain. I know because I have felt His loving arms encircle me at times when I could not stand, but only kneel. I am thankful for this knowledge.
Waking up to your post broke my heart. I pray that God is holding you close during this period of heartache in your life. Please know that He is preparing to shower you with maternal blessings that will complete the wonderful life that you are already living out. His timing isn’t our timing but His timing is best. Stay strong and keep believing. God bless you both.
My wife is an avid reader and follower of the blog, and she shared with me the news of this most recent loss. Our hearts break for you and your husband. We sympathize with you, and we identify with the physical and emotional pain you’re feeling, having worked through miscarriage ourselves. I believe we go to the same church, and I’m sure you hear it time and time again – but if you’re ever feeling like you need a listening ear, to speak with and grieve with someone who feels your pain, I know my wife would be more than willing. Your story is not finished, and your faith through all of it is inspiring. God will use it for good. Prayers for you and your husband.
So sorry for your loss….prayers for you & Jose.
My heart is going out to you. What a beautiful day it will be when we can see our precious babies in heaven <3
Oh honey I’m so sorry. Have you tried taking progesterone?
My heart is truly breaking for you and Jose. I am so sorry for the loss you have gone through.
Carly Croft says
Liz, You are such a strong , beautful young women..you have been through more than the average women could handle but you have built such an amazing life and home with your loving husband and your fur babies..God does have a plan for you so live one day at a time ..and when you feel there are days that you have to hide from the world to make it through ..do that…for now I suggest a day of cuddling with the family you have made..take time to breath…you and Jose are in my thoughts and prayers…Carly
So very very sorry. Sending peace to your heart.
I will pray for your family. You are so strong and brave for being honest and open. Take refuge in the beauty around you.
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for what you have had to go through. I’m praying for you and Jose. May the Lord bless you today and all the days ahead. Our love goes out to you.
You are beautiful! Inside and out! You are both in my prayers during this time of healing. I know one day you will be blessed with a perfect little one and you will be the very best Mom!
Liz, you are such a strong woman. My heart is with you and your husband.
Thank you for sharing Liz. I’m sure it’s not always easy to open up about something so painful, but I hope you know that it is incredibly helpful for many others going through recurrent miscarriages. Your strength and seeing your strong faith help me as I go through my infertility journey. Thank you!
I’m so sorry for your loss! You and Jose are in my prayers!
Oh how I wish I had the perfect words to comfort you. I am so sorry. So very sorry. Those words don’t begin to help. Let the pain come and the tears roll. I am praying for you and your husband. For God to pour His love into all the broken pieces. For Gods peace and comfort to embrace you more than ever. For your trust and faith to give you divine assurance that He is with you always. That the seeds of hope remain even through this unimaginable loss.
Nicole Kober says
Liz, It absolutely breaks my heart to read this. I don’t know if you know me or not (I think that you follow me @appleseedsandsage), I’m in the shop quite a bit, and went to school with Jose. My oldest son, Mason, passed away in his sleep when he was 3 years old and while I know that every loss and every situation is different, I can not imagine having to go through that over and over again. There is absolutely no pain and nothing worse than losing a child. I hope and pray that one day you are blessed with a baby that you can hold in your arms and watch grow. It just doesn’t seem fair that parents that are as wonderful as you and Jose have to face this difficult journey. I am beyond sorry for your loss and admire your strength and courage.
Marisa Reis says
I’ve lost 3 babies at the 13 weeks, after I had my son, the last one was 6 years ago and still hurts today. I hope God give you both corage to keep trying to have a child and that someday her/his smile fill your farm. I could imagine your son/daughter running after the sheep, the dogs, the cats and the chicks. Hope is the word that you have to keep in your mind. A big hug, Marisa
I am so sorry Liz. I pray that God wraps you all in his arms and carries you through this difficult time. And I pray that you all are blessed in the future.
Your faith is amazing and so uplifting. Thank you for sharing with us and thank you for the song. I am so sorry for you loss. I have a son in heaven and this song expresses so much of how it feels. Praying for you and your family. Jeremiah 29:11
I am so sorry. You and Jose are an AMAZING couple. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story.
Liz, I feel so much reading your post here, I can only imagine how your feelings must be overflowing. Please keep up your good thoughts and know how many prayers are being said for your littlest one. Much love x
I am just so very, very sorry…
It gutted me to read this because it hits so close to home. I had wondered, and was hoping and praying this blessing might be the case. Now I pray for your comfort, healing, and that you feel surrounded by His love.
Heather Congden says
I can’t even find words right now for you.. my heart and prayers are with you. You looked absolutely stunning in those pictures. My sister and her husband have went through a lot of what you have.. it took 9 years the journey is so painful. You are so strong and God is with you during this difficult time. I don’t even know you and I wish I could hug you. Take all the time you need, there is not time limit on grieving.
Tinicia Burns says
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending so many prayers ! ?
So very sorry for your loss… sending prayers and hugs..
Lauren Wilbun says
I absolutely love the life you live – all I want to do is come live with you and Jose on the farm and be your best friend! I’m sorry for this terrible part of life that you two have to encounter! You are a strong, courageous, mighty women and I wish nothing but peace for you ❤️
Sending prayers and love to you and Jose. So very sorry for your loss.
Hugging you in spirit, both of you. May the God of all comfort give you love and just that…so much comfort. I am so sorry. We all love you, Liz…❤️❤️❤️ I will be praying for you.
I’m so sorry. I have nothing to offer you but my prayers. I wish I had Wise words, or comforting words…but I know they won’t help right now, so I will pray.
Sending all the love and prayers for you and Jose. I pray for the day that your baby is born into this world screaming and placed in your arms as healthy as can be. I admire your bravery in sharing and the faith you still have and show in the Lord. Thank you for shining your light. ?
