I usually don’t share sermons with you guys. I mean, maybe I should more often, but I usually just go to church, come home, & keep it in my own heart & mind. But I couldn’t just keep it to myself today. Not when I know that there are SO MANY of you going through a dark time. You know what, I’m just going to say it. I’m in a pretty dark season of my life right now. I was always scared to say that before for fear that people would think I was unhappy or that I wasn’t feeling blessed by our bountiful life that God has given us, but it’s the truth. I am living many dreams right now…. married to my best friend for 10 years, owning our dream farm, & owning our dream store here in Michigan. BUT one of my dreams, of being a momma to some beautiful babies here on earth just hasn’t happened. We have miscarried 7 beautiful babies. seven. Six miscarriages with seven beautiful babies in total. We have now endured 6+ years of infertility & struggling with so many health issues I can’t count. I’m not going to lie, I usually don’t get stressed above it, I’m never really mad at God, I don’t get jealous of others lives, & I’m truly living my best life. But it still it doesn’t always make sense when you are in the thick of it & there are days where you question everything. Why is this happening to us when we desperately want children? Why is God allowing this to happen to Jose & I when everyday on the news there is stories about children being abused, killed, & unwanted by their parents? Why us? Why are we having to endure this pain over & over again? God is not making sense. Well, that brings me to today’s sermon I heard & it brought everything I have believed, known, & trusted for so long to light.
Things don’t always make sense to us. There are bad things that happen that we don’t always see the meaning behind. Sometimes we do see why things happened after we are out of the trial, but most of the time they are all blessings in disguise that we may never know the reasoning for. Things are not always our plan, but they are all according to His plan. This is a three part sermon & today was number one & we touched on three very important things we need to make it through these times that don’t make sense…
- Patience-This is a hard one, but the one that made the most sense to me after the pastor explained it more. It doesn’t help someone that is going through a hard time to say “Just be patient” in fact that usually makes things worse. BUT patience in the darkness helps us see past all the pain. Patience is the very thing that helps us stay the course & trust in his plan for us. Patience is the thing that gives us hope & peace. Patience in these tough times is also the very thing that helps the dark time not be so dark. Patience is what helps us see the beautiful story God is writing with our life & to see the daily joys. When we are patient we see the joy in everyday despite the hard thing we are going though. When we are patient we are met daily with strength, daily joys, & peace because we are seeing beyond what we are going through & knowing that this is just a chapter in our lives. Honestly guys this is why I have gone through 6 years of infertility & still can be so positive. I get that question every single day, & I chalk it all up to prayer & patience that keeps me upbeat & not totally consumed by the pain of loss.
- Joy.Another hard one. You can’t just tell someone to have joy through their pain. It’s not that easy right? But it’s also not impossible & I am living proof of that. We must find joy within ourselves to get through the hard times gracefully and in tact. In the darkness we literally have to cling to, fight for, & rejoice in every single moment of joy. Joy is a product of trust. When we trust in God’s plan we can find joy in every single moment. If we are willing to choose joy we will be able to see all the little joys in our daily lives that are gifts from above. If we don’t choose joy through the hard times the alternative to that is very ugly. To live anxiously, filled with sadness, & not living our best life despite our circumstances is no way to live at all. I will always choose joy even on the hard days I will strive to find the blessings. & that is the way I will choose to live. I say it all the time, God has blessed us so richly after every loss to the point that I know in my heart that He is showing me that we are exactly where He wants us to be in that moment because I will always choose to see the joy and God in everything.
- Strength.This one seems obvious. You can tell someone to be strong through the hard times, but it really is the most important one. When we are going through darkness we have to ask for strength daily, agility to navigate the darkness, & perseverance to reach the light at the end of the tunnel. God always provides strength where we are willing to ask for it. Strength is so much easier to obtain when we also have patience & joy in our hearts. You know the saying, “God is good ALL the time”? Well it’s true. Through the hard times, through the good times, He is good. We must rejoice in Him through the difficult days because His plan will surely bless us more than we could ever imagine. Rejoice in God in the hard times & your strength will be renewed.
So, you are right. I don’t understand why we have lost all of our children, I don’t think it makes sense most days, but I know that this is a clip of my story & I want to be the best person I can be and live my best life even through these trials that are on my journey. Sometimes in life we think things aren’t fair. We wonder why hard times happen to us. We question why God is allowing this to happen to us. But when we think things aren’t fair, we are not looking at the big picture. These dark times are all part of our beautiful story. Each one of us has a unique story to tell & most of the time we can’t see that story God is telling with our lives until we come out on the other side. Things don’t always make sense. We all have seasons of darkness, but know that you are not alone, know that you are equipped to handle these hard things, & know that this is just a chapter in your life. These hard times will mold & shape us to be better people if we choose to not let them ruin us. I truly hope all of you know that the darkness is temporary & that these hard chapters do not last forever… you can do this. Whatever you are going through… you can handle this. Always choose patience, joy, & strength in all seasons. This is a three part series at our church so I will be back with my thoughts on the next ones as well. I hope this helps some of you & I want to say thank you to everyone for helping us through this hard season of ours & for always stopping by our blog daily to support us on our journey. xx
Ps. our church live streams services to people around the world & our church, though new to us in the grand scheme of things, has really helped us on our journey. You can find the lifestream & past services & more information [HERE]. Also, a huge thank you to my good friend Kristin Jones for capturing these photos of me & my fur babies… who aren’t so furry anymore.