How do I stay Positive…
I shared part of this briefly on my Instagram today, but honestly I wanted to share it here as well because I know many of you follow me because of our fertility journey. I get asked a lot how I stay positive during this fertility journey... & after 6 years on this wild ride I think I finally figured it out. I’m able to see the simple beauty in every moment & the hope around me is magnified by all my loss I have endured along the way. I see hope in newborn babies, flowers, sunny days, thunderstorms, laughter, a simple chat with a friend, small victories, love, & so much more. I wasn’t like this before losing all our babies or struggling for 6 years to grow our family.
Without Knowing Loss I’d never see the World
I breezed through life not enjoying the simple things & I didn’t see what a miracle it all really is… life is a miracle & I’m so thankful God put me on this journey so I can see the world like I do now. Without knowing loss or feeling the pain and agony of waiting I would never see the world the way I’m able to now & when you see that the tiniest things are miracles & the ordinary things are stunningly beautiful the world is a beautiful place. I know when we hold our baby someday no matter how God gives us that child I will love it so much more deeper than I would have without these fertility trials & for that I’m grateful. His timing is perfect. He is good all the time…
It’s by His Grace
So when you ask me how I survive recurrent miscarriages and many years of fertility struggles to conceive & then losing every single baby we have ever conceived… I can tell you that it’s not me, it’s Him. It’s prayer, it’s by His grace, it’s a gift that He has thankfully given me on this journey. That may sound unobtainable or silly, but it’s really simple and available to everyone.
It’s finding a reason to be thankful every morning, finding a purpose every single day, & trusting that you are exactly where God wants you. Choose to be a light in the darkness, chase your dreams even when you feel like you can’t run anymore & know that his timing is perfect. See that even though it’s not your plan it can still be good, & decide to use your trials to inspire others realizing that you need to enjoy this season so there is no regret later.
Peace in my Heart
God has made these things quite natural for me after praying for peace in my heart. It’s easy to get angry about our situation, but life is so much better when we choose to see the joy in it all & choose to trust and know that His timing is perfect. I will forever choose to be a light in this world rather than spread darkness. Am I perfect? No. Do I ever have bad days. Oh yes. Do I have to be reminded to trust? You know it. None of us have it all figured out or can say that we don’t get angry, confused, defeated, or jealous, but we can work hard at having more good days than bad & be a better person even when it isn’t easy.
Today my heart is hurting for my babies & longing to hold them. Today I envy those who carry their babies so effortlessly & today I pray that God blesses us with a child someday soon. But today despite all of this I am so thankful because I know God’s plan is bigger than mine & that our journey is for a reason. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to share our story here on the blog. I am thankful for your kind words always, your prayers, & the opportunity to connect with others who are struggling in similar and different ways. Thank you for asking questions like this one, thank you for all of your suggestions & help, & thank you for being here on this journey…. it means the world to me that you stop by here daily & to have you here in the highs & the lows. Thank you! xx
Thank you to @Joyeartistry for the beautiful gift of these flowers from her beautiful garden.
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