God bless you Liz, Jose and your babies! There are no words! I pray for strength, love and guidance! So very sorry ❤️
Oh my goodness this breaks my heart to read. I am oh so sorry for your loss and although there is absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to take away the pain you two must be feeling know that there are lots of preyers, positivity, hugs, love, encouragement being sent y’alls way from all over.
Sending you so much love today and a tight hug!
Suzanne Reynolds says
Oh I am so sorry for your loss Liz. There are not enough or right words to express that. I wish you and Jose continue to find peace and love and comfort through this terrible time. Your strength is amazing. Love always. ?
Sending you prayers of healing and peace. I have been following you’re journey for a year or so now and find so much joy in the things you share. May God’s grace embody you through this painful time. ?
Oh Liz, I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed your blog for years and have been hoping for a day that you would be able to grow your family in the way you want. There is nothing I can say to make it better but please know I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
I truly am sorry! I had tears rolling down my face as I tried to read one of your most personal posts. Is I write this I’m listening to the song. It’s beautiful!! I know no matter what I say the pain inside you will not disappear. So just sending you huge huge hugs.
Love, Jenny ❤❤
Liz and Jose, may I be part of this out pouring of love and just say that I am so glad you have faith, that your love for God is still present and that you do believe that joy comes in the morning. There is nothing we can say that will ease the pain but we walk alongside you and uplift you in prayer. May the Lord who loves you as his dearly beloved children also lavish upon you grace, peace and understanding. I pray for your family and I pray that it grows.
praying that you feel God’s loving arms wrapped around you!
I am so sorry.
I am truly sorry for both of you on your lost!! I will keep you in my prayers asking God to give you inner peace and strength!!
Oh, Liz and Jose, there are no words. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God fills all the broken pieces of your heart with His love. Thank you for sharing your story. We are also approaching one of our angel babies birthdays and that song is a sweet reminder of the precious gifts we have waiting for us in heaven one day.
Doreen @ Hymns and Verses says
Tears streaming down my face as I read this post. When we don’t understand, we have to trust that the One who holds us in His hand has a plan for us. He’s got all of your babies in his hands too and they are loved with an everlasting love! Praying for you and Jose and so thankful for your voice to share so openly the real and raw of life. Praying for comfort that only He can give.
Sweet darling Mama…
I ache for you….Many prayers and thoughts for you and Jose right now. Who knows why these things happen..I surely don’t .what I do know is, that God has heard your tender prayers and that He does indeed love you more than you could ever imagine. I am sure it aches his heart as well to see you suffer so, He is Your Father after all. I also know that He does answer our prayers..and that when the time comes, we will know all the answers to our questions.I pray that you and your sweet husband may be lifted by the Comforter…and that your tears may be wiped away someday. You are such a LIGHT LIZ MARIE…a LIGHT…..don’t ever forget that. Much love from
There are no words…just whispered prayers through tears.
My heart breaks for you both. I can’t imagine the pain you are going through. I pray for your comfort and I pray that you get that precious babe on earth that you both deserve ? I know it’s all in his timing – but praying ?
Thank you for sharing your heart even at the hardest time ? I know there are others that need to hear this and you are “holding” their hand through the same journey.
Sarah Jones says
I’m so sorry, Liz. Always keeping you two in my thoughts and sending love your way. <3
I’m a so so very sorry. I will be praying over you for a baby to enter your life
Sue LaFranchise says
Oh Liz… when you asked for prayers last week I prayed this wasn’t the reason. Amazed that you both could do the photo shoot and look so amazing, but you’re love shines through even this heartbreak. None of us knows what God’s plan is here, but surely you see the support of your community. I hope you can feel all the arms around you both, and the love we are all sending your way. Your heartbreak is shared, but that doesn’t diminish your own…. ?.
A tender kiss on the cheek for both you and Jose, with love. (I can say that, I’m old enough to be your mom.)
Liz and Jose’ I am so sorry for your loss. I have no words just so much empathy and love for you both. Your faith is inspiring. The love that you both have for each other truly shows through in all of your gorgeous photos.
Emily Connolly says
My heart just breaks for you. You are such a light in this dark world. ❤️❤️❤️
Lynn Wilson says
Dearest Liz, no words can ever express the sadness that I feel for you and Jose. You are beautiful inside and out and all I have to offer are sincere prayers for your soul to heal! I will continue to include you and Jose in my prayers and hope that God will bless you and grant you peace❤️❤️
I’m so very sorry, Liz. I wish I had the words to comfort you. You and Jose are in my prayers ❤️
Prayers for your family! You two are beautiful parents to all 8 of those babies. And your job is a tough one, only those who have been through it can understand the pain of being a momma to a baby in heaven. ❤️ I just want to say that your outlook is amazing, I am So encouraged by the way you look to God! Don’t ever change that. He created those precious lives, each and everyone, He knit them in your womb and set them apart. ❤️ And He never intended for them to leave you too soon. The enemy is such a thief. But the beauty is God has already won, when He comes back everything the the enemy has ever done will be set right. The thought of the beautiful children you will someday meet and hold and parent in Heaven is so amazing! Prayers for you both as you continue to walk through this. I know that God is fighting for you and there is blessing coming! ❤️ I am Believing with you for your arms to be filled with children here on earth as well. Keep looking to the Father, thank you for sharing. Your vulnerability opens up a beautiful door for prayer warriors to lift you up in prayer!
Liz. I am so sorry for your loss. Throughout our struggle with infertility I have always found it difficult to connect with others. It made me want to withdraw and hide my struggle. You inspire me so much with your open heart, and being so willing to share something so difficult. God has a plan for you! You are amazing. You have a truly one of a kind gift in your ability to share all things both good and bad in a beautiful way. My heart aches today for you. Praying for you and your journey.
Liz this breaks my heart. I am crying reading this. I pray you one day have the family you deserve. It goes to show that beautiful pictures on a blog or Instagram only tell one side of the story. Thank you for being real and sharing with the world
My heartfelt sympathy to your on your loss.
Sweet Mama, my heart is breaking for you and Jose. Asking Jesus to hold you ever closer as you walk this difficult path.
Jackie ward says
I am crying in the import reading your post. I have had one miscarriage but have 3 beautiful children all over the age of 21. I cannot imagine your grief and sadness. My miscarriage was so hard but and you are right about not ever getting over it. I pray you and Jose will soon be parents here on earth. You will be an incredible mom with so much love to give. I know God will bless you and Jose?
Liz I am so sorry for your loss. You are always in my prayers. Sending you love and hugs and kisses and praying that God will heal your heart.
There are just no words that are comforting enough, as I am sure most of us did that follow you on reading your post – I had a cry, I cried for this tiny precious poppet watching over you, I cried for you and your family and your sore hearts……there are no words but tremendous amounts of positive and loving thoughts from across the ocean ❤️
Dear Liz and Jose-
Even though we have never met.. I feel as though we are friends.. weird how IG can do that! I know the pain you are going through, and I am praying for you both! I pray healing for your body Liz and your heart! May God’s love envelop you both— bringing peace that you won’t even understand! Your sweet babes are in the arms of Jesus, and even though that can bring some solace, it doesn’t quite diminish our pain and loss during these times. Just know you are in my prayers and lifted up… blessings to you guys!
Liz and Jose I am so sorry for your loss. I haven’t stopped crying since I read the post. The day I meet you I suspect you we’re pregnant but out of respect I kept quiet. Since then I’ve prayed for you guys everyday in hopes this dream would come true . I’m saddened by this news but I know God has big plans for you guys. There is a child in this world waiting to be with you guys, time will tell when this will be. Don’t loose faith I was told I would never have kids and now have two little ones we call our miracles. God works in misterious ways, and I know he won’t forget you guys. I wish I lived closer or I would come over and give you guys a gigantic hug. For now all I can do is keep you in my prayers and send you lots of love. Thank you again for being amazing mentors at Haven. If there is anything you need please don’t hesitate to ask you have my number. Millie ♥️?
Austin A. says
Lifting you both up in prayer, praying for comfort. I’m deep in grief from our 2nd trimester loss, and I cannot imagine 8. You are such a light in this world, in my life too. I hope our angels cross paths in heaven. Another beautiful song I listen to on repeat is “beam me up” by pink, a beautiful song about miscarriage. Xx.
Judith Kellar says
So so very sorry for your loss beautiful Liz…my heart hurts for you! ❤️
I’m am so sorry for your loss. I am praying God gives you peace.
I think he also calls me to tell you to reach out to registered dietician Laura Schoenfeld.
Deb Pelton says
My heart is heavy with your pain. I know that between your faith and Jose’s love, you’ll be okay. I’m sure tggere is a plan in place and it will all come to fruition in good time. Be happy in your love and may you find peace again.
Dawn Atkins says
Prayers for you and your family.
The grief is so hard because your love was so deep ~our children forever touch our hearts. The deep love between you and Jose brilliantly shines in the photos. May you continue to find strength and comfort in one another and know your babies feel the depth of your love. Prayers to All.
Why Lord? My heart breaks while reading this. I know HE holds you in His hands and loves you, Jose & those sweet babies more than we can ever comprehend (& probably won’t until we are with Him one day). I admire your faith, strength,& rawness. Don’t give up. “Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. We dare not trust the sweetest frame, but holy lean on Jesus’ name.” (One of my fav hymns.) Love you Liz Marie. ??✝️?
Sarah @ Ugly Duckling House says
I’m so, so sorry, Liz. Sending you love. <3
Miss Mustard Seed says
Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart just aches for you and there are no words sufficient.
I do know that God has put motherhood in your heart and He is faithful to give us everything we need. It doesn’t always look the way we want, but it is always for His glory and our best. I have no idea how this loss will be used for good, but I know that God is our Good Father and He gives us good things and He loves you and bottles every tear. And you will have a huge family in heaven. 🙂
Hugs, my friend.
Sandy Pfaff says
Thank you for sharing this with us! My thoughts and prayers are with you both! No words just lots of love being sent your way! I cannot wait to rejoice with you when God gives you the desires of your heart! ❤️?
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear baby. May God give you both His peace and strength.
I am so sorry for your loss. I too have suffered miscarriages, however, 3 but not 8.
I then chose to adopt internationally which has been a blessing. There are many ways to make a family. Never give up hope.
God is so good. I’m praying for you all.
Oh Liz .. my heart is heavy and with you …,and Jose … may God hold you close to His heart as only He can … praying as you walk this journey.. (((❤️)))
Kim Smart says
So very sorry Liz for your loss, praying for you and Jose.
Oh Liz, I am so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine what your heart, body and mind are going through while you try to process this. You are such a beautiful, shining, ray of light and such a joyous encouragement to so many people. I know that God is using you through these losses to reflect Himself to the world. I am praying that His plan & will is revealed to you and Jose and that you can continue to rest in His blessed assurance. Keep smiling, keep believing, keep living and loving life!!! We love you!!!!
And what a gorgeous photo shoot!!! Oh my goodness you are breathtaking <3
Sharon Smith says
So deeply sorry for your loss. I don’t even know what to say. But I will be praying for you and Jose and trust that the Lord will show you what He has for you to do.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a coworker whos daughter experienced the same tragedy over and over. I told her about Dr. Mark Bush who is in Boulder, CO. He is a endocrinologist OB/GYN. He helped here have a healthy full term baby after many disappointments. He also treated my daughter for PCOS. He is renowned in his field. If you have the desire to see if he could help I hope you might be able to use his expertise or at least give you answers. Healing thoughts to you.
Cindy McCoy says
I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words for the loss of a child all my prayers. By the way those pictures are amazing you are so beautiful.
My heart breaks for you ?. Do you have a memorial for your babies? I’ve never told anyone other than my husband, sisters, and mom (and my husband doesn’t understand why I NEED to do this) but when I miscarry, the amniotic sac is always completely in tact and I bury them all in the same area of my moms backyard (only because she’ll live there forever and I move every few years and I needed a permanent location for them). It gives me closure and a place to remember them. I can’t even fathom flushing it all away….it’s too painful and seems like an utter in-justice to the baby. I wish I could say something to actually help….I feel for you on every level, and thank you for sharing your journey.
Although you don’t know me, I’ve followed you for awhile now and feel like I’ve gotten to know you a bit. My heart breaks for you guys and all of your losses. May God bless you and be with you through this time. I pray that you find peace and joy. I just don’t even know what else to say… but I keep you in my prayers! So much love to you and Jose.
Betty Ann says
Heart wrenching! Praying for God’s peace.
So so sorry to hear this. Praying for you and Jose. The photos are beautiful ❤️❤️❤️ And thank you so much for sharing your story.
Reading this made me so heartbroken for you guys. It’s been a heart wrenching fertility journey. Praying for your family, healing and that God would give you a child in the future.
I am soooo sorry for your loss. I had one miscarriage st 12 weeks, then a healthy baby. Then a miscarriage at 6 weeks and later a second baby. I feel for you and your loss very deeply. I send you love and comfort and hugs even though we have never met. I know you will see all those children in heaven someday but I know that doesn’t help a lot right now. Please know we care and feel for you and send you love and comfort and peace.
Oh sweet Liz and Jose. My heart breaks for you both. Sending you so much love and huge hugs!
Liz I’m so sorry about your loss . You’re such an inspiration for writing this . Reading this brought tears to my eyes . I admire you and Jose . I pray that our God almighty gives you the strength through these moments and that the Holy Spirit may Guide you both on the correct path to find answers . You look absolutely look beautiful ❤️❤️
Cindy Baker says
I am so sorry for your loss and pray that the Lord will give you the strength to get through this difficult time.
no words can explain or describe the emotions of having to experience a miscarriage. No one should go through it but unfortunately god do have his plans for everyone who had loss that special someone. I too bad experience what I just gone through, without fertility treatments, unexpected, and felt right with our faith when I found out it was gonna be twins to one having a strong heartbeat to losing that one last of hope that faded away. It’s hard and difficult to heal from this wound and I’m so sorry this had to happen to you. May you find peace and god always be with you through rough moments like these. I hope and pray for you both and you both would make a wonderful parents someday.
I am heartbroken for both of you. Have no words but know that you are being lifted before our Father. I pray His peace upon you.
My heart aches for you and Jose, Sweet Girl. Keeping ALL of you in my prayers.❤
Dear Liz Marie….I’m so very, very sorry. I’ve been praying for you this past year and will continue to hold you up in prayer. We don’t have answers or words but stay strong and when you are unable know that they are those of us (your ‘sisters’ in Jesus) who are standing with you. ??…..C
Megan Mueller says
Oh Liz, my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry. There are no words for what you & Jose must be feeling. When reading, I had an image of you, in heaven, and your eight children all around you giving you the biggest group hug. You will get to see and hold all of your babies someday, you will get to hug & cuddle each and every one. God is keeping them safe for you, and they’re waiting to meet their sweet mama.
Thank you so much for sharing your life, being open & raw. It’s not easy talking about hard things, but know that you are helping people & helping your healing process as well. You are such a sweet mama, and I’m so glad I found your blog/instagram.
Praying for you & much love❤️
Jaime Krueger says
Sending so many prayers your way during this season of heartbreak and uncertainty. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing – it’s a reminder that I am not alone. ❤️
I’m devasted for you both. I pray for you both every day. Please read the book by the Medical Medium. Life changing foods. He has helped so many couple with infertility and other serious health issues. You may even be able to see him in person. He has a gift from God and just wants to help us all. xxx
Becky Jacobsen says
I can offer nothing with words to heal you and Jose’. What I can and will continue to do is pray, for healing and strength. The amount that only God can provide. <3
My heart is aching for your loss. Praying for sweet comfort that only God can give. Thank you for sharing your life with us especially when it’s hurting and hard. May God hear the cries of your ❤️ Psalms 61
Julie Briones says
Typing this with a heavy heart… I’m sorry, Liz and Jose… but, I’m SO thankful your hope lies in the One Who has ALL this completed. If nothing else, you are bringing SO MUCH GLORY TO HIM!!!!
My sympathy for the both of you. My heart aches for you during this difficult time.
Praying for peace and comfort.
God Bless you both.
I am just in tears reading this! I am so sorry for you both! Hugs and prayers❤️
Everyone is writing such profound encouraging things on here and yet all I have is I am so sorry for your and Jose’s loss. Your trust in our Lord is heartening. Sometimes that is all we have since there can be difficulty in seeing his path. Take your time to heal and don’t worry about “us”, this isn’t our life. You owe us nothing and yet you take us on your journey. Blessings!
I cannot begin to fathom the pain you must be feeling. Your strength, honesty, and vulnerability are truly inspiring. Keep trusting God. Keep loving. Keep living. Just keep breathing my dear. ❤️
I am so very sorry! I’ve had one miscarriage and it positively floored me. The date was weird with mine too. I miscarried on the birthday of my former best friend and discovered she was pregnant and due the same day as I was. I spent so much time trying to understand it all-thinking if I could make sense of it, I would hurt less. I wish I could say something that would help you. Please know that I care and I’m sorry.
Maura LoVerde says
Liz, my heart hurts for you and Jose. I admire both of you so much for sharing your heartbreaking journey with us. Please know that love and prayers accompany this message.
Liz, I am so, so sorry! I cannot imagine!! I am amazed by your grace and faith! Prayers for you and Jose!??
My heart is breaking for you both. Prayers for love, peace, comfort and clarity during this difficult time. Sending love from AR. <3
Liz Tobin says
Dear Liz & Jose,
I am so sorry for your loss.
May peace be with you.
” And the Lord, He is the One
who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”
Precious Liz, I am so so sorry. Praying for you and José ❤️
Michele hagood says
Sweet Liz I’m so sorry. May God strengthen you and provide peace and comfort. I will continue praying for you and Jose daily. Beautiful song thank you for posting. ❤➕
Love you Liz. The misery sounds dizzying. I pray you find relief. Your marriage and this photo shoot looks like a little slice of heaven ❤️
I’m so so sorry for your tremendous loss.
I will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong. God has a plan.?
Kathryn Griffn says
Oh, sweet, Liz! My heart aches for you and Jose! I am so sorry! May our sweet, Heavenly Father hold you both in this time. Please don’t lose heart! I had my first living baby at 41 with no help. Completely all God’s doing. Now we have a fun and feisty 10 year old girl who brings us so much joy and laughter. I will continue to cover you and Jose in prayers. Hugs from Texas. Kathryn @TheDedicatedHouse
Tara Zugale says
I’m so sorry Liz. My husband and I are on this fertility rollercoaster as well. We’ve lost 4 babies in the past year and a half. You and Jose will be in my prayers.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jose. I know that pain. Give it all to Jesus. He has a great plan in the works for y’all! I pray it is revealed soon. Love to you both!
Jan Polley says
Liz and Jose,
I’m not one to comment, but you all have been on my heart for quite some time. I don’t know you personally, but I feel like I do because of how much I read and enjoy your blog. You have provided so much inspiration for my old home. I have prayed for you both and I will continue to do so. May God comfort you and I pray that he has a child for you both to love and call your own in the very near future.
Jen @ Girl in the Garage says
Liz, my heart hurts so much for you both. Sending love and prayers to you for peace and comfort. <3 <3 <3
Liz and Jose, Words cannot express how deeply saddened I was to learn of your loss. Please know that you both are in my prayers! You are such a sweet couple – I’m so sorry!
So many tears reading this. Thinking of you And Jose. ❤️❤️
I am so sorry ? My daughter and son in law tried for 8 years…only getting a positive test twice and no heartbeat at 6-8 weeks. After being in the “ unknown infertility” for years, her Dr. Finally diagnosed her eggs not viable. Today they have two beautiful boys through adoption. We are so blessed with them joining our family. Milo is 9 and Logan will be 3 in October. We don’t know how we would be a family without them. I pray for peace for you and that you will know the blessing of being a mama by whatever means God plans.
There really are no adequate words. But I love your steadfast faith and unbrealable hope. Sending you love and peace across the miles. Bless you and keep you and Jose. ❤️
I can’t even……
The song is truly amazing ❤️
Just lost my sister so it’s extra special.
There’s nothing any of us can say to make this right. Just know that you are thought of, prayed for, and that so much love is being sent to you and Jose. I’m so sorry for this loss and all the losses before. Xo
Pamela Jablonski says
Dearest Liz, I am so very sorry you have lost another baby, it breaks my heart to think of what you guys have been through. You and José are in my prayers. I pray God will heal you physically and emotionally and that He will give you children soon. Much, much love, dear one!
LizMarie and Jose, I am at a loss for words but I want you to know I am sending prayers to help get you through this devastating loss. LizMarie, you feel like a sister because of your honest and beautiful posts that touch my heart, and because of that, my heart is aching for you. Thank you for sharing and I hope you heal quickly with all the love and prayers from your blog followers.
My heart breaks for you both. You guys are so beautiful together, so genuine, kind, caring and loving. I pray & hope that one day very soon you are finally blessed. Sending you hugs ( & you can cry any time you want, we’ll listen)
I am so very sorry… you and Jose are in my prayers!
Liz and Jose I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I pray you will feel the love being sent to both of you. Prayers for the loving arms of God to wrap around you and lift you during this difficult time.
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you and Jose. I will be praying for you both. God has this. He loves you and His plans are bigger for us than we can ever dream or imagine. I pray for your broken heart to be healed with unspeakable joy. You are loved sweet girl. Love and hugs, Bonnie
Oh Liz/ my heart hurts for you – we had a miscarriage before we got pregnant- it was the worst – please stay positive – perhaps that’s what was even more special about this pregnancy – you were pre occupied with the going’s on in your life and let God handle the rest – easier said than done most times – I wish I could give you a reason why , why , why, why why,why,why,why,why…. ◀️Represents your 8 Angels – but I do know that it’s all in God’s plan – and we need to remember this over and over again – I say. Jesus I place my trust in you. Much love and peace
My heart breaks for you and Jose. While I haven’t experienced miscarriage, my husband and I have been trying for a baby for almost three years. Doctors, acupuncture, treatment, change in diet, supplements, vitamins etc. it hurts. It hurts so much. My heart hurts for all of us that long to be the Mother’s we are in our hearts. I pray for the day you have your child here on earth.
Heidi Rozema says
I was so very sorry to read this! Last week I think you mentioned you were tired and I wondered if you were pregnant. I can not imagine your pain. I admire your perseverance. It is remarkable. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Robin Dickson says
There are honestly no words that can comfort you or heal your pain. I do know GOD has a plan for each of us and it is so hard to continue to believe when this happens. I know I blamed GOD and was mad at him for taking my baby and then I found him again.
I also had a horrible situation with a doctor with my miscarriage and right after and then I found the perfect one. He told me I was fine but my mind was not and until that was healed I did not try to get pregnant and he prayed with me. I was immediately better upon leaving his office.
I did get pregnant by surprise a few months later and had a son.
I would love for you to check out a friend of mine who could not have children. Her Instagram is growing_gilmers she also is the CEO of @mustardseedadoptionconsultants
I believe in having FAITH as small as a mustard seed.
Oh, Liz and Jose. I am so sorry and I feel such a heaviness on my heart for you both. ? I am just speechless. You are both such amazing souls and deserve nothing more than to be parents. I’m going to keep praying so hard for you. Love, healing thoughts and prayers coming your way. Rest well sweet baby. ❤️
Melissa Ell says
I am so so sorry. I had a feeling that day when I saw you preparing on your IG story and I just stopped and prayed that a God would allow your womb to carry a baby to full term and that you would ….. well you know what I prayed. From one Mama to another I know your day is coming. I know that god has heard your prayers and he is good and will answer them. Sending you and Jose love and prayers. Thank you for trusting us with your baby. We will hold each of them close to our hearts too
I’m so very sorry… you bring so much peace and joy into my life…I’m so, so sorry… i hope peace finds you…
Bree Vander Weerd-Pettijohn says
Lots of prayers and big hugs to you both! My heart aches for what your going through.
This is heart breaking news. I am so sorry for your loss. I know the sadness of miscarriage and you and Jose will be in my prayers. After reading your blog this morning I have thought about you two many times and what great parents you will be. ❤️ Thank you for being so open about miscarriage. They are so sad and are not talked about so by you talking about yours and your pain, you help so many people. Thank you
Praying for peace and healing for you and Jose. He is near the broken-hearted. I’m so sorry to hear of this loss.
Brandy Richardson says
Praying for strength during this difficult time. Sending love and hugs!
I truly hope you can FEEL the sincere outpouring of love and caring in the words that all of these messages convey to you and Jose. And that they might bring you at least a small measure of comfort and ease your pain just a bit. My heart hurts so deeply for you, and knows firsthand the pain of that loss. I may be only able to offer prayers, but they will be plentiful, and most heartfelt.
I love your words and hate so much to read this sad news. I’m going through my third round of IVF and recently had two back to back egg retrievals….we ended up with 9 embryos. 9 has always been my lucky number and we are just can’t believe it. I’ve had recurrent losses as well and it doesn’t get any easier. So I pray my lucky number will work for you. Lord, let number nine be the one she will take home with her!
So incredibly sorry for this loss. May God lift you up, encourage you, and heap abundant blessings upon you both! ❤️??❤️
Oh Liz my heart hurt for you and Jose when I read your news. As a mother of girls and my oldest daughter lost her baby I just wanted to hug her til the pain went away, and that feeling came over me again when I read your story. I know you know we all grieve with you but when you are doubting just remember your are surrounded by love, thoughts, prayers and many “Moms” who love to try to hug away your pain too.
My heart breaks for you! I am so sorry for your loss. I will say a special prayer for you tonight.
Oh Liz, I am so so sorry. My heart aches with you and for you. I wish I could reach out and ease your unimaginable pain, but I know I can’t do that. I will be praying for you ♥️
Liz & Jose, I am so very sorry to hear this…I lost a baby at 23 weeks. I was a complete angry wreck at everyone, unfortunately. God (mostly God), myself, Marie Osmond (she had severe postpartum depression after delivering her EIGTH child-and i felt she didn’t deserve to have kids if she was depressed about it, which is absolutely terrible looking back on it all, considering it wasn’t even her fault) angry at people who have lots of kids, teenage pregnancies, people who leave babies on the bus, etc…basically everyone on earth.
Your faith is so encouraging & refreshing! I remember when your sheep had a surprise baby & you bawled! You definitely WILL be a mother, I will pray for you daily.
Again, I’m so incredibly sad to hear about your 8th baby in heaven. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I truly believe you & Jose will be blessed w/a baby very soon& I will keep you in my prayers.
My heart goes out to you and Jose. I know the pain far to well but you are so strong it’s so admirable. Keep up your faith. I know this is too fresh but thought I share the clinic that I found (after 3 prior), I found some research on natural killer cells and miscarriage. My natural killer cells where on the high side and no doctor would do the test (simple blood) except sher fertility. The treatment they provided during a cycle was different and has amazing results. Something to think about when you are ready. Sending all my love and prayers!
My heart rejoices that you are continuing to praise God in this storm. Prayers for you, my friend <3
Sarah Dodson says
Oh Liz my heart aches for you and Jose!! I can’t thank you enough for sharing your heart and journey with us! You are so brave, I know how rough this healing time is. Praying over you both
My heart is with you Liz and Jose. My prayers are with you both. Such a tough time.
It breaks my heart reading this. Please please seek out and get acupuncture. everytime youve gone through this all ive wanted to do is tell you is to please seek guidance from Acupuncturist. There is so much we can do to help you, treat your whole body to prepare your body and balance your body. I know this message will get lost in all the others, but I hope somehow someway you this will make it to you and you can find guidance and help from an Acupuncturist. No one should have to go through this. Youre so incredibly strong.
I am so very sorry for your painful loss! We cry and hurt with you. You have a beautiful testimony that God is good! I pray that God heals your womb. Our love and prayers extend to both of you!
May the God of all hope restore your joys in the days ahead! He is a good, good Father who loves you so! Thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity, they are truth! God bless each of you on this part of your journey!
Anna Sondergard says
Having just experienced my first pregnancy and miscarriage 6 weeks ago, I’m standing here weeping for you. I can’t imagine going through it 8 times…the despair, the heartbreak. But as I was reminded by my husband…because we believe, we grieve with hope (1 Thess.). I’ll be praying for you specifically as you cry out to the Lord and seek for hope one more time. God is good, his timing is perfect, and his plans are not our plans. The pictures are beautiful!
Liz & Jose,
So sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is devastating and it changes your life forever. God knew what he was doing when he matched you and Jose together. I pray that your health will be restored, that you and Jose will continue to love strong, and for the little baby that you will someday hold in your arms here on earth. And for the record, you look beautiful in those photos. Hugs, love, & prayers!
Jenny smith says
Liz I am so so sorry to read this. I often think about you and Jose. Your blog was one of the main things that got me through my 5 miscarriages. No joke. A customer of mine wanted me to make something similar to a piece you posted and I came across your fertility posts. I couldn’t believe someone else was going through what i was going though. Your openness, positive attitude and honesty truly is amazing and you are an inspiration to so many people around you whether you know it or not. And I know there is NOTHING I can say to make you feel better right now, but when I was going through that I would always trust that feeling inside me that told me i was going to be a mother some day. Fast forward 2 years and i have 2 miracles. I pray this happens for you too!
Liz. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. You have been through so much and I wish there was something to make the pain go away. I don’t know why these things happen. I pray God will keep you strong and never lose hope. God bless you Jose and your babies in heaven.
I am so very sad for you. I am so sorry. ❤️
Shannon Delahoussaye says
First, I’m so sorry for your loss…I know this pain all too well..I have multiple fertility problems and suffered 4 miscarriages before having my first child…our second son passed away at 2 months old unexpectedly, and our rainbow was and is a complete God given surprise…I know it’s so hard to understand, but trust and God will work it out for your good!…I have sent a couple messages, but have never heard back…Please if you have never been tested for Natural Killer Cells…find a dr that tests and treats for this autoimmune disease…It is proven to cause multiple miscarriages…I could never have carried full term babies if I were not treated for this condition. The treatment consists of a IVIG infusion..Prayers for peace and that beautiful miracle baby!
Rachel Tan says
I’m so sorry Liz, I can’t imagine your pain. Sending love and hugs!
So very sorry for your loss. I pray for the Lords comfort and healing for you and your husband. Thank you for sharing my prayers will be with you
I have no words… my heart goes out to you, from momma to momma, this feeling is something no mom should ever experience …
I just wish and pray that your beautiful soul will life on, through this all, keep shining like you do…
on another note- I am very sure you have checked every aspect of reasons for the miscarriages, but sometimes the medical care is different in other countries- I just recently found out that I have a genetical disposition called factor 5 disease. It has to to with the bloods ability to thicken and stop bleeding. Anyway, my doctor who is a German specialist in this field said she was very surprised that I had two precagncies and never any miscarriages , because apparently this disposition makes that very likely to happen. She also said, that since this disease is being passed on genetically many many people are assumed to be suffering from it, unknowingly. I found out about it by accident, when I had a severe blood clog during my second pregnancy. Also, the test to find out about it in the blood is relatively new so not any doctor can just test for it. The good news is, that this is very treatable !!
I am not sure if you read this but I hope you do and that this might be of any help for you!! Please let me know if you have any questions about it, (you can contact me on instagram under the name thatswhatmattersmost)
Liz and Jose, I do hope you find healing in sharing your story <3 your angel babies are all dancing and flying and smiling in heaven together <3
So sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for what you both have gone through. Praying for you and Jose.
My heart breaks for both you and Jose. May God wrap his loving arms around both of you and give you peace.I do believe God has plans for you and Jose as parents. Grace and peace be with you.
I’ve been reading your blog for a few years but never commented before. When I saw this post, my heart began to physically ache. I know words can often seem empty, especially coming from a complete stranger, but I’m so truly, deeply sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry that your experience with the doctor was so awful. You deserve compassion and kindness and it seems as though you didn’t receive that. My thoughts are with both you and your husband. I hope you can find strength in one another during this difficult time.
I have been following your journey since before my 2nd miscarriage over 3 years ago. We have been unable to conceive again. But my losses are still safely tucked away in my heart. Sometimes there are tears and other times I smile bc they were real and mine for a small piece of time. And like you, I know I’ll see them again one day. I carry on with hopefulness. It’s not always easy. But my belief that God’s love conquers all give me strength. We won’t know or understand the why’s this side of heaven. Blessed is she who believed that the lord would fulfill his promises to her….keep trusting! ?
Ann McFarland says
Beautiful Liz, there is no magic wand nor potion if we dare believe such things by which to cure our brokenness. There’s no magic pill to take the pain away, or permanent pill to never allow your body to break down again. All I know Liz from the very core of my soul ;, is you Sweet Liz were put on this earth to be a mama?? All good things by our Father are revealed in his perfect timing. Now we for sure don’t call it that most the time, but he already knows if that babe in your arms is full term, with a ton of black curly hair… The absolute hardest part for my baby loses was they were intentional. Years ago I married a boy as I was left to my own vices at 15- my mama was done. Period, with her life of being a mom and dealing with 3 girls and no dads.. I was the last so there she left me. Well I got s job stayed in school and got pregnant. He beat me and kicked me till I was no longer with child. Liz, I felt I deserved it. That no one could love me if my own mama couldn’t. Well the beatings kept up and at 17 I got pregnant again, Praise God! No he said, “No baby’s gonna come in here and ruin my life”! Do again I was beaten so severely I almost bled to death and had to have surgery and stay I patient for 3 weeks. Sweet Liz, I’m just telling u a small part of my heart so you know today you don’t stand alone. We will see our loves again, and when that perfect time comes, and Gods plans align, it’s gonna happen babe!! I’m so so sorry to you & Juán my love. I’m praying for a hedge of protection around you both. Bless you always, Ann
So very, very sorry for your loss! God brought you to my mind the other day to pray for and now I know why. I will continue to pray for you – Father, the one that you love is hurting….hurting so badly. Please come close to Liz. Please heal her womb and her heart. May you send forth your healing hand and bless White Cottage Farm. Bless them, O Lotd. And lift up their heads again to you and fill their hearts with such an abundance of love, joy, peace and laughter that it overflows. Thank you for hearing and answering all our prayers – in Jesus’ name we pray
Winnie Owiny says
Hey Liz… My condolences for your loss. My sister lost close to 4 children but The Lord delivered her. In honesty, i do not believe that those 8 children were meant to leave this world. It was all the work of the enemy. My prayer and request is that Jesus would connect you to a spiritual church where you can get deliverance prayers. The devil is defeated and forever he shall be. I look forward to hearing your testimony of triumph..
You have been on my mind all week-I just want to send you love and warmth to surround you. I have experienced miscarriage and I know it’s an unspeakable grief. Just know how many people are sending you prayers and love. Please take care 🙂
Kim Dykman says
Again, no words only pain and tears. I love you and Jose so much and my heart hurts because of the suffering you are both dealing with….I wish I could take it from you ! God can!!! and I am so happy that you know that and will soon feel it too. There is another great song that reminds me of YOU – Mandissa – Overcomer ! that is you my sweet! Love will prevail and I am sending truckloads! The photos made me smile thru tears and I think you two felt the same way. Very special way to remember…and the babies were watching Mommy & Daddy so in love and missing them. The reunion is going to be amazing! Let me know if I can help with ANYTHING!
If you could imagine yourself in heaven, waiting with open arms to all who need your love and caring, then there will be multitudes waiting for your little one. Until one day you can be those loving arms.
Liz, I can feel a bit of your heartbreak in my heart. I know the longing to become a mama. I don’t know where your journey will bring you, but I know it will be beautiful. I pray for peace and joy to fill your heart and marriage. xo
Oh my word sweet Liz. Bless you. Your transparency is a gift. May you go forward in power and strength and might. The hardships, they transform, they are ever ready to teach and shape us, not define, but shape. <3
You are well. It is well with your soul and mighty wings will lift you as you wait upon the Lord. He is aware. He knows. He redeems. <3
Continue to wait upon the Lord. Your countenance is telltale and appointed. With love in the name of Jesus. ❤️ Sam
Tanya Derrey Bingham says
Your faith is inspiring, thank you for being so open and sharing Liz Marie. My losses have been different, but I have to believe that it all has a purpose. Praying for peace and healing ❤
Deborah boykin says
You are an inspiration to us all and these posts, as painful as they are to write, are helping others. Words cannot express my feelings, I’m so very sorry.
Kelly G says
Prayers for you and Jose along with all your babies in heaven. Please don’t ever say you are sorry when you share! There is nothing to be sorry for. You are sharing real life. I’m sure it helps you grieve while also getting support and helping others who have also been through the same things. I have experienced loss but only twice. Unfortunately, I was told at the age of 15 I couldn’t have children and if I could get pregnant I would miscarry. When I met my husband we fell in love and were engaged 3 months later. He always told me we could adopt or foster. I became pregnant at the age of 19 and had no idea until I started to miscarry. I was only 8 weeks along. I don’t think it was as hard at first since I had already known I couldn’t have children but also because I was so young. I got pregnant 3 months later and I definitely knew. I had all the symptoms. Went to the dr and just waited day to day. Then week to week. That became months. It was a horrible pregnancy a lot spent in bed but we were blessed with a healthy baby girl. Eventually had another miscarriage and then had a healthy son. I was blessed with 2 miracles and I believe god has a plan for all of us. It’s not fair what has happened to you but keep your faith and trust in it. Somehow god will provide wether it’s natural, adoption or something! Stay positive and we are all always here for you!
I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your sweet baby! Praying for you both as you process and grieve. May you ever feel the closeness of Jesus!
You truly are a beautiful woman who our Heavenly Father will bless in a way you will never expect. We are love you two and will pray for you each day.
Coward that I am, it took me until today to read your post. It has been 38 1/2 years since my miscarriage but the moments and the memories sneak up on me as if it were yesterday. Knowing how the loss has affected me, I can not imagine the ache in your soul from the repeated pain you and Jose have had to endure. However, what I see in the two of you. What I read from you. What inspiration is given from you freely to others. What true faith the two of you show. I believe there are big plans laid out for the both of you. Stay strong. Continue to lean on one another and hold on tight. God put you together for a reason. This is just the beginning.
Oh Baby Girl,
I SO wished I was your neighbor…I would so come over and sit, dance, cry, laugh or be silent with you in the field while listening to this song. My heart just breaks for you.
So sorry for your sad news. Hope all the support that’s shown here will help you through you, and your husband’s, grief.
Hi Liz. I just came across your blog—thank you for sharing your life and faith. My heart aches for your loss, and so encouraged by your love for the Lord and your hope in Him. Praying for you and your husband. May you always know God’s love for you and His peace!
Dear Liz- I too have lost five babies, the last being 20 weeks old. The pain is unbearable at times and I often wonder how unfair it all is. I admire your openness and honesty, thinking of you & your husband ❤️ Sharing our story has helped me, and I truly hope sharing yours will give you peace and hope for the future. Xoxo